Venting No one cares how i feel

[Ailashan]

I am feeling so down right now. Everytime i think i will feel better my mother starts to insult me, scream or complain about how disappointed she is in me as it just happened today. The same mother that laughed at me getting bullied and that only had interest in my because i was a man with HIP (high intellectual potential). Trying to communicate any of my issues will only result in her making fun of me in front of her friends while they are high on drugs. I can't trust my father either. He thinks that beating me until i piss myself when i was ten was making me a "tough man" the girlfriend i used to have two years ago, the person i thought i could trust and love cheated on my and tried to spread rumors about me. Professionals? The last time i tried out was to tell professionals about my bullying resulted in them promising to help me but ended up doing nothing. I have two good friends i want to tell one of them that i plan on killing myself but i am scared that i get bettrayed again. Its pretty late right now. I have to wake up and go to school in a couple of hours but sleeping with all the memories of my traumas is gonna take a few hours and i won't feel better anyways. It has been very hard for me to cope recently and all that is really starting to suffocate me. I know i won't be able to focus in class and i feel like its slowly becoming impossible for me to act like im fine in front of people. I will feel so bad and tired when i wake up, but no one knows that. They just expect me to go to school and get good grades like i used to. I want to scream at them to care about me. Hope someone here will do so.

 

[higherthanthesun]

Take it one moment at a time. I make myself tea when I feel like this and read a book, or something to get my mind off of it.

I dropped out of school because I could no longer focus or find any care to do any of the work, I admire you for continuing school when feeling so low.

I wish you all the best <3

 

[Ailashan]

Take it one moment at a time. I make myself tea when I feel like this and read a book, or something to get my mind off of it.

I dropped out of school because I could no longer focus or find any care to do any of the work, I admire you for continuing school when feeling so low.

I wish you all the best <3

Thank you very much i appreciate it ^-^. I have nothing that helps me to forget except video games and they just got taken away from me. To be honest every time i do anything else than sleeping, playing or training i am feeling depressed and suicidal. My grades are terrible despite me having tried everything including additional classes. Theres no way out of this, i just keep going so my peers don't hate me even more but i've lost all hope for succeeding. I am so broken anyways, at least i am determined to die now. I will try drinking tea. Thanks for caring though it means a lot to me

 

[Heading to Darkness]

theres a lot of us on here who do care about you and will respect whatever direction you take Everyone on here will have suffered too,we understand
Good luck

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you are going through, it's horrible how many humans are so cruel and just create more suffering. But anyway best wishes.