Venting Not a goodbye thread

[Life_and_Death]

Its more of a venting thread because i "have to" before my therapist appointment in 13hrs.

I cant talk to her about it. People have tried to make me feel better about it but no. Idc what they say, what they think or how they feel. I cant keep living like this.

Idk how, when or even if i will considering but i have to kill myself before my appointment.

Like i said, not a goodbye thread so please dont treat it as such.

 

[Bullit]

Can't you cancel it??

 

[Life_and_Death]

Can't you cancel it??

My appointment? Yeah, but im being exempted and shes currently seeing if she can get me exempted for couples therapy too (she doesnt know about the break up yet) so i already feel like im using her enough.

 

[suisuiforum]

Yeah it always sucks when mental healthcare makes the situation worse, when their intended purpose is to do the opposite. Hope you can get through it without too much distress.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yeah it always sucks when mental healthcare makes the situation worse, when their intended purpose is to do the opposite. Hope you can get through it without too much distress.

Mental healthcare isnt the problem and at no point did i say it was. The only thing i stated in the OP is that i cant talk to her about it and at no point did i say why i cant. This comment seems to be made completely based on assumption, which was a wrong assumption btw.

 

[suisuiforum]

Oh sorry for assuming, I hope everything goes well for you

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh sorry for assuming, I hope everything goes well for you

i....dont know. im not even sure what "well" would be.....

 

[Midgardsorm]

Hi. Can you just not talk about some things? Tell her you prefer to keep it to yourself right now and you will talk about it next time.
Or cancel, exempted or not. If you feel that you cant talk to her now. I guess it will be better.

You're in a difficult position. People will try to help, but sometimes we just wanna keep to ourselves, at least for the moment. Maybe she will understand that.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Hi. Can you just not talk about some things? Tell her you prefer to keep it to yourself right now and you will talk about it next time.
Or cancel, exempted or not. If you feel that you can talk to her now. I guess it will be better.

You're in a difficult position. People will try to help, but sometimes we just wanna keep to ourselves, at least for the moment. Maybe she will understand that.

My appointment? Yeah, but im being exempted and shes currently seeing if she can get me exempted for couples therapy too (she doesnt know about the break up yet) so i already feel like im using her enough.

i cant think of what else i could talk to her about

 

[Midgardsorm]

Yeah. And she will ask about it. Kinda difficult here, I would say that maybe you could talk about and be done with it, but I know how it is.
I used to omit a lot of things from my therapist. There were a few times that we just look at each other without saying nothing. She probably didn't like it very much, but that's all I could do on that moment.

Maybe she will know what to talk about. That would be good I guess.
I hope everything works out. We are here for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

im being pulled in 2 right now. i shouldnt have messaged anyone.
my ex and i were talking about hangout and i was just doing fine thinking of it as a dream that wouldnt happen, but now im kinda rethinking things.
and then my friend is unintentionally saying things that are reminding me why i have to die.


After i had finished typing above, i wondered if maybe the problem can be temporary. I see a possiblity for it to maybe change over time......the only problem is if i want to wait on a maybe.
Either way i ended up telling my friend that id go to therapy. (I knew i added the i dont know if i will part for a reason. It concerns me that im kinda saddened by this lol)

 

[Midgardsorm]

The worst part of talking with our friends it's when they talk about things that reminds us why we are here. It happens everytime, I'm sorry.

How did it go with the therapist?

 

[Life_and_Death]

How did it go with the therapist?

Just woke up to get ready for it now. I still have 3hrs (plus 1hr for the appointment) since you seem interested ill update when i get back

 

[Life_and_Death]

The worst part of talking with our friends it's when they talk about things that reminds us why we are here. It happens everytime, I'm sorry.

How did it go with the therapist?

I told her as much of everything as i could even that i was going to commit suicide before coming 'here'. We're trying a more specialized therapy while still being with her for therapy as well.

Im not sure im feeling it though

 

[Life_and_Death]

@suisuiforum
I want to say im sorry. My response to you was a little harsh, its just that for me its common for people to make assumptions and not listen to me so when i saw basically the same thing in your comment it sparked that response from me as kind of like a protective thing. Im sorry, you clearly didnt mean anything like that

 

[Midgardsorm]

I guess it's okay. Talking about suicide is never good, especially in therapy, but if she doesn't said anything about psych wards or something, then it's good.

I hope everything works out. I'll be rooting for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I guess it's okay. Talking about suicide is never good, especially in therapy, but if she doesn't said anything about psych wards or something, then it's good.

I hope everything works out. I'll be rooting for you.

Oh no, while i already knew the laws, her and i had a good conversation about it before i said anything. And if it didnt go that way i was going to make it very clear that if she really wanted to help me, telling others wouldnt be in her or mine best interest.

 

[suisuiforum]

@suisuiforum
I want to say im sorry. My response to you was a little harsh, its just that for me its common for people to make assumptions and not listen to me so when i saw basically the same thing in your comment it sparked that response from me as kind of like a protective thing. Im sorry, you clearly didnt mean anything like that

Don't worry about it, I understand that you're in a stressful situation <3