Not the time. Help?

[unfair]

Hey guys, I know I've only posted a little but I need your help. Please convince me not to do it in the heat of the moment. I'm having those feelings now even though I've been planning for months now.
It hurts so bad right now that I just want to end it. But I know it will just be an attempt.
talk me off a ledge until I'm able to cognitively go through.

 

[RedDEE]

If you're going to do it - make sure it's not just an "attempt". Make sure you use a method with a high degree of lethality. I don't want to see you only brain damage yourself. That's worse than death.

I'm not the type of person to tell others what to do. But I will say, if you're going to do something, do it right.

 

[bravotess]

When I pull the proverbial trigger I know it's going to be some little thing that just set me off. That will mean I'm ready. You are only really "ready" the moment before you start the act.

 

[unfair]

I have attempted before and ended up in the hospital which only fucked me more. I have tried to plan out as much as I can but damn... heat of the moment will get you you know?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Please don't do something you will come to regret later on. Don't cause yourself any additional damage or pain. Suicide will always be around, it's not going anywhere. I know it's hard and you just want it all to end but take a step back and take a deep breath

 

[unfair]

My method is CO. I have all the supplies but I HAVE to make sure it will work which is why this is throwing a curve ball at me. I have a shotgun, can easily shoot musket hut damn, I don't wanna go out like that. I care about people.

 

[goodbyearies]

You don't sound like you're ready yet.

 

[unfair]

Please don't do something you will come to regret later on. Don't cause yourself any additional damage or pain. Suicide will always be around, it's not going anywhere. I know it's hard and you just want it all to end but take a step back and take a deep breath

That's literally why I came here. So you guys could talk me down before I make the worst mistake of my life. I know doing it out of emotion is wrong but damn it. It hurts so bad I want to end it now.

 

[BPD Barbie]

That's literally why I came here. So you guys could talk me down before I make the worst mistake of my life. I know doing it out of emotion is wrong but damn it. It hurts so bad I want to end it now.

Take your frustration and hurt out another way. Punch the shit out of a cushion or pillow, scream, cry, just let it all out. We are all here for you

 

[unfair]

You don't sound like you're ready yet.

I'm not. I have a bucket list of literally two things that are obtainable tonight. But it HURTS!!!!

 

[IrRegularjoe]

What's your bucket list?

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

ending your life is a big decision to make. big decisions like that should be made after you've done thinking with your head and not your heart. just because the option to ctb and the methods to do so are easily available to you doesn't mean that you have to commit suicide right now.

 

[unfair]

Take your frustration and hurt out another way. Punch the shit out of a cushion or pillow, scream, cry, just let it all out. We are all here for you ❤

I'm so beyond frustration though. I used to self harm alllll the time but it doesn't work for me anymore. I'm not sad, I'm so fucking frustrated I just want to end it tonight. But I know thats not rational and I will make mistakes.

What's your bucket list?

My 2 things are to tell my bf about all this. Send the final text if you would.
And see my grandmother one last time which will happen tomorrow. If I make it there.

ending your life is a big decision to make. big decisions like that should be made after you've done thinking with your head and not your heart. just because the option to ctb and the methods to do so are easily available to you doesn't mean that you have to commit suicide right now.

You're so right. I'm totally thinking with my heart right now. Which is why I posted! I know that's wrong. I know what I want to do and I have it planned out but things sometimes fuck it up and we have to do it right.

 

[goodbyearies]

We have to do it right. Be patient.

You post as many words as you need to. Even though the result is a finality, this is a journey.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

I'm so beyond frustration though. I used to self harm alllll the time but it doesn't work for me anymore. I'm not sad, I'm so fucking frustrated I just want to end it tonight. But I know thats not rational and I will make mistakes.

My 2 things are to tell my bf about all this. Send the final text if you would.
And see my grandmother one last time which will happen tomorrow. If I make it there.

You're so right. I'm totally thinking with my heart right now. Which is why I posted! I know that's wrong. I know what I want to do and I have it planned out but things sometimes fuck it up and we have to do it right.

Well, I hope you stay strong. Enjoy as much time with your Grandma. No need to do anything sudden.

 

[unfair]

Well, I hope you stay strong. Enjoy as much time with your Grandma. No need to do anything sudden.

That's all that's keeping me up at this point.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

That's all that's keeping me up at this point.

Just know she wants to see you to. You'll make her day.

 

[goodbyearies]

Can I ask, why do you want to tell people?
I've told people that it's coming.. I'm not sure that was a good idea.

 

[Caspers]

I don't want to see you only brain damage yourself. That's worse than death.

I can vouch for that. I have an acquired brain injury due to it and it SUCKS. Don't do anything impulsive, I promise you it will decrease your life quality significantly.

 

[unfair]

I ended up falling asleep thankfully. In my sober mind I know I have to wait for everything to fall into place but god I hurt. And I'm ready to just end it.

Can I ask, why do you want to tell people?
I've told people that it's coming.. I'm not sure that was a good idea.

I don't actually want to tell anyone, I just want to send a goodbye text without actually saying goodbye, ya know? Nothing suspicious.

 

[unfair]

Are y'all still here? I wanted to tell you guys that I have a great last time with my grandmother and a wonderful time with my mom. I'm so beyond content. Next weekend should be the perfect time

 

[ladolcemorte]

Just a reminder that no matter how much planning you do, death is NEVER a 100% guarantee. Some methods might have a higher likelihood of success, but you have no way of knowing whether you will be among that percentage. (People have survived jumps from the Golden Gate bridge, after all...)

If you do something in the heat of the moment, you are even more likely to make a mistake and end up brain dead, paralyzed, or otherwise worse off than you were before. In that case, your life will be even worse, and you may be physically unable to end your life if you still wanted to...

 

[unfair]

Just a reminder that no matter how much planning you do, death is NEVER a 100% guarantee. Some methods might have a higher likelihood of success, but you have no way of knowing whether you will be among that percentage. (People have survived jumps from the Golden Gate bridge, after all...)

If you do something in the heat of the moment, you are even more likely to make a mistake and end up brain dead, paralyzed, or otherwise worse off than you were before. In that case, your life will be even worse, and you may be physically unable to end your life if you still wanted to...

You are so right. Last night I got in the heat of the moment and all that was keeping me here was seeing my grandmother and you guys. I'm hoping to have every last detail planned out so that next weekend can be the final destination. I'm happy with where I stand in my relationships which is what meant the most to me. I think I'm ready.

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

Hello friend, im new to posting in this forum, but im glad you didn't do anything rash, a lot of times people do things without thinking that end up making things worse(speaking from experience). Its always good to have a plan, but from reading your post it sounds like you have people that care about you and would be devastated to see you leave, make a plan, just to have one. Im not one to talk you out of anything either, everybody makes their own choices about their own life, but whatever you do end up deciding i hope you find peace.