I have to make sure this doesn't fail, if I fail I won't forgive myself and nobody will forgive me :)
So many reasons too many to list, I'll give you a few though:
- Super depressed and exhausted, but not ready college. How the fuck am I supposed to get good grades when I can't function? My academics/grades are literally the only good/worthy thing about me.
- I'm also tired of spending hours thinking about dying and ending my life. I almost feel like it's my destiny for the lack of a better word.
- And lastly to prevent myself from hurting others, I'm afraid of being an evil and horrible person, so why shouldn't I speed up the process?
Why do you think you'll hurt others? Have you hurt others in the past or have current plans to hurt people? I feel much like you regarding depression, I have suicide on my mind all day every day while I'm sleeping is the only time I get reprieve. I don't want to kill anyone, much less myself but in my mind it's the only way for me to be free of such thoughts and feelings since I've tried "getting better". Maybe you can finish college and think if you want to die then?
