Help not ready to ctb, but looking for advice

[jacarandash]

i have been frequenting this forum for a while now and recently decided to sign up. i have decided that i am not ready to ctb, however as an outlet i have been hurting myself. ive been using household items such as my razor (not just the blade - still on the head of the razor) and my facial razor, but as you can imagine it often doesn't bleed much if at all

what are some other items i can easily access that may be more efficient? i still live with my parents and don't want them finding out, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Viranamari]

i have been frequenting this forum for a while now and recently decided to sign up. i have decided that i am not ready to ctb, however as an outlet i have been hurting myself. ive been using household items such as my razor (not just the blade - still on the head of the razor) and my facial razor, but as you can imagine it often doesn't bleed much if at all

what are some other items i can easily access that may be more efficient? i still live with my parents and don't want them finding out, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Self-harm comes in many forms. The methods you are using will inevitably leave scratches and even scars all over your body. (Depending on what you use and how badly it was cut.) One way is the one you are using. You might even use a knife if you are comfortable enough. Personally, I think a penknife is a better fit. Another method is by pulling any hair you have. Whether it is your eyebrows or the hair on your head. Another method is simply punching or kicking yourself. And the last one is slightly more dangerous, it is to consume chemicals that are non-lethal. No matter how you self-harm, your parents will inevitably find out so I suggest being careful about the method you are using and how badly you do it. Hope this helps.

 

[jacarandash]

Self-harm comes in many forms. The methods you are using will inevitably leave scratches and even scars all over your body. (Depending on what you use and how badly it was cut.) One way is the one you are using. You might even use a knife if you are comfortable enough. Personally, I think a penknife is a better fit. Another method is by pulling any hair you have. Whether it is your eyebrows or the hair on your head. Another method is simply punching or kicking yourself. And the last one is slightly more dangerous, it is to consume chemicals that are non-lethal. No matter how you self-harm, your parents will inevitably find out so I suggest being careful about the method you are using and how badly you do it. Hope this helps.

thank you very much for your tips. i will see if i can find/purchase a small penknife, and i may also try punching myself as i wear many bruises on a regular basis anyway (no idea how, they just show up). thank you again!

 

[Electronic Music]

i have been frequenting this forum for a while now and recently decided to sign up. i have decided that i am not ready to ctb, however as an outlet i have been hurting myself. ive been using household items such as my razor (not just the blade - still on the head of the razor) and my facial razor, but as you can imagine it often doesn't bleed much if at all

what are some other items i can easily access that may be more efficient? i still live with my parents and don't want them finding out, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

For a while I used a broken ceramic bowl to hurt myself. Otherwise I had this old wooden table I'd punch since it would splinter and only had a bit of give to it. Truthfully idk how helpful this will be, but anything sharp will work if that is your intent. My parents didn't and still don't know any of my SH tendencies or want to ctb, but that'll depend on your closeness to them. In my experience it wasn't too difficult to hide, they didn't ask about much.

I find punching, kicking, and excessive bruising significantly more annoying to deal with along the day, though of course this depends on a person to person case. In my case having a halfway swollen hand got in the way too much for it to be considered efficient anymore. Hope this can somewhat help haha.

 

[rail.tracerr]

Repeatedly hitting my inner arms with the edge of plastic spoons until I left welts was my SH strategy in inpatient--far less likely to get noticed. I also just scratch my arms until they bleed, like an eraser and such, but that leaves a long burn that you can't explain away.

 

[jacarandash]

thank you all for sharing your methods! i'll be sure to try some and update as i go. thank you again

 

[lukas19]

Might be better to not scar your lower arms. You'll be emarrassed later and will have to wear a long sleeve top.
Maybe get single razor blades or a scalpel a lot less painful than a pen knife which tend to be blunt.

