OCD really just feels like a death sentence

[anothing]

I recently got back from a residential program for ocd, I've made progress but I'm still absolutely miserable, I have been my whole fucking life, the treatment barely works and is just complete agony, no matter what I do, give in to the urge to do rituals, or resist, it's just a nightmare, the pain never gets easier, it always feels like the world is ending, everything you care about, everyone you love, gone, and you know what, it's true, that shit happens, because you can't function, sorry

 

[lost guy]

You more than likely will have those urges for a long time. Just try to combat the urges with distractions. At least you have the ability to recognize when the urges set in.

I hope you will continue to fight the urges.

 

[Gnip]

Years ago, I read a clinical journal article which described a girl with OCD who attempted suicide with an overdose of 50,000 mg fluoxetine. Instead of dying, all symptoms of her OCD completely disappeared for six months.

I gave a copy of that article to my psychiatrist, who understandably wasn't cool with the idea of me trying something like that, but that result put to shame everything I ever read in the way of self help literature on OCD. (Among those miserable self help failures were 1976's "Freedom from Compulsion" by the late psychiatrist Leonard Cammer, and 1997's "Brain Lock" by psychiatrist Jeffrey Schwartz, both psychiatrists personally known by my own psychiatrist - I've told him to let Schwartz know his book stinks!)

Results like these strongly suggest to me that SSRI medications may be getting misused. The orthodox approach is to gradually titrate the dose of SSRI upwards, but that's the only time patients develop and die from serotonin syndrome. Might a singular SSRI megadose under inpatient medical supervision be more effective and efficient?

Granted, risks are involved, but greater risks as defined by psychiatric pro lifers than CTB?

Personally, I am more than willing to voluntarily sign off on taking a single 100,000 mg dose of fluoxetine as an inpatient at a teaching hospital to discover whether or not it helps me get better. In two years of research, I never found a single successful CTB as a result of a deliberate SSRI overdose. Instead, they ALL got better. Fatalities from serotonin syndrome ALWAYS occur because the patient has taken increasing doses for SSRIs for an extended period of time, NEVER all at once.

 

[SadJessu]

OCD feels like it eats away at your soul, I've heard therapists say that outside of schizophrenia and Bipolar disorders, it's the worst mental illness to be affected by in terms of mental anguish.

The only thing that helped me was Fluvoxamine, which made my OCD (which I've struggled with episodically since childhood) all but disappear. The downside is that I'll probably have to be medicated my entire life, which makes becoming a mum very difficult. I once went a year without before relapse, so I have that hope anyway. The worst part is that my partner doesn't fundamentally understand OCD and thinks it's a part of my personality, he isn't a strong believer in psychotropic drugs, and earlier this year talked me into stopping again. I relapsed hard, to the point where I lost 10lbs and became very irritable due to the constant obsessions. He said he'd become fed up with me, and it was an incredibly painful period. I started the medication again and I feel that he'll always view me as crazy.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

i couldn't relate to this more. it takes up every second of your day, it seems to be all you think about and all you can do. exposure is awful and sometimes doesn't even work.
i'm here if you need someone to talk to <3

OCD feels like it eats away at your soul, I've heard therapists say that outside of schizophrenia and Bipolar disorders, it's the worst mental illness to be affected by in terms of mental anguish.

The only thing that helped me was Fluvoxamine, which made my OCD (which I've struggled with episodically since childhood) all but disappear. The downside is that I'll probably have to be medicated my entire life, which makes becoming a mum very difficult. I once went a year without before relapse, so I have that hope anyway. The worst part is that my partner doesn't fundamentally understand OCD and thinks it's a part of my personality, he isn't a strong believer in psychotropic drugs, and earlier this year talked me into stopping again. I relapsed hard, to the point where I lost 10lbs and became very irritable due to the constant obsessions. He said he'd become fed up with me, and it was an incredibly painful period. I started the medication again and I feel that he'll always view me as crazy.

damn, i've never heard about what therapists said about it being the worst mental illness in terms of mental anguish but i couldn't agree more.

 

[rt1989526]

Pure-O OCD made me drop out of college and they pumped me full of meds for it. Destroyed my life. Horrifying illness.

 

[jrums]

I had Pure-O OCD with intrusive homosexual and other "weird" thoughts when I was younger. After I found a book about Pure-O it made me feel a little better that I wasn't a total freak but then it just manifested into germ phobia. Also pumped full of meds like @rt1989526 that eventually destroyed my thoughts, emotions, sexuality, sleep, and physical-self amongst other symptoms. That's why I'm here now. But hey no more OCD. Fuck this life.

 

[Going Home]

I recently got back from a residential program for ocd, I've made progress but I'm still absolutely miserable, I have been my whole fucking life, the treatment barely works and is just complete agony, no matter what I do, give in to the urge to do rituals, or resist, it's just a nightmare, the pain never gets easier, it always feels like the world is ending, everything you care about, everyone you love, gone, and you know what, it's true, that shit happens, because you can't function, sorry

I'm sorry that's happening to you. I hope things get better soon.

 

[xLosthopex]

Yes, and I hate how this disorder is trivialized so much because most people have no clue what ocd actually is
To put into context, I suffer with Anorexia, bulimia, borderline personality disorder, depression, autism, adhd and OCD and I can say without a doubt that OCD is far worse than any of my other disorders, in fact it was probably the root cause for almost all of them

 

[Annabella]

Ohh i i understand how that feels :/ Mental illness can really make someone suicidal, especially when medication doesn't seem to help. Many times you get the impression that this situation is inescapable and that there doesn't seem to be any other solution except this... I understand this feeling all to well :/ it's the worst when you aren't taked seriously by the people around you...
I wish you health and enough strength to battle your condition.
English is not my first language, sorry for weird syntax

 

[NeverSatisfied]

Yes, and I hate how this disorder is trivialized so much because most people have no clue what ocd actually is
To put into context, I suffer with Anorexia, bulimia, borderline personality disorder, depression, autism, adhd and OCD and I can say without a doubt that OCD is far worse than any of my other disorders, in fact it was probably the root cause for almost all of them

THIS X1000!! I hate when people think of or Hollywood portrays OCD as a "really bad cleaning/ tidying bug." It's literally your mind taking away/ endangering all normal activities and safe spaces until there's nowhere else to go and you're trapped.

 

[Promortalistic4Life]

OMG I'm sorry to say this but I'm happy you posted this! I suffer from OCD as well and it's one of the reasons I'm so suicidal. It really can make life unbearable.