Not forcing it.

[ForgottenTomb]

I have seen a lot of posts about people wanting to force themselves to ctb as they are desparate to leave existence. Are there any members here with a difference approach? I also suffer from the stinging feeling in my chest that ''I have to die, there is no other way'' and the longing is killing me. I have everything prepared as in location, tools, note but I do not have plans as in a date. When it is time for me to go, I will know at that moment. I am waiting for something to happen internally or externally, so the stinging can be big enough pull for me to make that final decision. But I will not force any opportunity, instead the opportunity will be releaved to me.

I strongly believe that if you try to force yourself to ctb, the chance is very high that you (or your body) will sabotage your chance at the last moment. Forcing as in telling yourself ''Come on, just do it! Just do it already!'' and trying to make that moment happen artificially instead of authentically where instead of planning a moment and trying to get yourself to do it, the moment appears to you and you take it.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I get what you mean. I have decided to join the 27 club when I was 14. It's been 7 fucking years and these thoughts of the exact date haven't changed, if anything, I had some time to think of how I'm going to do this. I am prepared and this is the best feeling. That peace when you even get a few years to think over if that's the best choice. It let's you accept the so called fate. If my time comes even sooner that 2030 like back to my failed attempt a few years ago, that's okay. Even if later, that's fine. That's what life is about. You never know.

 

[ForgottenTomb]

I get what you mean. I have decided to join the 27 club when I was 14. It's been 7 fucking years and these thoughts of the exact date haven't changed, if anything, I had some time to think of how I'm going to do this. I am prepared and this is the best feeling. That peace when you even get a few years to think over if that's the best choice. It let's you accept the so called fate. If my time comes even sooner that 2030 like back to my failed attempt a few years ago, that's okay. Even if later, that's fine. That's what life is about. You never know.

Christian Death profile picture, hell yeah! I feel like my self-destructive tendencies would be more justified if I was as talented and publicly adored like the 27-members. I feel like you have resigned yourself to fate, I can relate to that, because I find it hard to imagine my life ending in any other way however I didn't have years carefully thinking about how to handle my fate like you did, I tried to fight my destiny for years and wanted to make sure I don't end up that way. But seeing as how I am not going anywhere with my life, I think I will have to join the 27-club as a talentless nobody. But like you said, that's life, you never know! Hopefully I will turn things around by that point.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I hope that you'll find a way out of hell, one way or another. You might as well never know what life can bring! And yes, Rozz Williams as profile picture makes the whole experience on sasu better lol

 

[R_N]

Yeah I stopped planing a long time ago. I just live nowdays and when I die I die. Something might happen down the line that will push me to attempt again or by some miracle I accept my life as it is and everything that comes with it. But I am not meant to live a normal life. I can only end up in some kind of meditative state or smth. That is the only thing that makes sense to me since I don't find meaning in my habits and impulses or envy people around me anymore.