Venting Ordered SN Today - Feeling Worse

[moggedtodeath]

I've went ahead and placed my order for SN tonight and also ordered the other required items for the plan. I'm just sad it has to come to this. I'm not sure what's next for me and think I should just do this while I have the resources. I thought I'd be able to feel free when I obtained these items but I feel even worse. I know I'll be crying and upset when it's time to carry this out. there is no hope left.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Take comfort in having the tools at hand. You may not use them, but at least you have them. I'm still trying to find a source for my own. Whenever your SN arrives just put it in a secret place with everything else. When you're ready it will be there.

 

[bedhead_baby]

If you're not feeling confident in your choice, please consider waiting. Maybe just having the tools will make you more comfortable, knowing you can use them if things get very bad.

I won't assume I know your situation, but if you're devastated at the idea of carrying out a suicide, it sounds to me like you want to live. Maybe not live the life you currently have, but to live for the life you want.

I want to die and I want to live, and I want to have never been born. I would understand if you felt the same.

Please think carefully and be safe. Remember we're here if you want to talk.

 

[befree]

Consider it as an emergency exit. You don´t have to use it now. But it's good to know you're prepared for the day X.
And there are also not many SN sources left. Therefore, you can feel lucky to have your emergency exit.

 

[Eternal🌈Rainbow]

I know I'll be crying and upset when it's time to carry this out. there is no hope left.

I get you so much. This is me too. It's truly heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
I hope you find solace and peace and your pain ceases soon.

If you're devastated at the idea of carrying out a suicide, it sounds to me like you want to live. Maybe not live the life you currently have, but to live for the life you want.

Yes, this is me. But I won't ever have what I need to even just exist. So I can't live. And it shatters me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring and awful having to suffer like that, existence is just too cruel. But anyway best wishes.