For those who don't know, in the books/films of Harry Potter, the spell 'Obliviate' wipes the memories of those targeted. The character Hermione uses it on her parents before she goes on a dangerous quest with the lead character. No doubt- to spare them worrying about her.
So- the question is- if you could- would you do the same to your loved ones and family before CTB?
No. I would actually want most people to remember me. I tend to be a shy person - I am autistic and I tend to hide a lot r if and when I can.
But this is why I would like to be remembered;
1. For those who abused me even before I learnt to talk or walk, remember me and what you did to me. Remember the "dead" eyes of the little girl that you killed over and over again.
2. For those who hid the perpetrators - remember me. Remember that you are worse than the perpetrators for you know the difference between right and wrong. You killed a little girl and chose to side with the abusers.
3. To all those who hounded me when I was a teenager and vulnerable with no adult to turn to. The shopkeepers who levered and made crude comments and inappropriate gestures. Remember that you have a hand in my death.
4. For the landlady who knew I was underage, gave me a room and help it over my head. Remember me. I paid more rent than everyone else, working for slave wages due to my age to keep myself safe. You exploited the situation. Instead of being a safe adult, you became another person to exploit a vulnerable person.
5. For those who betrayed me and judged me because of my vulnerability and mental health, I hope you are happy with the support (lack of) that excaberated the situation.
6. To the Consultant in charge of the local hospital A&E who told me that reasonable adjustments can only be made to disabled people if the hospital is able to cater for us - Thank you. Remember me for I never reached out to A& E and if I have ended my life, it is because essentially you made sure that I never set foot in another hospital to obtain treatment ever. And fornthe nurse who put me at risk by turning me away from A&E by denying the reasonable adjustment after I had taken a massive overdose - well done, mate - hospital you can look at yourself in the mirror and go to work knowing that you are capable of murdering your patients.
7. For my ex GP and especially the person who owns the surgery - if and when I end my life, the responsibility stops with you. Be denying equal accessibility to disabled patients, you essentially stopped me from using your services. Hope when you look at your children, nieces and nephews - you remember that you were responsible for taking away the mother of my children.
8. For all those who reached out to me and tried to help - remember me and Thank You. Your help did not go in vain - I tried and helped everyone I could through my job, charity, volunteering etc - and I was only able to do that as you almost stood by me. You made me into someone who was of some benefit to others and Thank You. You know who you are.
I do not want to erase myself off anyone's memories - for good or bad, there are lessons to be learnt by those I will leave behind. If some learn the valuable lessons, hopefully it will help them to help others.
