Not being accepted in SS community

[Rome Horseman]

*sighs* I was never accepted in no type of community, from church and the way to high school days of emo, and the funny thing is it wasn't a phase unlike others I'm still very emotional..


Anyway, I thought joining a community where people think like me, I'll would be accepted.. instead it made me feel even less apart of the world of suicide.. I blame myself I'm still a white belt when it comes to communication.. (hints: why I go to DBT group)

I don't know, I just thought I would shine here but I don't.. I'm just another random person among awesome and amazing people.. and it makes me feel even less important.. also, I know I'm not important I'm just figuratively speaking..

 

[a.n.kirillov]

*sighs* I was never accepted in no type of community, from church and the way to high school days off emo, and the funny thing is it bb wanted a phase unlike others I'm still very emotional..


Anyway, I thought joining a community where people think like me, I'll would be accepted.. instead it made me feel even less apart of the world of suicide.. I blame myself I'm still a white belt when it comes to communication.. (hints: why I go to DBT group)

I don't know, I just thought I would shine here but I don't.. I'm just another random person among awesome and amazing people.. and it makes me feel even less important.. also, I know I'm not important I'm just figuratively speaking..

where are all these awesome and amazing people you speak of? why do you think you aren't accepted here?

 

[Jean4]

*sighs* I was never accepted in no type of community, from church and the way to high school days off emo, and the funny thing is it bb wanted a phase unlike others I'm still very emotional..


Anyway, I thought joining a community where people think like me, I'll would be accepted.. instead it made me feel even less apart of the world of suicide.. I blame myself I'm still a white belt when it comes to communication.. (hints: why I go to DBT group)

I don't know, I just thought I would shine here but I don't.. I'm just another random person among awesome and amazing people.. and it makes me feel even less important.. also, I know I'm not important I'm just figuratively speaking..

I don't understand. Why do you think you are not accepted? Did someone tell you that?

 

[Rome Horseman]

Jean, Mr2005 ect.. I don't know what to say to people.. and when I do say something it hurt someone which push more people away

 

[Deleted member 1465]

*sighs* I was never accepted in no type of community, from church and the way to high school days off emo, and the funny thing is it bb wanted a phase unlike others I'm still very emotional..


Anyway, I thought joining a community where people think like me, I'll would be accepted.. instead it made me feel even less apart of the world of suicide.. I blame myself I'm still a white belt when it comes to communication.. (hints: why I go to DBT group)

I don't know, I just thought I would shine here but I don't.. I'm just another random person among awesome and amazing people.. and it makes me feel even less important.. also, I know I'm not important I'm just figuratively speaking..

You aren't alone in that. I've seen a few posts by new members saying they found it hard to be accepted and fit it.
It's no different than any other social group in that respect. It just takes time and perserverence to make a few connections.

 

[Rome Horseman]

You aren't alone in that. I've seen a few posts by new members saying they found it hard to be accepted and fit it.
It's no different than any other social group in that respect. It just takes time and perserverence to make a few connections.

Thank you.. that mean a lot. I don't have friends (ZERO) and I'm not in a lot of social groups..

But people can relate to me put me at ease... I love you for that thank you so much

 

[Jean4]

Jean, Mr2005 ect.. I don't know what to say to people.. and when I do say something it hurt someone which push more people away

It took me a while to find my voice here. I was quiet and not talking. It took a big shakeup in my life to pull me out of my shell. You just keep talking on posts. It will come. :)

 

[LittleJem]

Hello @Rome Horseman Great name.

I know what you mean. When I am low, which is most of the time, I feel like when I write I don't have much idea of other people or how to connect with them. I feel even weirder on this forum than I do in real life! In real life, face to face, I try and fake being human a little. Here, I am typing in the dark, sometimes or often just blurting stuff out.

What I do know is this is a gorgeous community with so many kind people and so much understanding too of the kind of things we are dealing with. So it's good to meet you - if you see me posting anything weird - I don't mean anything bad by it.

I know a few names, but when I do chat with people privately, I am so stilted and low it ends quickly. But I am okay with that I think. I keep looking up the symptoms of autism, but I only have a few of them.

I hope you do find connection and community here.

 

[Jean4]

Hello @Rome Horseman Great name.

I know what you mean. When I am low, which is most of the time, I feel like when I write I don't have much idea of other people or how to connect with them. I feel even weirder on this forum than I do in real life! In real life, face to face, I try and fake being human a little. Here, I am typing in the dark, sometimes or often just blurting stuff out.

