Thanks for bringing this up, because it's something I've been meaning to talk about since last week.
I think it depends entirely on what kind of life you're living and what your attitude to life is. Christopher Lee (Dracula, Saruman, Count Dooku) released his first (!) heavy metal album when he was 88 years old.
Agree, health and circumstances are everything. Thus, it doesn't really matter if you're 88, 44, or 22. My mum (and people in general) will tend to say "if I was still your age", well, she sees herself at that age, not me.
99.9999% of elderly men are not releasing heavy metal albums, c'mon man. Most that age are already contemplating their death.
Unfortunately, that's true also. The probability of declining health increases immensely the older we get. What I'd like to know is are we aware of it? To me that is the question. I've always been a control freak. So, naturally being able to choose, but also be aware of my situation, is essential to me.
Was in hospital last week. Apart from surgery I spent around 30 hours in my room. In all that time the gentleman next to me didn't say one word, nor move. He was mostly asleep from what I could tell, snoring every few minutes. He might've been around 80, but really I couldn't say. Obviously, he was extremely sick and I assumed heavily sedated. The staff came in every once in a while to check his medications, clean him and so forth. They were really kind and would talk to him, but he never replied. Then his ex-wife showed up. We talked a little and she told me he had been declining for years, and had been like this for about a fortnight. She even said that this wasn't life and hinted it would be better to end it. That really surprised me, because of course those were my thoughts as well, but I'd hesitate to voice them in front of him as an outsider. Anyway, she was about to leave because she didn't see much point, and I told her she might as well wake him since everyone else did. So she did, said hello, who it was, followed by a private joke on cats, and then she said his eyes lit up and he smiled.
Know another person aged around 90 who got Alzheimer's. He was highly intelligent, sophisticated, well-mannered, and proud, even vain if you will. About three years before he had it full blown he told my mother that he was having trouble with his memory. He kept his physical abilities, but ended up not knowing who my mother was, lashing out at everyone, wearing nappies and being infantilised by his private nurse.
His wife of around seventy years was relieved when he passed, which isn't surprising because she had to endure most of his behaviour during these last years. Unfortunately, she died half a year later in sound mind and against her will due to cancer.
Both situations are different, and I'd like to think (better not) that the gentleman from the hospital might've been aware of his situation and would've offed himself if he could. Perhaps he had a good life and some things to hold onto, and as such was unprepared for whatever led him there two weeks ago. Our friend though had the ability to ctb from a physical standpoint, but must've been completely unaware of his situation. He would've never stood for it, not in a million years, and yet he slipped into that state despite being aware of some problems at the outset. It's a very subtle disease.
The thing both share, of course, is that they couldn't let go. Which I consider normal if one isn't suicidal. Clearly, the obvious solution is that we need to be able to choose our own fates before we even get into that situation. Everything else isn't humane, but torment.
