One month to go

[samdocheon]

Hey there,
I made this post to share my mind during this process.
But first, it will not be my first attempt, hope the last.
Since 2017 , I live in an other World. First attempt and first fail. And more and more.
Bored about psychiatry and World in general. I really need to stop this.
Anyway.
I decided to proceed in 1 month, because I can't for now. I choosed the way to ctb and some kind of stuff.
The point is I feel guilty about my mother and sister who always loved me and supported all along these 7 years. But the time is come.
Actually, i'm with them on holidays and I can't talk because I will say something wrong, so I'm stay in silence with them. Feeling so sad everyday to stay so distant.
I know my act will be very painfull for them but I can't change my mind and I don't want btw.
I just trying to find the way they accept this ending a little bit more easily , ok ... Maybe it's not possible but I have a month to find.

Thanks for reading me

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing, I wish you all the best.

 

[samdocheon]

Exactly..
Edit: thanks for the wishes
This years was so long and at the same time very important to the final ending.
I'm literraly Homeless, I mean I worked so hard to loose every reason to stay.
And finally I'm ready.
Just want to talk with peoples who can understand my throughs w/o judgements or survival advices.