Story On not writing a note (Recent Decision)

[TAW122]

Throughout the years I've been on here, I've deliberated on writing notes, going from yes, to no, to maybe (in limited circumstances), and then currently (and very likely) back to no. Allow me to explain my reasoning on how I arrived at my current decision.

So in the past, previously, I always wanted to write a note simply because I wanted to let the people around me know "why" and give them closure, but then, after realizing the effort, the trouble, and logistics involved, I've decided, nah, it's just not worth it. Later, I decided, well maybe it's better for their mentality and they deserve to know at least for closure, but just brief and limited. Then in the last few months, back to no.

Explanation of why I (recently) decided not to write a note:
Now as for my recent decision back to "no, I won't write a note", this is because of several reasons and factors. I've realized that not many people will give a shit about my reasons (maybe some acquaintances and family members, but that may be too optimistic and idealistic to assume that). Then there is the problem of skimming through, trivialization, and dismissal of my reasoning. Furthermore, I just don't want to go through the hassle, time, effort, and waste my mental energy to put out something eloquent and elaborate only for it to not be read, misinterpreted, and at worst, used to further pro-life sentiments with the focus on the wrong narratives (TAW122 CTB'd because of insert x reason, TAW122 is just in a lot of pain, if he wasn't suffering he wouldn't have gone, TAW122 is irrational/mentally ill, etc.).

Therefore, instead, I've just decided to write a manifesto, which is not so much about me, but more about the pro-choice movement and hopefully generating enough doubt and skepticism of pro-life values and sentiments such that someday, it will shift the change of a pro-life society into a pro-choice society. That's the least I can do. Plus, I'm also writing an open letter to our pro-choice community which is show my appreciation, ensure that I was and always will be pro-choice, and also to castigate any pro-lifer who wishes to harm our pro-choice community. Ever since the Shatto incident, over a year ago, I figured that pro-lifers would oftenly try to blame the community for someone's death and I wish to rectify the situation that no one in the community made my choice. I made my choice by myself and mine alone. That's the purpose of the open letter (along with showing my gratitude). So with that said, when my time comes, I don't plan on writing personal notes to loved ones, for all the reasons mentioned. Hopefully that all makes sense.

 

[Return2Dust]

I'm going to write a note. I went back and forth on my motivations. The reason for writing a note is to remove pain and responsibility from family members. Not writing a note would leave so many unanswered questions. For the longest time, I carried so much anger toward specific family members - I wanted them to be stuck with "why". Over the last year, I've made peace with the people who were so hurtful in my life. I don't owe them an explanation, but I want to keep my side of the street clean - even in death.

 

[profoundexperience]

I just don't want to go through the hassle, time, effort, and waste my mental energy to put out something eloquent and elaborate only for it to not be read, misinterpreted, and at worst, used to further pro-life sentiments

instead, I've just decided to write ... about the pro-choice movement and hopefully generating enough doubt and skepticism of pro-life values and sentiments

I've gone through almost exactly the same angst and "flip-flopping": There are some people who might understand my "personal whys" and learn something helpful, but there are many others who would label them "pathological".

So, I too have decided to say my "personal whys" are too many and too ~expansive to detail in a short note... so I'm not going to list my "whys". Rather, I'm going to list a few things I think every human being should know, something like...

I PRESENT MY "MANIFESTO" IN DRAFT.... A WORK IN PROGRESS

My finding is that most people would say/think/believe that "Life is a good thing." Although I'd strongly prefer this to be true, I think it's quite possible this conclusion is wrong. There are dozens of reasons, but I will give you six:

1. Cognitive biases make us believe life is good because it's better for our survival to believe that. Attached is a chart of some of the common "programs" built into our brains/minds that corrupt our ability to see reality as it is. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/65/Cognitive_bias_codex_en.svg

2. Evolution completely explains the origins, developments, and nature of life. LIFE DOES HAVE A PURPOSE (aka meaning), but it is found in a "bottoms up" analysis rather than a "tops down", supernatural one. Although we cannot yet create life "from scratch" in the laboratory, there is absolutely no reason to believe we won't be able to.

What is plainly clear and available (for you to see for yourself) is that life has to do with an emergent property of matter: That atoms can combine into a specific pattern whereby that pattern becomes a sophisticated machine. And that machine, in the presence of the right raw materials, has the ability to copy itself. And, although the copying is very "high fidelity", mistakes creep in (just like making a copy-of-a-copy on a Xerox = keep removing the original and re-copying a copy and you see the same copy errors creeping in). Then, certain copies will have advantages in particular situations and, of course, those copies will be those most likely to have babies. Rinse & repeat for 4,000,000,000 years and voilà... here we are. It's not rocket science!