 

[Disaster]

I guess it's important to understand if you're doing it for the endorphins to get you through something (endorphins are the bodys own opiates), or to ctb. I'm not a fan of all the mess in between, like doing severe but non-lethal damage to oneself for ages. Do you really want to do it unnoticed, or do you hope someone will find out and help you?
May I ask your age?
Certainly I'm not a fan of things like self-poisoning mentioned here. I do understand how some endorphins can get one through the day, but I'm not a fan of destroying the body to show others how much you suffer.
It may be helpful to figure out why exactly you want to do it. For the endorphins? I for example used to cut to have some sort of proof for myself how much someone hurt me, when they hurt me with words only. I'm not a fan of such behavior, but well, I was much younger back then.
Now I have a skin picking disorder, and it's gross, but I guess people wouldn't be as upset if they noticed, as it has no association with any ctb method.

 

[HayBunny23]

When I was younger, I'd get cheap pencil sharpeners(you can get a big pack from the dollar tree) that had open face razors. Sharpeners for eye liner works too. You just unscrew them, cut, screw the blade back on. No one could figure out what I was using to harm myself.

 

[jacarandash]

Might be better to not scar your lower arms. You'll be emarrassed later and will have to wear a long sleeve top.
Maybe get single razor blades or a scalpel a lot less painful than a pen knife which tend to be blunt.

thank you for your recommendations, ill give them a go as well

I guess it's important to understand if you're doing it for the endorphins to get you through something (endorphins are the bodys own opiates), or to ctb. I'm not a fan of all the mess in between, like doing severe but non-lethal damage to oneself for ages. Do you really want to do it unnoticed, or do you hope someone will find out and help you?
May I ask your age?
Certainly I'm not a fan of things like self-poisoning mentioned here. I do understand how some endorphins can get one through the day, but I'm not a fan of destroying the body to show others how much you suffer.
It may be helpful to figure out why exactly you want to do it. For the endorphins? I for example used to cut to have some sort of proof for myself how much someone hurt me, when they hurt me with words only. I'm not a fan of such behavior, but well, I was much younger back then.
Now I have a skin picking disorder, and it's gross, but I guess people wouldn't be as upset if they noticed, as it has no association with any ctb method.

thank you for the concern. as for my age, id say im young compared to most people on this site - i still live with my parents and would be unable to move out any time soon (won't say specifically but im in the 18-21 range)

and the reason i do it, to put it bluntly, i don't know. i had done it often a few years back and have begun doing it as an impulse thing when i have a really bad day. the thing is that im conscious and i know what im doing yet am unable to stop myself. it's weird because ive been a lot happier than usual lately, albeit my anxiety still fucks me over quite often and out of the blue

once again i do appreciate your concern

When I was younger, I'd get cheap pencil sharpeners(you can get a big pack from the dollar tree) that had open face razors. Sharpeners for eye liner works too. You just unscrew them, cut, screw the blade back on. No one could figure out what I was using to harm myself.

ive tried this before, a few years ago, but my dumbass tried flushing the sharpener down the toilet since then ive been worried about doing the same thing and getting caught

 

[Caoine01]

and the reason i do it, to put it bluntly, i don't know. i had done it often a few years back and have begun doing it as an impulse thing when i have a really bad day. the thing is that im conscious and i know what im doing yet am unable to stop myself. it's weird because ive been a lot happier than usual lately, albeit my anxiety still fucks me over quite often and out of the blue

Thanks for this words, they sound familar to my soul.

 

[absolomonisgone]

Use belt beat buttocks and back no person will see there I do that feel very happy

 

[exhaustedanonymous]

very rough scrubber brush. get in the bathtub, either very hot or cold water, scrub until the skin turns pink. you can say you had a bad reaction to some kind of soap, but skin heals from friction like that very quickly, but it does hurt. this is a more "invisible" method, i did this while i was with a partner who would be able to see any marks i left

 

[jacarandash]

Thanks for this words, they sound familar to my soul.

im glad somebody is able to relate, makes me feel less alone
thanks again for the suggestions, will be taking them into consideration

 

[CringeNihilism]

Have you considered self blood letting? Im using this method for a year now, I feel high when I'm anemic lmao. it doesn't leave any marks

 

[jacarandash]

Have you considered self blood letting? Im using this method for a year now, I feel high when I'm anemic lmao. it doesn't leave any marks

ive actually never heard of this! i will look into it - thank you!

