Venting one more chance.

[EqualibriumWithin]

where oh where do i start, i am at a moral impasse, i have all of my sources lined up, prepped and ordered. yet, i still feel the moral obligation to give life one last final, genuine push. no lies, no fake, nothing. a genuine try, and if it doesnt work out, i have my out. its interesting how when at the darkest times, the closest time to death, its the most prime time to give one last final push, the most genuine try ever compared to all the other times. in a way it feels like SI fears, yet at the same time i suppose knowing that i can use SN whenever, is in itself a deterrent to CTB. does anyone else feel similarly about this? its a weird, twisted feeling. its not fear, its not not suicidality, its not depression, it feels like genuine determination. its a feeling i dont understand and cant really process. its so twisted

 

[jodes2]

It worked out quite well for me. I'm in a better place with that final push. Congratulations on deciding to give it another go! I wish you the best