No more YouTube- instead acid reflux and saying 'yeah' and 'ugh huh' again and again

[Alwaysbadtime]

I can't go on Youtube anymore. Yesterday I tried to watch something and a sad animal bit/commercial was on...there was a kitten meowing in a cage and bad shit they were saying...I had to x out. I can't handle this. A crazy sad donkey bit/commercial as well as an owl bit has rocked me. I can't take it.

I can't even finish the Aaron Hernandez documentary I was sort of enjoying because my bf lost it and got pissed I enjoy dark shit and he hated the stupid generalizations people were making about what drove Aaron to do this. I will try and put it on, but shit with the remote etc is confusing.

He got back from his 2.5 day party bender with his pals and was shitty yesterday and shitty today about me not cleaning etc etc. Then a while later starts talking....about movies, people going to space....etc etc. I am just supposed to get over the aggression and talking shittily and loudly to me. I said when he was doing it- oh so you can say whatever you want to me, but I can't say anything to you. I went to clean my car because it is disgusting and he saw it yesterday on the inside. Washing and vacuuming my car in the middle of the day on a Monday, thinking about how when my mom was my age she was being uber productive, challenged and supported in a lucrative career...and I have nothing and yet on TOP of this she labels me mentally not well. FUCKING BITCH.

Stress gives me acid reflux. Music is playing. The Rolling Stones....I hate them. So entitled, no struggle...rich and fucking entertained. FUCK THEM.

I told my bf in a text that the tv shows he watches are a trigger. I told him in person Family Guy on everyday is a major trigger....and he is gone having fun and comes back and immediately turns on....FAMILY GUY. Then Rick and Morty until he falls asleep.

I'm so fucking pissed about all of this. Of course I wanted things differently. I'm stuck. I told one of my parents this in a text etc etc and didn't get a fucking text back. It's like: gee thanks for producing me only to be a fucking adult struggling and feeling like shit every second and don't bother responding....enjoy your fucking productive and entertained existence.

I have 0 to do and I don't want to hear from any fucking bragging trolls. IDGAF who you are and what you are doing.

So, no more YouTube...I've got to plan my escape. I can't stand knowing about all the others suffering including animals.

 

[Midgardsorm]

See if you can get some Omeprazole, it will help with your acid reflux. Just be careful, I use that shit everyday, even knowing that I should not.

I have to say, your hate for Rolling Stones, seems like you're having trouble with rich successful people...
Yeah.. same here. For me, I can't help but feel jealous. There is this famous YouTuber here in my country that I used to watch and just last week he posted a video of his new home, he is now, living in Florida.
I just can't watch his videos anymore. Shouldn't let jealousy take over me, but it's easier said than done.
Don't know if it's the same for you.

Anyway I'm sorry for what is happening in your life.
I hope you escape and things work out.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

See if you can get some Omeprazole, it will help with your acid reflux. Just be careful, I use that shit everyday, even knowing that I should not.

I have to say, your hate for Rolling Stones, seems like you're having trouble with rich successful people...
Yeah.. same here. For me, I can't help but feel jealous. There is this famous YouTuber here in my country that I used to watch and just last week he posted a video of his new home, he is now, living in Florida.
I just can't watch his videos anymore. Shouldn't let jealousy take over me, but it's easier said than done.
Don't know if it's the same for you.

Anyway I'm sorry for what is happening in your life.
I hope you escape and things work out.

Thanks for your reply. Yes I am hella jealous of virtually everyone except for homeless people. Rich rockstars piss me off. Them having fun and getting paid...getting a performance high and then just living the life...I've had truly horrible and satanic dirty jobs. Yeah, I hate when people brag on YouTube about their houses etc. One rapper did that...I forgot his name but folks broke in and stole his shit and shot him fatally.

I think it's only normal to feel envious of safe happy people.

I will think about getting Omeprazole. I wish I could get some benzos but motherfucking drs here are horrible evil bitches.

I really hate listening to: Tom Petty...and really everything...except for key shit I like...I read a lot of horror stories that have happened to people...it sucks knowing about that shit, but it can be interesting to look into weirdos who throw their lives away in a fit of rage or whatever.

I like how you said 'escape and things work out'...I hope that too.

 

[Kattt]

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