HangingByAThread
New Member
- Apr 2, 2020
- 3
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
basically I'm a bit of a recluse without any friends to call on. ive been unemployed through this pandemic (restaurant work) and it does look like things will be getting back to normal.
the sad thing is I'm 38 and figuring out a different life path is terrifying. Yes I know everyone's going through similar issues and so on but in my mind it seems easier to just end it.
I've been very manic throughout this all, cutting myself a lot working up the courage to get closer and closer to my wrists. I look like a freak in the summer now because my arms are all cut up. Not that I'm around people I really know so who cares. I keep using the excuse of a cat but this cat must have some wide claws and a vendetta against me because my arms starting To look likepretty gnarly.
I'm trying to figure out the best way to go. Hanging seems the easiest and cleanest way. While I've gotten closer and closer to my wrist I'm not sure I want to go that way. I guess if Suicide was easy I wouldn't be here.
any other suggestions? Not a big drug user but maybe if I can get my hands on opioids I can try to OD but again, inexperience May land me in the hospital with a very expensive bill.
anyway just putting that out there. Anyone have some suggestions of quick and painless?
sorry for the rant, just spewing it out there while I hang on between manic swings.
basically I'm a bit of a recluse without any friends to call on. ive been unemployed through this pandemic (restaurant work) and it does look like things will be getting back to normal.
the sad thing is I'm 38 and figuring out a different life path is terrifying. Yes I know everyone's going through similar issues and so on but in my mind it seems easier to just end it.
I've been very manic throughout this all, cutting myself a lot working up the courage to get closer and closer to my wrists. I look like a freak in the summer now because my arms are all cut up. Not that I'm around people I really know so who cares. I keep using the excuse of a cat but this cat must have some wide claws and a vendetta against me because my arms starting To look likepretty gnarly.
I'm trying to figure out the best way to go. Hanging seems the easiest and cleanest way. While I've gotten closer and closer to my wrist I'm not sure I want to go that way. I guess if Suicide was easy I wouldn't be here.
any other suggestions? Not a big drug user but maybe if I can get my hands on opioids I can try to OD but again, inexperience May land me in the hospital with a very expensive bill.
anyway just putting that out there. Anyone have some suggestions of quick and painless?
sorry for the rant, just spewing it out there while I hang on between manic swings.