Not letting things get to me

[thinkkank]

I want to practice not letting people's anger and bullshit get to me. I interact with toxic people every week and I want to try and just let what they say bounce off me. I don't want their anger to stick to me and carry it throughout the day. After I meet them I tend to replay that negative interaction in my mind which causes an immense amount of stress, to the point where I can feel acid building up inside me. When I think about meeting them again in a few hours or days this also causes me to feel sick. Even when they aren't around me they still hurt me, or maybe I hurt myself by replaying the memory or thinking about our upcoming interaction. I don't want to give these memories or thoughts about the future power over me. I don't have much time left, and I don't want to spend this finite amount of time letting other people get me upset, or letting memories get me upset. I don't want people to have the power to ruin my day. I want to enjoy my finite time here regardless of their bullshit. I can't escape them, I wish I could, but the next best thing is to guard my mind against their bullshit

 

[GentleJerk]

That's great to hear, It takes a lot of mental strength to not get sucked in to negativity like a moth to a flame.

 

[fr0ggie]

Toxic people want you to feel as negative as they do themselves! I try to remember a lot of toxicity is just people projecting due to insecurity, or just trying to get a reaction because they are so bored. I hope you find the strength and resilience to not let these people get in your head.

 

[Sherri]

That's great to hear a bit of positivity here. Well done

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think one of the positives of winding down in this life is that you can more easily detach from ego and your own hurt feelings. If I were to die next week, I wouldn't care what people think or say about me. Unfortunately I'm not there yet, and still take things personally. But there's something seriously comforting about the idea of nothing being able to get to me once I'm a pile of ash.

 

[cambrai33]

I find you can never stop people being toxic but you can expect it and embrace it. I like to pity them, shower them in affection as it really puts them off guard.

They live for confrontation and angst so if you don't provide it back then you have now taken the initiative, it can be something really subtle like telling a twat at work that you like his jumper, typically they are I'll equipped to deal with a compliment and their toolset is not geared up for it

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I think one of the positives of winding down in this life is that you can more easily detach from ego and your own hurt feelings. If I were to die next week, I wouldn't care what people think or say about me. Unfortunately I'm not there yet, and still take things personally. But there's something seriously comforting about the idea of nothing being able to get to me once I'm a pile of ash.

Well said. This is exactly how I feel now that I accepted death. All my resentment, fear and anger is starting to slowly fade away.

 

[FuneralCry]

Finding ways to not let others affect you so much is one of the best things you can do. I think you just have to accept the fact that, that is the way that others are and people can be cruel for no good reason. I wish you the best.

 

[Dragon's Heart]

Strangely, I've found watching sports matches to be good practice for things like this. To not be attached to any outcome of the game and just let it be what it is. I don't always make it 'cause I'm very emotional but I keep trying.

 

[thinkkank]

the people who bother me are like teachers. they are teaching me how to be calm and happy. it's like a happiness dojo. in a dojo students spar in order to improve their techniques and become stronger. they get roughed up, but it is a part of the process of getting better at dealing with conflict. in this case a negative interaction is like a sparring session. their laughter, gossip, yelling and criticizing are like kicks, punches and throws. I use happiness techniques to counter their attacks. I remind myself that I only have to be around them for a little while and that I don't have to be angry because they are angry. each time I practice these techniques I get better and better. eventually i won't be bothered by anything they say or do because I can counter their negative attacks with positivity techniques.
I don't have to be a victim. I can defend myself against their negativity and each time I do I become better at it