Of course...even a last minute treat to myself can't work

[oopswronglife]

This may sound like terrible and pointless whinging...since when we are gone what does it matter...but with me trying to gtfo of here next week I ordered something to treat myself to a small pleasure over the weekend. I am not even going to say what as its so benign and material it's irrelevant. I paid a lot for two day shipping so it would arrive today. I was looking forward to at least that small thing. Well it arrives damaged thanks to shit packaging from the retailer. Not only that they have no phone number as seems the norm now, and email is the only contact, which if course they advise takes one to two business days to reply to. So even if there was any hope of them doing the right thing and dispatching one overnight for Saturday delivery it's not possible to press for, since the soonest they MIGHT reply is Monday. I hope to be dead not long after that. I live in a rural shithole and there is no place locally to get it. And the "it" is not even the point. It's that every goddammotherfuckingshit thing I try to do gets fucked because of someone else's negligence/laziness/greed/ego. My life ruining surgeries, my requests for assistance, my much needed promised help from former partner, family, and friends. Nobody fucking does what they say they will do...what they should do...what I did and would do if it were me. This small thing...would have taken someone thirty seconds max to do correctly...and I'd have at least a small enjoyment over the next days...but NOPE. FUCK ME. Well I say to all of them and this world....fuck YOU.

 

[jgm63]

Very sorry to hear.
I hope you can perhaps figure out some sort of alternative or some other idea that might bring you a little bit of enjoyment.

 

[Sensei]

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have a small window of opportunity or is it possible to postpone your departure a couple of days so you get the chance to enjoy this last pleasure?

 

[oopswronglife]

Nah...this thing isn't worth waiting for. It was a little enjoyment not a life changing event. I am tired of this pain, isolation, loneliness, total lack of agency over my own life in middle age because others stole it from me, and how nothing ever goes right and nobody ever does right by me. I either need someone to step up and help NOW...or I am done. Nobody cares. Only the cat has any sort of affection for me...I just want her and I in a flat somewhere but I can't even get that.

 

[Sensei]

Well, it doesn't have to be a life-chaning event. It's never wrong to give yourself a treat, however small.

Funny, I'm in my early middle age, very close to being isolated, and have a cat, or rather two, myself. What kind of help is it that you need?

 

[Flume]

Take care love, I'm sorry this happened to you. Almost everyday I scream into a pillow or my arm because of some stupid reason, everything is so overwhelming and I don't know how to deal with it. Hugs to you friend