no personality

[starrvingstar]

i no longer have any interests or personality it is a bit sad for the people around me, i cant make new friends unless we base our friendship on our mental illness. i miss having something to offer.

i dont even have motivations that are not superficial. i spend all of my time focused on starving myself, rotting away in my sorrows its so miserable for myself and i miss my friends.

 

[vacuisme]

feel u

 

[Archer]

yeah I get that, and it also sucks trying to make conversation with people sometimes because I can't think of anything to say to keep the convo going. everytime someone tries to talk to me the only thing I can add to the conversation is "yeah" or just some bullshit, It's so hard for me to actually express myself to people.

 

[starrvingstar]

yeah I get that, and it also sucks trying to make conversation with people sometimes because I can't think of anything to say to keep the convo going. everytime someone tries to talk to me the only thing I can add to the conversation is "yeah" or just some bullshit, It's so hard for me to actually express myself to people.

why do you feel like you cant express yourself? say how you really feel, it will help you make connections!

 

[orca87]

i no longer have any interests or personality it is a bit sad for the people around me, i cant make new friends unless we base our friendship on our mental illness. i miss having something to offer.

i dont even have motivation.

You started a few threads here and it is fascinating to see how I can relate to almost all of them.

I do think you (and everyone here) have much to offer. It is just covered by the cancer of our souls, that fucking mental illness stuff. Connections are made from shared experiences. But something is stopping most of us here from experiencing anything else than pain

 

[starrvingstar]

You started a few threads here and it is fascinating to see how I can relate to almost all of them.

I do think you (and everyone here) have much to offer. It is just covered by the cancer of our souls, that fucking mental illness stuff. Connections are made from shared experiences. But something is stopping most of us here from experiencing anything else than pain

we are all more alike thank we think, in our thoughts and our illness. i agree that we are all truly lose in our illness, i do think my suffering makes me less two dimensional and allows me to relate more to others.

 

[Archer]

why do you feel like you cant express yourself? say how you really feel, it will help you make connections!

To be completely honest I do not know why it is so hard. I want to be able to socialize and have friends but I'm just so dull there's nothing I do that is interesting or productive and just like you I don't have much of a personality. If I had to take one good guess as to why I'm so terrible at talking to people about my feelings is probably because of how I was treated living with my parents I had no say in things and whenever I tried to talk to them about my feelings or if I was upset about something I would always get cut off by my mother and she would always tell me that I'm wrong and she's right so I just never bothered to talk to them anymore knowing it doesn't get me anywhere and I know not everyone in the world is my mother and not everyone is going to treat me like that but after living with that for 17 years straight with nothing else because she is pretty much the only one I could talk to as my dad never really spoke to me and I had no siblings. It has made it hard for me to talk to others even though they aren't like her.

Sometimes I think that maybe it's my fault my life is like this maybe I should of just been a better son maybe I might be able to have a better relationship with her although having a narcissistic parent is rough I could of made it work better. It feels so wrong to blame everything on my parents it just doesn't feel right it makes me feel so hateful, I know some of my Issues has to be my fault.

I'm glad I can say these things to people without any worry of repercussions.

 

[starrvingstar]

To be completely honest I do not know why it is so hard. I want to be able to socialize and have friends but I'm just so dull there's nothing I do that is interesting or productive and just like you I don't have much of a personality. If I had to take one good guess as to why I'm so terrible at talking to people about my feelings is probably because of how I was treated living with my parents I had no say in things and whenever I tried to talk to them about my feelings or if I was upset about something I would always get cut off by my mother and she would always tell me that I'm wrong and she's right so I just never bothered to talk to them anymore knowing it doesn't get me anywhere and I know not everyone in the world is my mother and not everyone is going to treat me like that but after living with that for 17 years straight with nothing else because she is pretty much the only one I could talk to as my dad never really spoke to me and I had no siblings. It has made it hard for me to talk to others even though they aren't like her.

Sometimes I think that maybe it's my fault my life is like this maybe I should of just been a better son maybe I might be able to have a better relationship with her although having a narcissistic parent is rough I could of made it work better. It feels so wrong to blame everything on my parents it just doesn't feel right it makes me feel so hateful, I know some of my Issues has to be my fault.

I'm glad I can say these things to people without any worry of repercussions.

im glad you can share your feelings comfortably.

i promise there is nothing you could have done to make your mother treat you differently unfortunately. its not wrong of you to blame them either i feel, they are the parents and they could have approached parenting differently and put better efforts.

 

[Rumi]

I can relate to this post. I have no ambitions, interests, passions, hobbies or even friends. My life has consisted in drifting aimlessly and purusing meaningless pleasures for the past four years. No sign of it getting better either, unless I wake up tomorrow with the work ethic that is necessary to create a meaningful life.

 

[Archness]

It's sad. Since things got terrible, a part of me outright disintegrated (metaphorically!). At least it was mostly a mask.

 

[tieiwi]

i no longer have any interests or personality it is a bit sad for the people around me, i cant make new friends unless we base our friendship on our mental illness. i miss having something to offer.

i dont even have motivations that are not superficial. i spend all of my time focused on starving myself, rotting away in my sorrows its so miserable for myself and i miss my friends.

I relate to you, I'm sorry. This has to be the worst feeling in the world. I too fake a lot of stuff about myself because if people saw the truth about me it would just make them uncomfortable. I'm wishing peace for you.

 

[starrvingstar]

I relate to you, I'm sorry. This has to be the worst feeling in the world. I too fake a lot of stuff about myself because if people saw the truth about me it would just make them uncomfortable. I'm wishing peace for you.

your truth would not make anyone uncomfortable, try your best to be authentic people might surprise you. hope you find that same peace too man.

 

[ylenol]

I was just in tiktok. And I noticed how those people in live talk properly. And I just now realize I might have speech problems. Those conversations look so enjoyable. But I think I can never talk like those people . When I speak I look like a retard. I forget what to say. Stutter. Can't form simple sentences. I think I unlocked another 100th deficiency that makes me hate myself. I think those outgoing fluent people live a completely different version of life than I do. How it's easy for them to hold conversations. Flirt. And have romantic partners. I now doubt if I ever experienced life. Happiness. I truly believe that a life of an introvert is nothing like life of an extrovert -socially normal person-. And I don't know how to get over this. (I know some people say introverts aren't like that. That's just how I describe myself. Someone retarded in the head).I just hate my personality. It's not something attractive. I like forming relationships with people and talking alot and now I realize why I never could did that or experience the joy of talking unconditionally to someone .
This just makes me want to forget about myself and ctb even more.
I now realize that this is genetic and it's the common theme in my family
I honestly now think a retarded handicapped person like me is better off. Nothing admirable about me. And I don't think my parents or siblings like me either.
And I think this is part of why I see life as meaningless and boring . Cause I am like this genetically.
(I can't vent and say properly what I think cause I don't fkn know english).

You'll regain your ability to properly hold conversations and speak without seeming slow just by having more oral social interactions, nothing practice won't fix back, I doubt it's genetic but rather environmental. However the skull emoji spam does make you look retarded.

 

[crunchycuticles]

i no longer have any interests or personality it is a bit sad for the people around me, i cant make new friends unless we base our friendship on our mental illness. i miss having something to offer.

i dont even have motivations that are not superficial. i spend all of my time focused on starving myself, rotting away in my sorrows its so miserable for myself and i miss my friends.

I completely feel you, It's so hard for me to make friends or express myself