itsamadworld
i wanna die somewhere like up there
- Mar 15, 2020
- 410
FYI_ I mean the STORY is medium length! Geez...Okay, i've been posting lots lately, pardon that, but I had this thinking that I have to forgive my parents before I CBT. But I am not sure forgiveness is possible for humans, not even sure if it's necessary? if that makes any sense....
Okay, little backstory, becuz i need to detoxify my soul! My mother was arguably the one who i need to forgive more cuz she was more psychologically abusive (which hurts me more), but my dad is just more blatantly crazy, so it's more fun to talk about him! Okay, when i was about 4, my father was watching his offspring which consisted of my brother, my sister, and me, whilest my mother was at work. He also worked, they rotated. Anyhow, I 'accidentally' spilled my milk, I am sure i was squirming around, being annoying lil cunt, like kids often are....BUt, anyways, he fucking lost his shit, and he open hand wacked me on the side of my head and said, " YOu g-damn knuckle-head!" One of his favorite lines! Then he made me fold my hands, and bow my head, and pray for forgiveness! I think i could forgive him easier, if i could have just said to him, "LOOK Father, you were the one who spilled the milk first!!
And here I am! I know you regret it, because you told me! As I regret me! Look, I wish I never even existed to experience the nature of this milk!" I would just like to give him a little of my perspective on spilled milk and how I cry over it! ...just point out the hypocrisy.... Looks, like we both are in need of forgiveness.....or maybe forgiveness isn't possible or necessary , IDK?
Okay, little backstory, becuz i need to detoxify my soul! My mother was arguably the one who i need to forgive more cuz she was more psychologically abusive (which hurts me more), but my dad is just more blatantly crazy, so it's more fun to talk about him! Okay, when i was about 4, my father was watching his offspring which consisted of my brother, my sister, and me, whilest my mother was at work. He also worked, they rotated. Anyhow, I 'accidentally' spilled my milk, I am sure i was squirming around, being annoying lil cunt, like kids often are....BUt, anyways, he fucking lost his shit, and he open hand wacked me on the side of my head and said, " YOu g-damn knuckle-head!" One of his favorite lines! Then he made me fold my hands, and bow my head, and pray for forgiveness! I think i could forgive him easier, if i could have just said to him, "LOOK Father, you were the one who spilled the milk first!!
And here I am! I know you regret it, because you told me! As I regret me! Look, I wish I never even existed to experience the nature of this milk!" I would just like to give him a little of my perspective on spilled milk and how I cry over it! ...just point out the hypocrisy.... Looks, like we both are in need of forgiveness.....or maybe forgiveness isn't possible or necessary , IDK?
