ouch.

[unexplainedExplorer]

after a month and 2 weeks of not self harming i relapsed. feelsbadman. i was so proud of myself too, i thought i was on my way to 6 months. my highest record is 5.

i could really use some kind words, since i can't tell anyone in real life. they either wouldn't understand, think i'm crazy, or send me to the hospital.

but either way, we move. we move until we can't move anymore.

thanks for reading, SS recovery forum.

 

[Embalmer]

after a month and 2 weeks of not self harming i relapsed. feelsbadman. i was so proud of myself too, i thought i was on my way to 6 months. my highest record is 5.

i could really use some kind words, since i can't tell anyone in real life. they either wouldn't understand, think i'm crazy, or send me to the hospital.

but either way, we move. we move until we can't move anymore.

thanks for reading, SS recovery forum.

Even though you went through a relapse you should still feel proud of yourself for staying clean as long as you did. A month and 2 weeks is absolutely amazing! Recovery is a lifelong commitment that will come with ups and downs eventually, and restarting is just another part of the process. Before you even know it that 6 month goal will be right there. You're doing great and I wish you the best, if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always be here. <3

 

[Seven Threads]

Hey there, Explorer. I'm sorry to hear you fell off the wagon. I imagine you must be feeling pretty frustrated about that right now, especially if you were aiming for six months. It also sounds like you've been at this for a while, if you've established a record. I'd be curious what set this particular incident off, but I don't know if that's something you feel comfortable sharing.

What I'd really like to ask is how are you feeling right now? What's going through your mind? Relapse of any kind tends to leave people discouraged at the very least, and I wouldn't want you to be in a bad way without some kind of support.

I don't know if you're feeling any kind of guilt or self-blame here, so if I'm just projecting, feel free to ignore what I say next. But if you're being hard on yourself for slipping up right now, don't. Habits of any kind are hard to break, especially when they give us something we may need at the time, however harmful they may be otherwise. You wouldn't be doing it if it didn't meet some kind of need you have right now, and breaking out of that long-term without slipping up is a tall order. So whatever else you're going through right now, I hope you're not crucifying yourself, either for relapsing or for the behavior in the first place.

Are you planning to try and get back on the wagon again? Is there anything we cna do to help, or something that makes it easier?

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

Hey there, Explorer. I'm sorry to hear you fell off the wagon. I imagine you must be feeling pretty frustrated about that right now, especially if you were aiming for six months. It also sounds like you've been at this for a while, if you've established a record. I'd be curious what set this particular incident off, but I don't know if that's something you feel comfortable sharing.

What I'd really like to ask is how are you feeling right now? What's going through your mind? Relapse of any kind tends to leave people discouraged at the very least, and I wouldn't want you to be in a bad way without some kind of support.

I don't know if you're feeling any kind of guilt or self-blame here, so if I'm just projecting, feel free to ignore what I say next. But if you're being hard on yourself for slipping up right now, don't. Habits of any kind are hard to break, especially when they give us something we may need at the time, however harmful they may be otherwise. You wouldn't be doing it if it didn't meet some kind of need you have right now, and breaking out of that long-term without slipping up is a tall order. So whatever else you're going through right now, I hope you're not crucifying yourself, either for relapsing or for the behavior in the first place.

Are you planning to try and get back on the wagon again? Is there anything we cna do to help, or something that makes it easier?

i might not try again for a while, but thank you so much. i really needed to hear that. a smile was on my face the entire time i was reading this post. thank you. :)

Even though you went through a relapse you should still feel proud of yourself for staying clean as long as you did. A month and 2 weeks is absolutely amazing! Recovery is a lifelong commitment that will come with ups and downs eventually, and restarting is just another part of the process. Before you even know it that 6 month goal will be right there. You're doing great and I wish you the best, if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always be here. <3

thank you so much for the kind words. i was disappointed in myself because a month and two weeks felt like nothing compared to my other recovery attempts, but that reality check was refreshing. recovery is a rollercoaster, and although it takes a lot out of us, we need to ride it.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

"We move until we can't move any more" - that's so true. What a great attitude. Keep going, with perseverance like that you can achieve your goal.

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

"We move until we can't move any more" - that's so true. What a great attitude. Keep going, with perseverance like that you can achieve your goal.

yup! that's what i'm all about. thank you.

 

[Mirrory Me]

One thing that helped me stop self-harming was learning to be patient with feelings (there is always a reason for them). You will have to deal with them sooner or later, but working with them will help you understand and accept yourself, and cope better in the future. Learn to love yourself.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

im sorry you were in a position where u felt the need to relapse. its never easy to deal with urges, but it can get more possible with time and practice. you are no further away from recovery after relapsing, its all a part of the journey there. any amount of time between lapses is something to be proud of, especially 6 weeks! sending you as many hugs as you need if thats ok with you <3