Help Obituaries in the USA

[Stan]

Through some private message conversations I had recently, two Americans asked me to look out for their obituaries in their local paper so I could confirm how they went etc. to help the forum. Been waiting 2 weeks for one and a week for the other. My question is that I don't don't know whether the US culture have obits as a mandatory thing? If it was a suicide, do they tend to keep it quiet? I also understand they may not have passed but their last log in times corresponds to the last conversation. Both would have been informative stories to tell regarding methods. But hate to mention them without that type of confirmation. They seemed pretty sure they would have obits which makes it more confusing for me.

 

[SoupSnakes]

Sorry to reply to this and not really have any answer regarding what you're asking but are obits always a thing here? I've had people around me pass and not have obits, I'm assuming it would be down to the family to do them?

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

My question is that I don't don't know whether the US culture have obits as a mandatory thing?

No, they are not mandatory. It is entirely at the discretion of 'next of kin', the estate, etc.; even if the person has left explicit instructions about it, they may not be respected. Nor are they, like, an automated process; someone needs to manually reach out to publications to provide the information. They also aren't free of charge, so if a person is without funds to pay for the publication of the obit, then that could be a barrier.

If it was a suicide, do they tend to keep it quiet?

I can't remember ever seeing anyone I knew who CTB'ed identified explicitly as a suicide in an obit; I do recall one specifically where there was some flowery, metaphorical allusion to suicide.

 

[Stan]

Sorry to reply to this and not really have any answer regarding what you're asking but are obits always a thing here? I've had people around me pass and not have obits, I'm assuming it would be down to the family to do them?

In the US it seems that obits in newspapers are quite a thing. Not so much for us in the UK.

No, they are not mandatory. It is entirely at the discretion of 'next of kin', the estate, etc.; even if the person has left explicit instructions about it, they may not be respected. Nor are they, like, an automated process; someone needs to manually reach out to publications to provide the information. They also aren't free of charge, so if a person is without funds to pay for the publication of the obit, then that could be a barrier.

Thanks. Knowing the peoples stories then, I think I will stop looking.

 

[passenger27]

No, they don't say whether it's a suicide or not. My stepdad cbt years ago and it just said so and so died (no reason given) on such and such day and is survived by the members of the family, then went on to describe how great he was.

When my mom died I had to call the newspaper and tell them exactly what to put in the obit. I can't remember the price but it was a certain amount per word. I guess maybe there are people out there who may mention suicide but who wants to ruin that squeaky clean image of their relative?

 

[bukowski]

Obits I have seen for suicides in the States generally say "died suddenly"

 

[BlueWidow]

I agree with all the above replies that obituaries are probably not mandatory.
I can tell you it's extremely expensive to print an obituary in the paper. Here's the information from the newspaper that my husband's obituary was printed in. I'm sure most papers in relatively large cities have similar prices, or possibly higher prices.

The first 5 lines are free for the first day only. There are approximately 20 to 25 characters per line, including spaces and punctuation. Additional lines (6+): An automatic flat fee of $30, plus an extra $11 per line per day for Monday through Saturday; and $12 per line for Sunday.

I'm not sure why it's so expensive. It kind of feels like the newspapers are taking advantage of people during one of the worst possible times of their life when they've just lost a loved one. I'm sure they think that people will spend whatever money they have to in their grief.

 

[Daniela]

@Stan

Can a SS member PM you their facebook page for you to check (and report from) eventually?

 

[SoupSnakes]

I agree with all the above replies that obituaries are probably not mandatory.
I can tell you it's extremely expensive to print an obituary in the paper. Here's the information from the newspaper that my husband's obituary was printed in. I'm sure most papers in relatively large cities have similar prices, or possibly higher prices.

The first 5 lines are free for the first day only. There are approximately 20 to 25 characters per line, including spaces and punctuation. Additional lines (6+): An automatic flat fee of $30, plus an extra $11 per line per day for Monday through Saturday; and $12 per line for Sunday.

I'm not sure why it's so expensive. It kind of feels like the newspapers are taking advantage of people during one of the worst possible times of their life when they've just lost a loved one. I'm sure they think that people will spend whatever money they have to in their grief.

I can't believe it's so expensive! I don't know if I was just being naive but I never expected people to have to pay for that, that is absolutely awful!

 

[BlueWidow]

I can't believe it's so expensive! I don't know if I was just being naive but I never expected people to have to pay for that, that is absolutely awful!

Yes, I remember being shocked by it as well. My husband actually worked in several different places all over the United States and we originally wanted to put his obituary in the newspaper for each city that he worked in, but it was so expensive just putting it in one paper, that we decided not to put it in any other ones.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

My husband actually worked in several different places all over the United States and we originally wanted to put his obituary in the newspaper for each city that he worked in, but it was so expensive just putting it in one paper, that we decided not to put it in any other ones.

This is so sad, I'm sorry. It is really so terrible how even death is something to be made a profit off of here in the US in such a grotesque way.