What I do know is this is a gorgeous community with so many kind people and so much understanding too of the kind of things we are dealing with. So it's good to meet you - if you see me posting anything weird - I don't mean anything bad by it.

I know a few names, but when I do chat with people privately, I am so stilted and low it ends quickly. But I am okay with that I think. I keep looking up the symptoms of autism, but I only have a few of them.

I hope you do find connection and community here.

You know I love you!

 

[LittleJem]

Ps I'm really pleased you posted this as it gives us a chance to say hello to you.

You know I love you!

Do you know what @Jean4? I totally know that, even though we have never met. I feel your love. For me and for everyone here.

 

[Jean4]

Ps I'm really pleased you posted this as it gives us a chance to say hello to you.

Yup. Maybe more people should do that. It isn't OP's fault. Maybe people like me didn't know he was here!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Thank you.. that mean a lot. I don't have friends (ZERO) and I'm not in a lot of social groups..

But people can relate to me put me at ease... I love you for that thank you so much

I was the same when I joined. Just gotta keep talking. Most of what I say is crap it doesn't stop me

 

[TeenIdle]

I have it also difficult to make new friends, new relationships and socialize in general. When I try to mingle with people I remain quiet because I don't know what to say, my mind is blank and it mentally tires me to talk... That's because I have avoidant personality disorder/social anxiety and I'm also an introvert so it's very hard to live this way. Maybe you have this too.

 

[Jean4]

I was the same when I joined. Just gotta keep talking. Most of what I say is crap it doesn't stop me

Now you have me to harass you!

I have it also difficult to make new friends, new relationships and socialize in general. When I try to mingle with people I remain quiet because I don't know what to say, my mind is blank and it mentally tires me to talk... That's because I have avoidant personality disorder/social anxiety and I'm also an introvert so it's very hard to live this way. Maybe you have this too.

Well Welcome! I love your name!!! Maybe to make yourself feel more comfortable, start posting in some of the off topics posts. To gain your confidence. That's what I did. :)

 

[TeenIdle]

Now you have me to harass you!

Well Welcome! I love your name!!! Maybe to make yourself feel more comfortable, start posting in some of the off topics posts. To gain your confidence. That's what I did. :)

Thank you
Thank you for the advice, I'll try it

 

[Epsilon0]

I agree with what the other members have written.

Everything is difficult as first, but if you keep on writing, it will get easier.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[one4all]

@Rome Horseman Give it time. I've been here a month and i feel the same way. While it does seem like there are certain cliques here, everyone has there own place. Just be yourself and enjoy the people you can relate with.

P.S. Beware of Cecil

 

[Jean4]

@Rome Horseman Give it time. I've been here a month and i feel the same way. While it does seem like there are certain cliques here, everyone has there own place. Just be yourself and enjoy the people you can relate with.

P.S. Beware of Cecil

See that @jgm63 ... it's all about Cecil!!!!

 

[oopswronglife]

People aren't better than you or "amazing" because they post a lot or are getting more attention at the moment. There is always a person or few people in every group that demand more attention by behavior...or earn it by behavior. Most people are playing a game to TRY and fit when if they would just be real and kind the people worth having around you would gravitate your way. I've read the site since it's inception and the "in group" and "popular" or even "loud" people come and go for various reasons. None of the people here determine your worth. People here have the same defects and egos and faults that anyone out in the world does...and often severe mental illness or suffering on top of it. Empathy CAN be greater in those suffering but is as often as not the opposite.

I can't speak for anyone but myself...but acceptance is default here and irl until someone proves they don't deserve it from me. I don't accept or like someone more if they are in my whatever group...race, nationality, hobbies etc. I care how they behave. Some of the best people I have ever known have nothing at all in common with my life but empathy. I don't have the energy to focus on every post or every person and never intentionally exclude someone who isn't being a giant asshat. If someone is malicious or terrible I will avoid them, but even those people aren't worthless or invalid...

One of the best things you can do for yourself in life is to actively work on
not caring" about approval and tribal nonsense. That doesn't mean do and say whatever you want and everyone else is wrong. There are basic decencies and behaviors that everyone wants but less commonly give. Be the best core human being you can....and try to ignore all the other superficial bullshit because it doesn't matter at all at the end.

