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blacksilence

New Member
May 13, 2019
3
Anyone else here not depressed but still suicidal? Don't get me wrong, I've gone through depression stages but I just can't deal with my life and there is no way to change things and I'm just ready to ctb.
 
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Sanguinius

Sanguinius

Chicken of ss
Aug 9, 2018
291
look up "rational suicide" maybe you recognize yourself.

I suffer definitly from depression, but depression was result from suicidality. I wanted to live so bad, but I saw no other options than to ctb for philosophical/idealistical reasons, and that made me badly depressive.
Now I'm less idealistic and stuff, so I think without the depression I could live more or less happily, but the depression won't go away anymore no matter which therapies and stuff I try, and for sure I don't want to live like it is now, so I'm suicidal because of depression.
lol.
shit happens.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I don't feel depressed, and I hesitate to call myself suicidal because it so strongly connotes depression. I know I'll commit suicide, mainly because of my personal convictions.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,921
Anyone else here not depressed but still suicidal? Don't get me wrong, I've gone through depression stages but I just can't deal with my life and there is no way to change things and I'm just ready to ctb.
I used to have depression from around the end of 13 to 20½. After that my depression went away but I have been suicidal since 14 and I am now 25 and don´t see myself as depressed anymore and I want to die mainly because of physical problems.

But some say I am depressed since I don´t feel happy anymore but I don´t feel anything not happiness, sadness, excitement I am just apathetic but maybe this is another form of depression? I just don´t see this as depression because as a teenager I would cry so many times each day and truly FEEL so emotionally sad and depressed I don´t feel anything anymore.
 
Maksimka Ai

Maksimka Ai

Broken
Apr 26, 2019
36
even when I smile and I have a good mood, the desire for suicide does not leave me .. I broke
 
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MAC10

MAC10

Member
Dec 14, 2018
22
Oh I'm severely depressed, it's dangerously clear. I score the highest on all depression tests and show every symptom in the book.
 
R

RedSalvation15

Member
Mar 13, 2019
38
I was diagnosed with depression, but I believe that's complete bullshit. Yes, I had those very, VERY dark moods and yes, I'm thinking about ending it every day (more like fantasizing about it), but still... depression is a whole different thing. I believe it's far worse than what I have.
Personally I just hate life. Getting up from bed, going to work, get home, going to bed, getting up from bed, going to work, wait until the weekend has passed by, just to begin everything from a new one.
Of course, there are things I would love to experience in life, but no matter what... I just can't get it right.

So, what causes me to think about suicide? Just the feeling of being a fuckup and not seeing any sense in life (or the point of getting up from bed).
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Well technically my diagnosis is manic depression so yea Im depressed
but
Right now Im tying rope to my doorknob and Im not even sad? I literally feel normal? Ive just been singing and went out to town an hour before. Im just so used to wanting to die
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
We dont need to feel depress for desiring death. Any reasons is valid.
 
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Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
even when I smile and I have a good mood, the desire for suicide does not leave me .. I broke
That's what it is. You can just give up, stop believing in yourself. Once that's happened, you're through
 
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Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
Same here.

I haven't experienced any extreme form of depression in years but suicide is on my mind merely as a contingency plan... an exit strategy to avoid a slow, painful death via starvation and hypothermia.
 

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