Oh look. another breakdown.

[BitterlyAlive]

Why can't I just bloody kill myself? People want me to get better and be happy but i can't. Even if I could, I have no desire to get better. I hate this country, I hate this planet, I hate myself. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve peace. And I wouldn't want to stick around for this shit anyway.

I really hope I can get meds that make me impulsively suicidal again. It was such a mistake to stop the Lexapro after my stupid attempt. I need a kick so I can take my SN. I deserve to fucking die.

I feel like such a jerk for my earlier posts by the way, I want to apologize to you guys. I think I was just trying to convince myself I could do it.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm really sorry you feel this way. Lots of reasons to hate your country and even the planet. I don't know you well, but I'm sure you can find reasons not to hate yourself. It sounds like you've been struggling, and it's really easy to think the worst about ourselves when we're in that position.

With regards to your meds, did your doctor pull you off them or did you just stop taking them? Going off antidepressants can wreak havoc on your system if not done carefully (in fact, even if done carefully sometimes).

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm really sorry you feel this way. Lots of reasons to hate your country and even the planet. I don't know you well, but I'm sure you can find reasons not to hate yourself. It sounds like you've been struggling, and it's really easy to think the worst about ourselves when we're in that position.

With regards to your meds, did your doctor pull you off them or did you just stop taking them? Going off antidepressants can wreak havoc on your system if not done carefully (in fact, even if done carefully sometimes).

I guess there's good things about me. People seem to like me irl. People don't seem to mind me much on here. I just really hate myself. I've hated myself since I was a kid.

Yeah, I stopped taking them. Tapered on my own. Thanks for the warning though; some (like Effexor) are notorious for the difficult withdrawal symptoms.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I like you.

 

[Visperidia]

I very much understand the bitterness for the world. The world is shit and people suck. Existential dread is real. But energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes forms. And I hope our souls are the same.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I like you.

Thanks, mate.

But energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes forms. And I hope our souls are the same.

Very interesting. Do you care to expand?

 

[Visperidia]

Thanks, mate.

Very interesting. Do you care to expand?

I believe in String theory. Everything and everyone you touch and interact with leaves an impact on you. Everything is just electrons and neutrons moving around, hitting each other, exchanging energies/reactions. I believe the same way matter can be neither created or destroyed that the human soul cannot be destroyed either. Only change form, one way or another. What and who you are will always be around, this life cannot be all that there is I think. Just my opinion though.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I believe in String theory. Everything and everyone you touch and interact with leaves an impact on you. Everything is just electrons and neutrons moving around, hitting each other, exchanging energies/reactions. I believe the same way matter can be neither created or destroyed that the human soul cannot be destroyed either. Only change form, one way or another. What and who you are will always be around, this life cannot be all that there is I think. Just my opinion though.

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing, it's always nice to read people's viewpoints.

 

[Ktmnny]

I really hope I can get meds that make me impulsively suicidal again.

What med is this? I need it, I am having the same issues as you