W
WelcomingPain
Member
- Oct 21, 2019
- 90
I haven't posted on here in a long time, but I never needed to. I found reasons to live and forgot all about this site. But it all came crashing down. My parents are getting divorced, I was cheated on, and I've lost so many friends. I tried everything to feel better, but I just keep falling down again. Nobody cares about my situation whatsoever. I feel so alone in all of this and nobody is even trying to be understanding. I just don't really wanna be here anymore. I went from having so much to so little in such a short amount of time, and it's not fair. I was in a relationship with someone I loved, I had loads of friends, I was getting ready to attend university, and I was so hopeful. I hate that I failed my previous suicide attempts. I'm much more unhappy than I was back when I did attempt suicide. I was hardly depressed then, but I just had to survive and get fucked over by everyone who claimed to love me. Nobody really cares. I've planned a bloody death because I want everyone to see how much I was bleeding inside. I'm thinking I'll go to the house of each person who hurt me most, and slit my wrists right outside their doors. The more a person has hurt me, the more blood there will be. My last stop will be my ex's house, because he's done everything in his power to stop me from being happy, despite telling me he would always be there for me. I'll slit my throat and die in his driveway. I'll probably have a note or something. And I'll temporarily bandage myself up so I can get to every destination. It would take a long time and would be pretty drawn out, but I think it would be a unique thing to do. All of this so I can get people to understand how badly they hurt me. Don't even tell me I'm crazy, because I know I am. I've been in a psychotic state since my life fell apart. The depression got so bad, it manifested into one big psychotic episode. Do tell me what you think of my plan though. I came up with the idea just now, and I actually think it's probably the best plan I've ever made.