Venting not mentally ill, in physical pain, severely traumatized or disabled. i still want to die.

[curiouscvnt]

Thinking of the pain that my loved ones would go thru in the event of my planned or unplanned death causes me emotional pain, but not enough to supercede the desire for death. I don't want to only live for them, either.
I feel very lonely because it's very difficult and not acceptable to talk about suicide with almost anyone personally important in my life, not merely because i want to end my life.
I don't even think my future is bleak or really full of suffering. I have more privilege professionally, financially, and socially than alot of other people.
I still want to die, even though i lack many of the circumstantial reasons that many people who also want to die have.
It's philosophical for me, in part. My existence is largely insignificant and that's not a bad thing; i have the self concept and autonomy to end my life if and when i see fit.
Anyone relate / have thoughts on this?

 

[ma0]

I can relate a lot. As far as I know, I don't have any underlying mental illnesses, besides maybe ADHD. My life up to this point has been largely privileged and I have quite a lot of friends who I get on well with.

Still, I feel an odd sense of loneliness, despite me being really good in social conversations. I genuinly don't understand it.

So I can totally understand how you feel, and I don't think there should be any gatekeeps for being suicidal. People have their own reasons that the media and others might not often talk about.