T
truthseeker
Student
- Sep 9, 2019
- 123
Even now it's hard for me to reach out, I'm just so used to going through life alone. Trying to handle whatever comes my way solo. Not that I've had a choice but as my health has deteriorated to a point where quality of life is no longer even remotely satisfactory, I won't to make a few final efforts at discussing lighter topics than ctb. I had interests that meant something to me that have been pushed to the back of the 'fridge by failing health, depression and the desire to leave a world that I've never felt a part of or understand. Maybe between a rock and a hard place at this point.
I used to be a cinephile, a film fan. It was close to being a passion but I'm not sure what that even is really. Most all things related to movies interested me. I feel like I've seen a few thousand or more in my lifetime. I mention it because it was one way that I could feel somewhat connected to the world at large. Or as close as I wished to get. Now, I'm just numb. I seem to have lost that edge.
Long story shortened, I would like to msg./chat/PM with those that can relate to anything I've said. Even if not. I would think some people here might feel similar so I'm putting it out there, even if I feel naked and vulnerable. I fear being judged or rejected. I just feel the need to try before it's too late. Well, I'm just rambling now..
I used to be a cinephile, a film fan. It was close to being a passion but I'm not sure what that even is really. Most all things related to movies interested me. I feel like I've seen a few thousand or more in my lifetime. I mention it because it was one way that I could feel somewhat connected to the world at large. Or as close as I wished to get. Now, I'm just numb. I seem to have lost that edge.
Long story shortened, I would like to msg./chat/PM with those that can relate to anything I've said. Even if not. I would think some people here might feel similar so I'm putting it out there, even if I feel naked and vulnerable. I fear being judged or rejected. I just feel the need to try before it's too late. Well, I'm just rambling now..