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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,493
This is such a suicide fuel for me. A woman just ghosted me on a dating app for still studying at 27.
I have more likes but the conversations don't hold long. The sister of a friend gave me a good review of my profile.

I had a call with a person interested in my psychosis self-help group which turned into a lecture about Jesus Christ.

And I messaged the woman I dated/texted with and I might wrote a too long message. I have this tendency. I think she likes shorter messages.
But I am so fucked up mentally. I am overthiking everything in a ridiculous way. I hate myself so fucking much.

I slept very badly. I am really paranoid and anxious right now. It is very hard to endure. I would like to kill myself straightaway. My mood swings really escalate again.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
440
I am so sorry about that :< I don't really know how to cope with something like that myself as when I get friends they often abandon me. It can make you feel like you have less self-worth and that there is something wrong with you.
 
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M

MyTimeIsUp

Perhaps I'll be important when I'm long gone?
Feb 27, 2024
505
She isn't worth thinking about. Many study in their 30s, 40s - who gives a shit? How old was this 'woman'?

Overthinkers and people pleasers tend to write long messages, and those that take a genuine interest. It's really hard to be brief when your mind is like a maze - I understand. I quite like longer messages, because it shows you took the time to take an interest in replying - but also it can show you add information that is completely irrelevant, and that shows a tendency to over explain yourself (people pleasing), when really, we don't owe anyone shit.

Despite this essay (lol - showing an interest), when I text my friend, I no longer send him MASSIVE essays LOL, so I am definitely getting better at it.

This woman is of no relevance to you. You literally don't know her. She's a stranger. Don't let it get to you. The less you expect of people, the less you will feel rejected. Rejection is normal in life, and no one owes you an explanation unless you have plans with that person and you're in an official relationship or they are your friend with plans made. I know this is hard to accept, but it's true.

The sooner you learn to lower your expectations, the sooner you will feel less overwhelmed. Your expectations of people are likely high. Lower it. It works wonders. It does take time to practise, but you'll get there

Killing yourself over someone rejecting you isn't worth it. You're 27, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future. Is there a reason you're using an app? Why not meet a woman in a normal way? Approach, make conversation. Everyone seems to be on apps these days and no one talks to anyone, that doesn't help social skills or confidence.

Get yourself out there and go meet some women. Go to a bar? A club? A group meet up? You mentioned you're studying so there must be somewhere you're doing that?

Sometimes a different perspective can help, rather than our own overwhelmed perspective.

Please try to remind yourself rejection is part of life. It's part of growing and gaining confidence, you can't expect every single woman to want to meet/talk to you, that isn't reality, everyone is different, we all have different standards - albeit, some shallow yes, but fuck them, you don't need those types in your life so don't look for them.

If a woman isn't engaging in conversation with you, it could be one of two reasons, 1) she's not interested 2) she's incredibly shy (some are, some aren't - like men), but you'll figure it out.. one word answers is pretty obvious, and don't push it if she isn't responding/evidently isn't interested. Take an interest in her, and see if she does/has already. Some weirdly, won't make the first move, but you could try that.

It'll get easier, I promise. Give it time. You're literally 27. A hard age. 20s are rough, it gets easier

Find a common interest and talk about it. Break the ice 🙂

Oh and one more thing.. never settle. Ever. You know what you look for in a partner, so go for that (I'm not talking about looks - looks are important, but also not the most important part - anyone can be attractive, literally anyone).

If anyone ever shows signs of any red flags you're not comfortable with, just fucking run. Don't explain. Run.

Remember, you don't owe anyone shit, unless you're in a long term (NOT abusive relationship - you can run from that whenever you're able to - no need to give a reason) relationship. What I'm trying to say is, don't let people make you explain yourself (red fucking flag)

Shit, this got long fast. OK, I really enjoy helping others, it's one of my passions.

I hope this helped a bit. Also ok if not 🙂
 
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shrizoid

shrizoid

Student
Nov 18, 2024
127
This is such a suicide fuel for me. A woman just ghosted me on a dating app for still studying at 27.
I have more likes but the conversations don't hold long. The sister of a friend gave me a good review of my profile.

I had a call with a person interested in my psychosis self-help group which turned into a lecture about Jesus Christ.

And I messaged the woman I dated/texted with and I might wrote a too long message. I have this tendency. I think she likes shorter messages.
But I am so fucked up mentally. I am overthiking everything in a ridiculous way. I hate myself so fucking much.

I slept very badly. I am really paranoid and anxious right now. It is very hard to endure. I would like to kill myself straightaway. My mood swings really escalate again.
Me personally, I wouldn't care much, I've been ghosted and abandoned by many, if they were so easygoing about doing this to you then they probably weren't worth a damn, as fucked as this may sound, just start expecting this possibility when you start talking to people, it won't hurt as much if/when it happens again, and it would feel more rewarding if the person actually takes a liking to you
 
N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,493
She isn't worth thinking about. Many study in their 30s, 40s - who gives a shit? How old was this 'woman'?

Overthinkers and people pleasers tend to write long messages, and those that take a genuine interest. It's really hard to be brief when your mind is like a maze - I understand. I quite like longer messages, because it shows you took the time to take an interest in replying - but also it can show you add information that is completely irrelevant, and that shows a tendency to over explain yourself (people pleasing), when really, we don't owe anyone shit.

