Help No possibility to ctb

[axelaxx]

I really can't wait anymore, my life is a big fucking mess, I have so many problems that can never be solved, I don't want to be here anymore, I can't endure being alive, waking up every morning only to realise I have to go through another awful, painful, miserable day. I really want to end it all, but now, because of the quarantine, I can't. My parents are constantly home, I can't order CN or anything else because they would notice, I wanted to secretely buy a rope in a store near my school and do the partial hanging, but now this is not possible because I dont have an excuse to get out of the house as my parents do all the shopping. I really need something that either will help me end it all in my current situation or get me through this quarantine with less pain so i can ctb after. I would really appreciate some help

 

[Rockman]

You can order sn to post office.

 

[axelaxx]

You can order sn to post office.

Yes, but I have no possibility to get out of the house as my parents do all the shopping, as I said earlier, so I dont really have any excuse to go anywhere.

 

[Spacing Out]

Could you get out under the presumption you're going for a walk? Something like, "I'm going stir crazy, I need to just go for a walk but I promise to stay away from people," to ease their minds. Or are you too far?

 

[axelaxx]

Could you get out under the presumption you're going for a walk? Something like, "I'm going stir crazy, I need to just go for a walk but I promise to stay away from people," to ease their minds. Or are you too far?

Well, there are strict quarantine laws in my country right now, and a walk is not an accepted reason to get out of house.

 

[Spacing Out]

Well, there are strict quarantine laws in my country right now, and a walk is not an accepted reason to get out of house.

Gotcha. I must admit, that's a tough one. I'm sorry to hear it. If I think of anything, I'll let you know, but I'm not sure.

 

[axelaxx]

Gotcha. I must admit, that's a tough one. I'm sorry to hear it. If I think of anything, I'll let you know, but I'm not sure.

Hey, thank you anyway, if there is no possibility to end this pain, at least maybe there can be something to make the pain easier to endure while the pandemic is a thing?

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Have you considered a therapist to help you? Maybe your life will change, and things won't be so bad.

 

[axelaxx]

Have you considered a therapist to help you? Maybe your life will change, and things won't be so bad.

For now I am not financially independent, I wanted to go to a therapist, but then the covid crap started, and everything went to hell. I don't have any money to pay for therapy now and my parents actually think depression is a made-up illness, so I can't get financial support from them, and there is no one else besides them. I am not sure if anything can ever get better. I have problems that just can't be solved. Never. I was born with them, I have to bear them until the end of my life. I will never free myself, there is no one who can change that. I can't wait, every day of my life just hurts so much, the best solution is to free myself from all of this once and forever

 

[Hopeindeath!]

For now I am not financially independent, I wanted to go to a therapist, but then the covid crap started, and everything went to hell. I don't have any money to pay for therapy now and my parents actually think depression is a made-up illness, so I can't get financial support from them, and there is no one else besides them. I am not sure if anything can ever get better. I have problems that just can't be solved. Never. I was born with them, I have to bear them until the end of my life. I will never free myself, there is no one who can change that. I can't wait, every day of my life just hurts so much, the best solution is to free myself from all of this once and forever

I am truly sorry you are in this situation. I am surprised your parents don't even believe you. They should be taking what you've told them seriously. I know it's much worse because, they don't believe you. I wish I could make it better for you.