 

[Mr2005]

Jean, Mr2005 ect.. I don't know what to say to people.. and when I do say something it hurt someone which push more people away

I'm actually flattered you'd care that much what I thought. I'm not sure there's a better example of "I'm not who you think I am, I'm not who I think I am, I'm who you think I think you think I am" than this. Not sure I got that completely right but the point being that's just your perception. I've felt like a black sheep here loads

 

[waterbottleman]

*sighs* I was never accepted in no type of community, from church and the way to high school days off emo, and the funny thing is it bb wanted a phase unlike others I'm still very emotional..


Anyway, I thought joining a community where people think like me, I'll would be accepted.. instead it made me feel even less apart of the world of suicide.. I blame myself I'm still a white belt when it comes to communication.. (hints: why I go to DBT group)

I don't know, I just thought I would shine here but I don't.. I'm just another random person among awesome and amazing people.. and it makes me feel even less important.. also, I know I'm not important I'm just figuratively speaking..

Keep posting and it may get better. I don't think you're unwelcome here.

Also I know it may be annoying to hear this, but to a certain extent your feelings may be all in your head and not a reflection of what people actually think of you. I'm guilty of this myself.

I sometimes wonder if some users on here get annoyed by me because I think I have a tendency of talking about myself too much. No one on here has actually said that to me so it could all be in my head, but I do think I could focus on other people more.

 

[oopswronglife]

Also I know it may be annoying to hear this, but to a certain extent your feelings may be all in your head and not a reflection of what people actually think of you. I'm guilty of this myself.

This is one of those things that is both disappointing and freeing. The idea that most people don't think about you AT ALL. Most fear of judgement, obsession about something we said or did etc, exists only in OUR heads. Others literally don't ever care about it. It can feel bad that people don't care...most people are entirely self-centered, but it can also free you from wasting energy on such worries.

 

[Eren]

I am very sorry that you felt this way, I understand that feeling of not fitting anywhere.

If you need to talk to a friend you can write me a PM

 

[clandestine]

I am very sorry that you felt this way, I understand that feeling of not fitting anywhere.

If you need to talk to a friend you can write me a PM

Same here for anyone who needs to talk

 

[DoNotLet2]

Relatable! I'm not accepted and tolerated here at all too!
I don't know if it makes you feel better when you know you're not alone.

 

[one4all]

Relatable! I'm not accepted and tolerated here at all too!

You are not tolerated here.
Could you elaborate on the statement please?

 

[nerve]

I don't really fit in anywhere either. It sucks. I've tried a lot of different forums and eventually just forget about them because I get tired of talking to myself and seeing other people make friends. There's no feedback loop. I've stuck around here for longer than I usually do, but I'm still not expecting to actually get to know anyone. I don't know. This kind of thing happens so often, it's comforting to think it's because I'm just not very special and people don't notice me. It's better than getting bitter and hating everyone.

Maybe I'll never find somewhere to belong, but I guess I can cope with that as I go.

 

[Quarky00]

I never understood why people need to be accepted .

I'm not saying that in a dismissive way , but what will you get out of it ? Cheap superficial affection ? Accept yourself , pardon the cliche , which is of course absurd of me to suggest here -- as most had been abused by others , by our mental illness , or simply hit too many times by life's circumstances . What am I, a cheap help line? So , there's actually no point in my post , and perhaps that's the point of this post . It doesn't really matter , and you are accepted here , even if you feel you don't (not to contradict your feelings!)

I will however answer my cynical rhetorical question above: you do get a sense of belonging and community and support and acceptance and being listened to . And you form bonds . Even those that say they still don't feel accepted (or even don't like things in SS) -- feel that sense of community and belonging . I'm not sure in our situations and conditions we will even feel accepted . "I'm suicidal and I feel very much accepted" -- that doesn't play well lol .

You can pretty much write anything . I think most of us are anxious or careful , despite the acceptance , lots of "I wrote this post 200 times" etc , even for veterans . Many of the members who feel they "don't belong" or "not sure what to say" (not only on this thread- SS had this discussion before) are the best posters here


* I had no idea where I was going with this post , and still not sure where it went lol ..

 

[DoNotLet2]

You are not tolerated here.
Could you elaborate on the statement please?

nope, I would get lynched.

 

[one4all]

nope, I would get lynched.

WOW that would not be pretty. I would assume thats not your way to CTB then.