Venting No motivation to improve myself

[monkeGoOohOohAhhAhh]

I've been diagnosed for depression and anxiety for 3 years now and I've felt like I'm going in circles.

At first, I'd feel like I'm improving, then the next day or so I'm back at square one. I never felt like I made progress with myself, and I still feel like nothing's improving. Despite my therapy sessions and meds that I take, I keep falling in the same spot I once was 3 years ago. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I keep thinking if its the meds I take that makes me lack the motivation to do things or I'm really a lazy man. I have been making no effort on being able to complete tasks or responsibilities since I can't bring myself to find the motivation to do it. So many experiences that I have been in have caused me to stay in this cycle of mine. I'm always told that it's a long journey to improve my mental health, but I feel like my setbacks make it longer. If all comes to worst, I might as well consider CTB.

I hope that I can find a way to end this problem of mine that has flipped my life upside down.

 

[warm dreams]

Three years ago. How familiar. I have been suffering from similar symptoms for as long as you. In the country where I come from, there has been a trend that since 2020, the number of people suffering from mental illness has increased. Excuse me for my conspiracy theories, but it all comes down to the fact that this is possibly the influence of the coronavirus. Before this pandemic, I was a normal person...

I wish you all the best!

 

[foxgirl]

I'm sorry to hear it's been such a rollercoaster. Been dealing with it myself, on and off, for about 10 years now. I was put on meds, stopped taking them, started taking them again briefly, and stopped about 2 years ago. I feel like all the back and forth I drove myself through made me even worse off. You aren't lazy, you're depressed, and it's your brain that's fighting with you.. I know exactly how you feel and how the violent internal battle goes. I hope things turn out better for you. If you ever want to talk my inbox is always open.