Venting Not built to be alive

[Renv1o_]

Its like theres a mold or a giant jigsaw puzzle that everyone somehow fits into, but I dont-
I'm really really exhausted. Every day feels like I'm playing a role, or playing a long game of trying to tick all the boxes of what people ask for me, when all I want to do is not be here.
It makes sense, since I'm autistic. I know a lot of neurodivergent people describe feeling similarly, but that often makes it feel as if I'm doomed to feel this way and struggle forever. I'm convinced I'm not made to be alive. I can't live up to the bare minimum of those around me- And I'm often not seen as "autistic enough" to need help. idk

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Exactly like me, I wouldn't be surprised if I had autism as well since it runs in the family. I hate neurotypicals with a passion and they hate for me sitting quietly and saying nothing. It's a funny world we live in.

 

[Renv1o_]

Exactly like me, I wouldn't be surprised if I had autism as well since it runs in the family. I hate neurotypicals with a passion and they hate for me sitting quietly and saying nothing. It's a funny world we live in.

it often is genetic, yeah :') people can be so horrible, I'm sorry

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see myself as not being meant for existing in every way possible, it must be tiring being trapped in that situation. But anyway best wishes.

 

[sserafim]

Its like theres a mold or a giant jigsaw puzzle that everyone somehow fits into, but I dont-
I'm really really exhausted. Every day feels like I'm playing a role, or playing a long game of trying to tick all the boxes of what people ask for me, when all I want to do is not be here.
It makes sense, since I'm autistic. I know a lot of neurodivergent people describe feeling similarly, but that often makes it feel as if I'm doomed to feel this way and struggle forever. I'm convinced I'm not made to be alive. I can't live up to the bare minimum of those around me- And I'm often not seen as "autistic enough" to need help. idk

Same, I feel the same way. It's like I'm not meant to be alive or fit into society. I look normal on the outside but have Asperger's/autism level 1, so no one even knows I have these issues. On top of that I have ADHD as well…for me it's like I'm a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

I totally understand the part about having to play a role. I honestly just feel like I'm acting in life, playing the part of what others expect for me. It's just so hard for me to do anything though due to executive dysfunction and undiagnosed depression, and my mom calls me "lazy". Everyone around me is successful and advancing in their careers or education and I'm just a shut-in ever since graduating college last year. Idk how some people can do so much and are so productive. The worst thing for me though is that I have to act and pretend to be a normal human being, when I honestly feel like an alien. I feel like I'm an imposter among normal people

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm autistic and also feel this way. I know it to be so in fact. It's a gloomy condition but if you are feeling doomed bear in mind there are plenty of autistic people who don't feel this way. They just don't find themselves here...