Venting Not worth the time.

[szk]

In my time of being alive I've come to one realization. If I wait, I get hurt. If i self harm, the hurt leaves. I feel better bleeding than I do waiting. I've realized that suffering through so much in such a short period of time every day isn't worth it. It's not worth my time. I literally waste my own time existing, and not in my own will. If I could just leave this place without anyone noticing or knowing I'd be happy. Only at that moment I would be satisfied. My parents? Sure I'd hurt them but they brought me here to satisfy their needs. My friends? Screw them. They never cared about my health or wellbeing even at my lowest points I would still care for them. My boyfriend? Yeah no, he can find someone else. I'm not worth his time or life. He can make better memories that are more valuable than ours. He's not even satisfied with me. I don't have a method just yet but if I do it'll be a silent, painless, no evidence death. I don't want to be here long but at the same time this would be waiting and I've come to terms it's not worth it.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least to me suffering could never be worth it in any way as well. I see no benefit to enduring this futile process just to decay from age and die anyway. Existence is completely a waste of time and really is unnecessary. I wish we existed in a world that was more accepting of suicide and where painless methods weren't restricted from us, I see nothing more ideal than just peacefully passing away and being free from existence for all eternity.