Mx_Pathetic
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- May 8, 2023
- 102
I stopped using this app for awhile for a couple reasons, the main one being a got a new phone but the other being that I wanted to try one more time to "get better". I've currently been seeing a psychiatrist for 4-5 months to get a diagnosis (I knew I had depression and anxiety and ADHD etc but I always felt their was something more, so I wanted a diagnosis just to check) anyways last month I got diagnosed with Bipolar II and Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm currently in the works of finding someone who can "treat" me. However what I wasn't expecting throughout all of this was me reaction to the diagnosis...I said before I got diagnosed that if it was BPD then my struggles weren't going to get much easier from here and I was going to stick to my plan of ctb. However I got diagnosed with 2 disorders so I'm not sure what to I want to do, I'm most likely going to go through treatment. I currently feel so lost and broken from the diagnosis, I feel like it just proved what I already knew and that was that life won't get easier for me. My suicidal thoughts have come back again, I think about it at least every other day now. I got in contact with a old one friends and they've moved up in life, they graduated and they became a pilot. Me on the other hand haven't changed within the 2 years we haven't talked...I'm still the same jobless, mentally ill adult who leaves on a couch gaming and living off my parents.....I'm such a disappointment...
