Venting Nothing works me

[arnxxx]

Ive been depressed for 1.5 years now and before that I had only depressive periods. Now it's all day suffering everyday.

I tried therapy for 3+ years, 2 hospitalisations, different kinds of meds, rTMS, ketamine. The result: FEELING EVEN WORSE. I fucking hate it. Why can't I just recover. Even if I recovered for 5% I'd have the idea I'm recovering. But no the depression has only gotten worse. The days are tougher to get through.

I am seriously driven into suicidal ideation. If life can't give me peace ... Well you know.

Why can't it just get better. Why am I forced to live like this. I don't even want to live anymore. I wish I was dead and got some goddamn peace.

 

[derpyderpins]

Why can't it just get better. Why am I forced to live like this. I don't even want to live anymore. I wish I was dead and got some goddamn peace.

For people who haven't had depression and similar mental health problems, it's hard to understand that there's a difference between shutting down and truly getting rest. Just fighting as long as you have deserves a lot of credit, so please take the time to acknowledge that even though you haven't recovered you've done a great job trying.

 

[arnxxx]

For people who haven't had depression and similar mental health problems, it's hard to understand that there's a difference between shutting down and truly getting rest. Just fighting as long as you have deserves a lot of credit, so please take the time to acknowledge that even though you haven't recovered you've done a great job trying.

Hey thanks for the response.
I done a decent job surviving. I want to live again. I want my life back. Depression took everything from me. Most days im at home alone. Parents cook for me since I can't do it anymore. They've done other chores for me too. I'm just too tired. I can't go on like this any longer...

 

[Arahant]

Been there.
I made a long ass list, with suicide at the very end.
Depression would die, or I would kamikaze into it.

You have tried everything that you currently know of.

What finally moved the needle for me was metabolic therapy; ketogenic elimination diet (the carnivore diet).

There is serious scientific evidence mounting for the efficacy of this approach.
in short, when they brain is not polluted by allergens and has ample energy, mental diseases fuck right off.
The books Brain Energy and Change your diet; change your mind describe in deep detail how this works.
Many personal stories are on youtube. Brett Lloyd in particular had the meanest depression I have ever heard of for 40 damned years, and he reversed it completely.

Dear OP, try ONE last thing. Just one more thing. I will answer you any questions I can, coach you if you request.
You don't deserve to suffer depression.
You deserve to thrive, and a fair chance at living a full life.

May everyone be free of depression.