Oh. Is this you?

[stellabelle]

Wearing your daddy's shoes?

Wishing you were him again, I see.

Well, why'd you hide the shoes?

Because every time he leaves, mommy beats on us and screams.

And every time he comes back, she chases him into a corner and terrorizes him too, and stops him from getting to the phone to call his "friends" (911) for help.

Oh, how the years go by.

We told you that if you always tell the "truth", things get better.

They don't.

We told you someday you'd be able to "defend yourself."

You'll get your dream job… you're soooo smart…. You're so perfect… you're sooo full of potential….. we swear. (As they smile in your face and cross their fingers behind their backs.)

That someday you'd be "old enough" to decide where you want to live. That you'd make enough money to get out of abuse. We told you that someday she'd stop ripping your hair out, screaming in your face, lying, hitting you, and drugging you.

We told you if you "went to school" that it would "all be okay."

We lied. We burned you.
And we lied so much. We convinced everyone of our lies. We betrayed you again and again.
Awwww…. Too bad.
(Evil smiles)
Enjoy your -life-.
Enjoy your death.

Well you could be just like us…
Oh that's right… we're all just so much better than you.

Oh did I do something "wrong"?
Was it "something I said"?
Was it "something I ignored?"
Was it… was it…. Was it good?
How are those "boundaries" treating you?
Oh… they aren't.
Is that…. Is that your corpse?
Good.
It's just *so. much. better. now.*
So can I get you to take your pants off? Mind if I unbutton those? Here have some drugs down your throat. Or alcohol. If I keep harassing you, will you do it? It'll make me shut up. So I can laugh at you and humiliate you some more. You're just so pweshus.
I just want to "jump your bones" hehehehehehehehe….
Ahh, I feel great… I destroyed your life in one click. Turned you off like a tv with a remote.
Feel free to pull your own plug, kid.
I'll just keep hitting you, keep biting you, keep molesting you, when you step away I'll put my hands on you again, as you smile knowing how uncomfortable it makes you… awwwwww. They can hit you, touch you, grope you, slap you, bite you, and rape you all they want. And nobody will ever listen to you. Isn't that like so cool?

I'm so pretty, I'm so perfect, I'm so cool, I'm soooo cute….

I'm soooo cool… I'm so cool.

"But you have to be like… the golden flower on top."
(Smile smile.)
(Wink wink.)
Don't you know?

 

[Sanva]

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that. I can't even begin to comprehend what you went through and are going through. I hope the people responsible get what they deserve.
I don't know how to phrase this given the topic and I'm sorry if I make this sound offensive, but you just write very, very well. you write with a unique style, with a lot of emotion.

 

[Chey]

This is such brutal emotional truth. You did not deserve this. I'm sorry you went through all that and have so many hurts and scars. While I can empathise and relate, I cannot comprehend your experiences or what it has left you with. I'm sorry.
I also have to agree with Sanva that you write so well. You convey so much emotion You've touched my soul.

 

[CrossroadsCurious]

People can be so evil, no one deserves this!

 

[stellabelle]

Don't be sorry.
There is no sorrow.
Just expression, there is no need for sorrow.

 

[Insomniac]

It's terrifying the extent to which adults lie to children.

 

[stellabelle]

It's terrifying the extent to which adults lie to children.

Agree.

If I was a mother (I never will be.)
I'd "share" the "magic" and "truth" of "life" -
I wouldn't call my child a mistake and flaunt how much I love everyone else's kid. I wouldn't leave them longing for those three words. I wouldn't intentionally sabotage them. I wouldn't ignore them. I wouldn't fuck with them or encourage them to harm themself or others. I wouldn't leave them devastated every day and longing for a hug or validation. I wouldn't "test" them by hurting them intentionally. Using them as some sort of hostage, pawn. Anything to make it about "me" and "my" wants.

I would let them be them.
But life can be so cruel.