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LocalAngel

LocalAngel

Lost, wanting out.
Feb 7, 2023
214
For those with systems (Commonly known as DID or OSDD-1) how do you overcome... well, all of it? I keep flip flopping between wanting to see if i can just cease to be host, and just giving up entirely and CTB. I have no idea how to do the former, but i know that plurality doesn't really have rules when it comes to alters.

I'm scared that when the time comes, i won't have the willpower anymore suddenly- but not because of me, but because someone else might step in. Guess that means i gotta be extremely sure of my decision, huh?
 
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catastrophix

catastrophix

and my nightmares will have nightmares every night
Feb 20, 2023
106
Hello, fellow plural! I sort of have the same issue. I'm the host, but there are a couple of other alters that front frequently as well, and they don't want me to CTB. I'm not sure how your system operates, but there is a possibility that an alter would try to interfere with a CTB attempt, especially if you have any protector alters. We've been trying to switch the host position for a while, but it takes a lot of work, like having alters be more co-conscious, or triggering a front on purpose, like using a comfort item to make someone else front. (Ex: an alter in our system likes a specific plushie we have, so having the plushie on hand may make that alter want to come out, and you can at least get a little break from fronting. Communication is key for changes in a system, but it's obviously easier said than done.

So sorry this was long and probably nonsensical, but I honestly just don't have a straightforward answer since each system is so different. Also I don't really know any advice for the CTB part, as my past CTB attempts ended with an alter calling for help. sorry!
 
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LocalAngel

LocalAngel

Lost, wanting out.
Feb 7, 2023
214
Hello, fellow plural! I sort of have the same issue. I'm the host, but there are a couple of other alters that front frequently as well, and they don't want me to CTB. I'm not sure how your system operates, but there is a possibility that an alter would try to interfere with a CTB attempt, especially if you have any protector alters. We've been trying to switch the host position for a while, but it takes a lot of work, like having alters be more co-conscious, or triggering a front on purpose, like using a comfort item to make someone else front. (Ex: an alter in our system likes a specific plushie we have, so having the plushie on hand may make that alter want to come out, and you can at least get a little break from fronting. Communication is key for changes in a system, but it's obviously easier said than done.

So sorry this was long and probably nonsensical, but I honestly just don't have a straightforward answer since each system is so different. Also I don't really know any advice for the CTB part, as my past CTB attempts ended with an alter calling for help. sorry!
We had what seems to be a system reset or something alike it? Basically no one besides me fronts- and anyone else who does, does so randomly and seems to vanish. It wasn't always like this, but more trauma means more system instability for us, while recovery means more consistent structure, so it makes sense.

I have no idea if someone would try and take over in the last moments, so my resolve would have to be absolute. I have a lot of power over the system, being the host... but the second i let my guard down, or start dissociating too much, that's it. So i would have to be very grounded, very resolved and very determined. All of which are things that can easily falter, so who knows..

In terms of host switching, we've tried switching hosts quite a number of times. every time i do give up control, i just wake back up in front like nothing even happened. I think a specific alter would have to be around consistently, and i'd have to... try, somehow, to transfer power over. I have no idea how i'd do this.

We recently got a fictive, and her trigger is her source material... so i could just do that? But i think i'm also just scared of giving over control like that these days. I used to be better about it, but recent trauma has made me not want to become so vulnerable. If that makes any sense?