Evolution is quite subtle and it requires determination to understand the deep implications. One subtlety is to realize it is not traits (wings, eyes, cognition, etc.) nor species that are evolving. Traits and species are the "outer shells" of a molecule that is really evolving. Another subtlety is to notice that "Survival of the fittest" doesn't necessarily mean survival of the strongest or smartest individual. Sometimes "fittest" means the smallest... or dumbest.

3. Speaking of evolution, do please realize that all our most valued human things, (including "love") are emergent phenomena from evolution.

4. Believing in nonexistent supernatural beings or processes isn't "free of cost": If those things do not exist (and I can't say this strongly enough... they absolutely do not appear to) it is believing in a lie and the costs us dearly in not pursuing and acting in accordance with the truth. This has been and is perhaps one of our most monstrous evil as human beings. When you add-up all the evidence, all kinds of evidence, this is where it all points: That this doesn't have anything to do with "purpose", or "intention", or "something's will", or "something's plan". Other than stories and myth, none of those things are plainly clear and available.

5. And now please allow me to float an idea that many you will find really reprehensible (but do please ask yourself why). I don't want this to be the case and I sincerely wish this wasn't the case. Having children is an act of selfishness. It is not beneficial for any living being to be brought/forced into existence. I'm not saying this as a moral tit-for-tat or judging you in some way. This isn't personal. I am saying this is the outcome of pure reason: Simply put, it is logically impossible to bestow benefits to a non-existent being before it is brought into existence (prior to that, there is nothing there to receive any benefit). Therefore, all the benefits of conceiving a living being can and do only redound to it's parents/progenitors. Therefore, having children is an act of selfishness. But, it is not you, dear reader, who was alone selfish if you had kids: The "programs" in the DNA made you do it. It's as much, if not more, a function of selfishness and drive for survival built into a chemical molecule/machinery. Ignorance of this is not bliss. And this is one example of what I mean when I say "monstrously evil". (please read and at least consider the attached article). https://aeon.co/essays/having-children-is-not-life-affirming-its-immoral

There really is nothing good in creating "need machines" who then need to "bow and scrape" to satisfy their need. And, need itself can never be truly satisfied (for, if it were, then no movement/activity whatsoever would ever need take place).

6. I leave you with a final thought: Notwithstanding our arts and scientific discoveries... our temporary/vississatudes pleasures: Fundamentally, all we're doing here is either "making messes" or "having to 'clean-up' those messes"... and neither of those is a particularly noble/worthwhile ambition, in my humble opinion.

 

[TAW122]

I'm going to write a note. I went back and forth on my motivations. The reason for writing a note is to remove pain and responsibility from family members. Not writing a note would leave so many unanswered questions. For the longest time, I carried so much anger toward specific family members - I wanted them to be stuck with "why". Over the last year, I've made peace with the people who were so hurtful in my life. I don't owe them an explanation, but I want to keep my side of the street clean - even in death.

While that may be true, I believe my family may already have some ideas of why I want to CTB, so they aren't completely off-base when it comes to the reasons, since in the recent year or so, my life has been sucking. I simply don't wish to elaborate and make things more complicated than it should be, but if they are already to guess incorrectly or dismiss all the other reasons, then I see no point in putting the time, effort, as well as risking getting caught when adding additional steps towards my CTB plan.

Furthermore, (as I didn't mention this in my first post in this thread) I believe over the years on here in this community, I've listed my reasons, including most (if not almost all) the personal reasons, both major and minor ones in various threads that I've created, thus have left my reasons in one way or another. The difference is that here, in this community, there are like-minded people who will not misinterpret (at least not intentionally), dismiss, and are supportive of my reasoning even if they aren't exactly on the same page. This is rather important as other platforms and IRL aren't empathetic, are dismissive, and of course would push the pro-life sentiments whether gently or by sheer force.

I've gone through almost exactly the same angst and "flip-flopping": There are some people who might understand my "personal whys" and learn something helpful, but there are many others who would label them "pathological".

So, I too have decided to say my "personal whys" are too many and too ~expansive to detail in a short note... so I'm not going to list my "whys". Rather, I'm going to list a few things I think every human being should know, something like...

I PRESENT MY "MANIFESTO" IN DRAFT.... A WORK IN PROGRESS

This is an interesting angle to look at things and your manifesto focuses more on the human nature, evolution, and hard science aspect (molecules, biology, DNA, etc). Mine is more focused on rights, freedom, and logic, and mine is mostly done, with just a few areas to polish before it's fully ready. My manifesto would highlight my reasons (especially the philosophical and existential ones as well as human nature), except for all the personal ones.