Despite this essay (lol - showing an interest), when I text my friend, I no longer send him MASSIVE essays LOL, so I am definitely getting better at it.

This woman is of no relevance to you. You literally don't know her. She's a stranger. Don't let it get to you. The less you expect of people, the less you will feel rejected. Rejection is normal in life, and no one owes you an explanation unless you have plans with that person and you're in an official relationship or they are your friend with plans made. I know this is hard to accept, but it's true.

The sooner you learn to lower your expectations, the sooner you will feel less overwhelmed. Your expectations of people are likely high. Lower it. It works wonders. It does take time to practise, but you'll get there

Killing yourself over someone rejecting you isn't worth it. You're 27, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future. Is there a reason you're using an app? Why not meet a woman in a normal way? Approach, make conversation. Everyone seems to be on apps these days and no one talks to anyone, that doesn't help social skills or confidence.

Get yourself out there and go meet some women. Go to a bar? A club? A group meet up? You mentioned you're studying so there must be somewhere you're doing that?

Sometimes a different perspective can help, rather than our own overwhelmed perspective.

Please try to remind yourself rejection is part of life. It's part of growing and gaining confidence, you can't expect every single woman to want to meet/talk to you, that isn't reality, everyone is different, we all have different standards - albeit, some shallow yes, but fuck them, you don't need those types in your life so don't look for them.

If a woman isn't engaging in conversation with you, it could be one of two reasons, 1) she's not interested 2) she's incredibly shy (some are, some aren't - like men), but you'll figure it out.. one word answers is pretty obvious, and don't push it if she isn't responding/evidently isn't interested. Take an interest in her, and see if she does/has already. Some weirdly, won't make the first move, but you could try that.

It'll get easier, I promise. Give it time. You're literally 27. A hard age. 20s are rough, it gets easier

Find a common interest and talk about it. Break the ice 🙂

Oh and one more thing.. never settle. Ever. You know what you look for in a partner, so go for that (I'm not talking about looks - looks are important, but also not the most important part - anyone can be attractive, literally anyone).

If anyone ever shows signs of any red flags you're not comfortable with, just fucking run. Don't explain. Run.

Remember, you don't owe anyone shit, unless you're in a long term (NOT abusive relationship - you can run from that whenever you're able to - no need to give a reason) relationship. What I'm trying to say is, don't let people make you explain yourself (red fucking flag)

Shit, this got long fast. OK, I really enjoy helping others, it's one of my passions.

I hope this helped a bit. Also ok if not 🙂
Thank you for this reply it was really helpful.

The woman of that dating app is also 27 but finished with her degree. Eventually she replied but it took some time. Though I think it is a matter of time that I get ghosted again.

I am in a self-help group where I meet people and the conversations with these women were way better than the dating app experiences.

And you are right I am an overthinker and people pleaser.
 
thronesick

thronesick

i am a hive walking
Jan 2, 2025
25
rejection is apart of the human condition. it's simply a redirection. it doesn't make us unworthy. it simply not the right choice or path to make. if she doesn't like the way you fucking text then so be it.. we have to stop convincing ourselves to change in order to conform to someone else's standards. what about your own? you deserve better than people who would rather you change for them instead of growing with them. change is adapting and growing progrsss and evolving within. no i don't think i have been outright rejected but rejection comes in many forms right? being passed over leas on or withdrawed from it makes us feel unwanted like our effort means nothing. i know it's so easy to give advice and offer up the idea to let go but i know it's not that simple when you suffer from mental illness but you really should give yourself some grace. rejection isn't about you specifically don't feel targeted it's their limitation not yours.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,493
Both did not ghost me on Thursday. I was wrong. But both of them ghosted me today. Fuck my life. I knew it from the start. It makes me terribly unhappy. It hurts like hell. I don't have the mental strength for dating I suppose. But SaSu disctracts and comforts me.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,669
this knw this awfl species this all awfl this all wst tme wst efrt, this lif all wrng all nonsns all crlty ppl tell u ok ok this no ok, this all nonsns game ppl tell try try hpn wat rndm lk keep do keep do tme mov mov no get any no see any no hpn any, this all nonsns cncpt
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,493
Actually, only one of these women has ghosted me yet.

The conversation with the teacher continued. It is the person I am more interested in.
We texted almost the whole fucking day. It was awesome.

It was a little bit one-sided and I asked most of the questions. And it was mostly about her life. But later we also discussed bullying and more personal questions. I am content thus far. But I am not sure whether she is really interested in me in a romantic way.

It was by far the best conversation I ever had on a dating app. I am surprised in a positive way. And it will tear me apart if this contact stops. It might literally kill me. Lol.
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,493
The excessive texting continued. It turns out she is also mentall ill. It sounded a little bit like borderline. But seemingly it is not. Maybe. Hopefully. She barely gives me compliments though. I think she has issues.

I got another match. Tbh the sister of my friend is beyond Ivy League educated if she is able to give me matches on dating apps. Her advices were on top.

I am sort of exhausted - but it is very positive. I also got the phone number of that teacher.

Tbh I am an addicted texter and when I say it is a little bit too much then....it really is excessive.
 
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