 

[Mister Skittles]

Have you ever talked to anyone about your self harm urges? Long term self harm is not healthy and I understand that it can be what keeps some people away from ctb. I would focus more on finding a substitute rather than a more efficient way to self harm, as self harm will just slowly put you into a toxic spiral. Your brain will begin to see violence as the only way to handle bad feelings and thoughts, harming your ability to healthily deal with negative emotions in the future.
Try slowly getting out of self harm. I'm not asking you to go cold turkey instantly, as that's not an effective solution and leaves people in a place of despair. Whenever you self harm, use less and less harmful objects or methods every time. (If you are using a blade now, progress down to something like poking yourself with a pencil, then toning it down to slapping yourself, then pinching as an example). It's a slower way to get out of self harm. I that time, you should try to find non harmful things that help relieve stress, anger or whatever else makes you want to self harm.
If theres someone you trust you should confide in them as well, perhaps they can help you as well. Seek help of a proffesional as well, as they probably have better knowledge on healthy ways to get out of self harm.

 

[jacarandash]

Have you ever talked to anyone about your self harm urges? Long term self harm is not healthy and I understand that it can be what keeps some people away from ctb. I would focus more on finding a substitute rather than a more efficient way to self harm, as self harm will just slowly put you into a toxic spiral. Your brain will begin to see violence as the only way to handle bad feelings and thoughts, harming your ability to healthily deal with negative emotions in the future.
Try slowly getting out of self harm. I'm not asking you to go cold turkey instantly, as that's not an effective solution and leaves people in a place of despair. Whenever you self harm, use less and less harmful objects or methods every time. (If you are using a blade now, progress down to something like poking yourself with a pencil, then toning it down to slapping yourself, then pinching as an example). It's a slower way to get out of self harm. I that time, you should try to find non harmful things that help relieve stress, anger or whatever else makes you want to self harm.
If theres someone you trust you should confide in them as well, perhaps they can help you as well. Seek help of a proffesional as well, as they probably have better knowledge on healthy ways to get out of self harm.

thank you for this — i have spoken to a few friends about it however never mention the severity or frequency of it so they don't really become concerned (e.g. i told one of them i had recently harmed myself within the last month but did not plan on continuing, which at the time was true). professional wise, i just had my last session with my current psychiatrist before i move onto a new one and do not mention it. i currently do not see a psychologist because my parents are under the impression that i am doing better and i would like to keep it that way.

for now i don't think i can or want to stop, however i will take what you said into consideration. thank you again, it is much appreciated

 

[LocalMistake]

rubber bands can do some damage if you repeatedly flick yourself with it

 

[Sadbrains]

I would not recommend cutting as a form of self harm because you'll be left with scars that can stay with you for the rest of your life but I also can't control you or tell you what is wrong. Just speaking from personal experience. If you really feel the need to though, Razor blades (Sold separate from any item that may use them) are VERY cheap. If cutting is your prefer method, I'd say go for razor blades because it's a smooth experience. Just be careful, as I see it doesn't seem you're doing it to an extreme, because cutting too deep or cutting in an exposed spot is a way for your parents to easily spot it. Lastly, if you're worried about your parents finding actual said item, just say they are replacement blades for a razor. Even buy a cheap razor to prove it, although if your parents are clueless so far, I think they'd assume that anyways. This excuse kept mines from finding anything for a good 3 years. Hope everything goes well for you! ^-^

 

[jacarandash]

I would not recommend cutting as a form of self harm because you'll be left with scars that can stay with you for the rest of your life but I also can't control you or tell you what is wrong. Just speaking from personal experience. If you really feel the need to though, Razor blades (Sold separate from any item that may use them) are VERY cheap. If cutting is your prefer method, I'd say go for razor blades because it's a smooth experience. Just be careful, as I see it doesn't seem you're doing it to an extreme, because cutting too deep or cutting in an exposed spot is a way for your parents to easily spot it. Lastly, if you're worried about your parents finding actual said item, just say they are replacement blades for a razor. Even buy a cheap razor to prove it, although if your parents are clueless so far, I think they'd assume that anyways. This excuse kept mines from finding anything for a good 3 years. Hope everything goes well for you! ^-^

thank you for the kind words and suggestions. i appreciate the concern but this is all i can do for myself to relieve the stress i endure, thank you again