Venting Nobody gives a shit about me

[redisblue]

It feels like nobody gives a shit about me. Nobody makes the time to talk to me, to spend time with me or more importantly, ask if I'm okay. I have a friend who dumps all of his problems and feelings onto me without asking, and when I tried to set boundaries, he didn't respect them. He kept venting and venting non stop and at one point I said to myself to just suck it up. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I wasn't doing great, and ever since he has started to ignore me a lot and doesn't make any effort to speak to me unless it's about him or his problems. I feel like people just want me there to listen to their problems because they know I don't judge. People take advantage of the fact I will listen and not tell a single soul, because who the fuck do I have to tell? I grew up being bullied and barely having friends - currently I have a few friends but are they really friends? They don't make time for me. Only one person knows about my depression, but he seems cold towards me now ever since I fell into a depressive episode. I'm so tired. I try so hard for everybody else but nobody tries for me. I'm always the one trying to make plans, I'm always the one there for others. It's not fair. All I want is a real friend, somebody who cares and who wants to spend time with me. I'm a generally quiet person as well, I make sure not to say something stupid to make myself seem unlikeable. I don't understand. Why is it like this for me? I just need a friend. I can't take this shit. So much has happened to me and all I ask for is for somebody to give a shit. It's not even just 'friends' or 'family' who don't care, it's therapists. They could care less. I've tried different therapists but it's always the same - I never feel better. It doesn't work for me. The first time I had to get a therapist was when my family found out I was self-harming. Did any of the doctors or my therapist take me seriously? No. When I tried to tell my family about how I felt, they also didn't take me seriously. Maybe if a friend asked how I was and I told them, they probably wouldn't take me seriously either. Maybe it's just that I want to feel like someone cares. I love my family, and my friends are a good laugh, but I'm sick and tired of being the one there for everybody else when nobody will be there for me. I went through a lot of different loops and weird tangents there, my apologies.

 

[necrolatry]

I can relate to this a lot, at least when you are talking about your friend(s). I am in a similar spot where I have people who I suspect take advantage of me & my willingness to always be there / help, but who never make an attempt to return anything. I don't mind if they aren't able to directly help me, things are complicated after all, but just ignoring me until they need help themselves is legitimately harmful. And, similarly to you, never even ask how things are for me in the first place.
I am currently considering cutting them out of my life, but it is difficult because they still mean a lot to me. Given what you have mentioned I would advise you to do the same, don't let people take advantage of you.

If you need somebody to talk to, feel free to hit me up in PMs.

 

[mengeles_trash]

Our entire culture has been hijacked by the same people behind the Holocaust, so this heartless, hellish misery isn't surprising. You're not the only one living through it.

I wish I had an answer to this. I'm one of the focal point victims, so I got the same thing, plus neverending violence and ... demented high-tech torture since I was a kid... I should've died a long time ago, and I wish I did, because that's how it turns out in the end!

Now let's all enjoy some unimaginably evil corporate brainwashing media. Of course, it all tells people to come and make my life a living hell. The flipside is the living hell everyone else has to live through, too, becuse you think these fuckers give a damn? Even about their own grandkids? Hardly.

Look at the fucking apocalypse from climate change just around the corner. It's just breathtakingly awful.

 

[redisblue]

I can relate to this a lot, at least when you are talking about your friend(s). I am in a similar spot where I have people who I suspect take advantage of me & my willingness to always be there / help, but who never make an attempt to return anything. I don't mind if they aren't able to directly help me, things are complicated after all, but just ignoring me until they need help themselves is legitimately harmful. And, similarly to you, never even ask how things are for me in the first place.
I am currently considering cutting them out of my life, but it is difficult because they still mean a lot to me. Given what you have mentioned I would advise you to do the same, don't let people take advantage of you.

If you need somebody to talk to, feel free to hit me up in PMs.

I'm so sorry that you're going through the same thing. This makes me feel a lot less alone, so thank you for sharing :) I do want to cut these people out of my life, it's just like you said, they mean a lot to me and some of them are in my college class and I don't want things to be awkward - when and if I get a chance though, I will 100% try cut them off. Lastly, thank you, I really do appreciate that, and the same goes for you :D

 

[epic]

Some people are selfish af. Why are you suicidal?

 

[redisblue]

Some people are selfish af. be Why are you suicidal?

Oh tell me about it smh. And in response to your question - a lot. I suffer from depression which most likely stemmed from trauma which has been occurring throughout my entire life. I never get a break from it all. It's gotten to a point where I'm just so tired and don't want to be here anymore. I feel like there's no point in me being here and that I'm just a waste of space. Everything is too much and all I ever want to do is sleep and not wake up. What about you?

 

[Rational man]

I understand too because I felt like that . My family were self absorbed with their own self importance. Unfortunately, i believe the world has become more brutal and people's mindset is about taking and taking so if someone close to you is not comfortable.with you, are they really worth knowing?. By the same way, we shouldn't expect anything in return for our giving unconditionally but we can choose who to be with.

 

[FuneralCry]

People really are so self centred after all and only care about what directly affects themselves and it's just the way that things are. Of course it's all very unfair and you cannot really trust and rely on people and very often other people will just create more suffering so I believe that it's best to be alone.

 

[redisblue]

I understand too because I felt like that . My family were self absorbed with their own self importance. Unfortunately, i believe the world has become more brutal and people's mindset is about taking and taking so if someone close to you is not comfortable.with you, are they really worth knowing?. By the same way, we shouldn't expect anything in return for our giving unconditionally but we can choose who to be with.

I'm sorry you understand how I feel. Also, yeah, the mindsets of people these days have become utterly fucked; I get where you're coming from with your last point btw, I will never expect anything from others, I just wish people took me a little bit more seriously when I try and reach out for help. Thank you for sharing :)

People really are so self centred after all and only care about what directly affects themselves and it's just the way that things are. Of course it's all very unfair and you cannot really trust and rely on people and very often other people will just create more suffering so I believe that it's best to be alone.

I agree! Like the person above said, people's mindsets and actions have become so selfish and it feels like a lot of people only think about themselves and not others. Also yeah, being alone is great, it's absolutely better than being around people all the time, but for me sometimes the loneliness gets too much, even with my cat about. On that note, animals are way better than people Thank you for sharing btw :)