Venting Only eternal nothingness is ideal

[FuneralCry]

Only eternal nothingness truly is ideal, it's all I wish for as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm. To have the ability to exist really is the most futile and hellish imposition, I see no point and value to existing as a conscious being who is capable of suffering so extremely and feeling the most immense agony. For me existence itself really is the true problem with ceasing to exist being the solution to this, in fact death would solve everything for me, I wish for eternal nothingness as then I'll be no longer burdened with this existence that caused nothing but meaningless suffering in the first place.

All that appeals to me is the peace of an dreamless, eternal sleep where all is finally forgotten about, I'd always prefer to not exist especially as there are no disadvantages to being unaware for all eternity with nobody being able to be harmed by the absence of everything, yet there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence and I don't want to suffer in any way, instead I just want nothingness.

For me non-existence is always better than pointless suffering in an existence that was always so undesirable, I only find comfort in the thought of being unconscious for all eternity, I wish suicide is as straightforward as just choosing to never wake again, it's a devastating tragedy how methods like Nembutal aren't easily accessible