it's also invalidating.
the reason people say it is to make you feel less alone and feel better about your problems. yet, it does quite the opposite. unfortunately, those who say it lack both awareness and a strong degree of empathy, as well as an inadequate understanding of how someone suicidal and on the edge could be feeling.
it treats each of our problems and individual suffering as the same. however, each person is unique and yes, we may feel the same emotions, but the intensity, degree to which it is painful to us, and how we process it differs to the next person.
how you and I feel about certain issues that cause us pain and suffering is different. there is a way that I feel about certain things that you've never felt strongly about and as a result could never understand how I feel. likewise, there's certain stuff that I do not feel as strongly about, which has plagued your life experiences, and as a result I could never truly understand what you're going through either.
I think this is crucial to acknowledge and understand. it's honestly basic empathy. I also feel like this response is what someone spewing toxic positivity would say as well. when someone says something like this to you, chances are they weren't truly listening to a word you were saying and cannot understand what you are trying to communicate.
when we're at our lowest, what we feel first above anything is our pain and suffering. many of us will struggle to look beyond what we're going through and feel for what others are dealing with because of how intense our own feelings are. a response like this, albeit coming from a good place, from someone that is well-intentioned, makes us feel even more lonely.
for me, when someone tells me something like this, I recognize that this person likely isn't listening, which is fine, whatever. in addition, this person may not have the capacity to deal with and handle me venting about my personal problems. and that's okay. It's important to recognize so you don't exhaust your energy in the wrong place.
unfortunately, I feel this way about most people and have yet to come across someone who I feel would want to shoulder the weight of my problems, try to understand them, and be there for me each step of the way.
for me, it's best to keep things to myself. i feel safer that way.
