no interest in anything

[pumpkins334234]

Life is a lot easier when I'm working or in school, to me that counts as a huge distraction; I can basically just go through the motions and do my job without thinking much about anything. I'm on summer break now (I'm a teacher so I get time off with my students), and I'm literally going insane, with nothing to distract me I just have to sit and think all day. I can't be bothered to hang out with anyone and most of my friends are abroad right now anyways, I live with my boyfriend but he's pretty much busy 24/7.

usually I would try and use this time to engage in some of my hobbies but literally nothing is enjoyable to me anymore. i have no interest in anything, to the point where it's painful. i always felt like when others were developing their personality i was being brainwashed, now that i've grown up and everyone else has their "interests" and i have nothing, it's very alienating.

i don't enjoy anything, no movies, tv shows, games. even the hobbies that i used to have feel more like chores then anything, like i'm just doing them to prove that i'm still a person. i genuinely don't feel like a person anymore. i feel like i have nothing that i can point to as being "my personality". i feel more like an empty shell of a person pretending to like stuff that other people like so they will like me too.

does anyone else experience this complete lack of interest in anything? or does anyone have any hobbies or interesting things they like to do to keep themselves occupied?

 

[tobeornot]

I do. I have no interest in anything I used to do. All I want to do is sleep and stay in my room.

 

[bandoscii]

I am so sorry. I had the same thing a few months ago, feeling insane because literally nothing could bring me any emotion. Only become more frustrated when I tried enjoying anything and (surprise) didn't feel anything. And sadly that I can recommend is time really. I think being distracted with school really helped me, also holotropic meditations helped too. And try not to force yourself to enjoy anything, just take your time. Try to find some voluntary work or part-time jobs to not be so focused on these thoughts of not feeling anything. I hope I could help and wish the best for you.

 

[card1nal]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling to find interest in things! I've experienced periods of this and it is so fucking agonizing. Anhedonia is one of the more unbearable symptoms of depression and was one of my biggest reasons for wanting to ctb during my worst depressive/post-psychotic episode. Do you have access to a healthcare provider who could prescribe you any type of antidepressant? When I was experiencing bad anhedonia, I sort of just waited it out, but I'm sure antidepressants would be an effective way to tackle it.

If medication isn't an option or you just don't want to, then I'd say you sort of just have to wait it out (like I did). No saying how long it could take to move past it, unfortunately! It could help to do a dopamine detox, which is also something I've tried. Essentially, limit or cut out dopamine-overloading activities like social media scrolling or video games and replace them with more healthy activities like going on walks, reading, or engaging in a hobby. The point of it is to push through the urge to stop what you're doing and going to something easier but less rewarding, like scrolling. I know it probably sounds stupid (I thought it was), and there is still a chance it may not work for you, but just a suggestion!

Also, sorry for the long post, but another thing I found helpful was writing. Doesn't have to be anything in particular. It's just a nice way to engage your brain in something, and it can sometimes give insights into how you're thinking and feeling when it can be hard to unravel everything in your head. I usually spend at least an hour writing, whether that be in a journal, writing a letter to a friend, working on a story, doing research and writing up papers, etc.

 

[waterworks]

That's depression alright

 

[pumpkins334234]

I do. I have no interest in anything I used to do. All I want to do is sleep and stay in my room.

yeah, i basically just sleep as much as i can so i don't have to be awake

I am so sorry. I had the same thing a few months ago, feeling insane because literally nothing could bring me any emotion. Only become more frustrated when I tried enjoying anything and (surprise) didn't feel anything. And sadly that I can recommend is time really. I think being distracted with school really helped me, also holotropic meditations helped too. And try not to force yourself to enjoy anything, just take your time. Try to find some voluntary work or part-time jobs to not be so focused on these thoughts of not feeling anything. I hope I could help and wish the best for you.

thank you for your reply:)
i'll definitely try those things, i want to start volunteering more so i can actually feel useful and like i'm doing something useful. i guess i just have to keep going through the motions until i can maybe feel okay again. like you said it's just time:)

That's depression alright

yeppers

 

[prototypian]

I find that sleep is the only thing I care about and when I'm doing it I don't have to think about how crappy everything is. So that's the one thing I have interest in doing. The rest of the stuff that I think of is not good for me

 

[pumpkins334234]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling to find interest in things! I've experienced periods of this and it is so fucking agonizing. Anhedonia is one of the more unbearable symptoms of depression and was one of my biggest reasons for wanting to ctb during my worst depressive/post-psychotic episode. Do you have access to a healthcare provider who could prescribe you any type of antidepressant? When I was experiencing bad anhedonia, I sort of just waited it out, but I'm sure antidepressants would be an effective way to tackle it.

If medication isn't an option or you just don't want to, then I'd say you sort of just have to wait it out (like I did). No saying how long it could take to move past it, unfortunately! It could help to do a dopamine detox, which is also something I've tried. Essentially, limit or cut out dopamine-overloading activities like social media scrolling or video games and replace them with more healthy activities like going on walks, reading, or engaging in a hobby. The point of it is to push through the urge to stop what you're doing and going to something easier but less rewarding, like scrolling. I know it probably sounds stupid (I thought it was), and there is still a chance it may not work for you, but just a suggestion!

Also, sorry for the long post, but another thing I found helpful was writing. Doesn't have to be anything in particular. It's just a nice way to engage your brain in something, and it can sometimes give insights into how you're thinking and feeling when it can be hard to unravel everything in your head. I usually spend at least an hour writing, whether that be in a journal, writing a letter to a friend, working on a story, doing research and writing up papers, etc.

hi, thank you so much for your reply :)

i should really go back on antidepressants, i went off them because i felt normal again (but clearly that was a mistake haha), it wasn't very smart of me to stop taking the medication because it was working. i think a combination of anti depressants and waiting it out might work.

i'm in a place in my life where i know i'm supposed to take it easy and relax, because i won't have so much free time on my hands, but i'm incapable of doing that i guess. i think i just need to wait it out, summer won't last forever and i can go back to work. i definitely should stop being on my phone all the time, i think that's a really good suggestion!! i have to force myself to do that i think.

don't apologise for the long post, it's so kind and really touched my heart that someone would bother typing out such a long reply to me complaining haha. i've been trying to write more and it is enjoyable, i think i just need to do something productive with my time so i feel better.
thank you so so much, i genuinely will take all your advice.

I find that sleep is the only thing I care about and when I'm doing it I don't have to think about how crappy everything is. So that's the one thing I have interest in doing. The rest of the stuff that I think of is not good for me

exactly. i just want to sleep all day so i don't have to be awake and have my thoughts run in the same endless horrible circles.

I am so sorry. I had the same thing a few months ago, feeling insane because literally nothing could bring me any emotion. Only become more frustrated when I tried enjoying anything and (surprise) didn't feel anything. And sadly that I can recommend is time really. I think being distracted with school really helped me, also holotropic meditations helped too. And try not to force yourself to enjoy anything, just take your time. Try to find some voluntary work or part-time jobs to not be so focused on these thoughts of not feeling anything. I hope I could help and wish the best for you.

also i like your pfp lol

 

[3/4Dead]

Have you considered doing something low stress but engaging during the summer? Since teaching is kind of already in your muscle memory (figuratively) maybe tutoring every week or something could help bridge the gap between work and summer break.

I'm going through a rough bout of depression right now and the lack of motivation + anhedonia combo is killing me, so I totally feel you. I'm struggling to drag myself to work, and I'm keeping all of the things I enjoy as close as possible (moving my record player closer to my bed, making sure my easel is nearby with all of my paint setup, my guitar, amp and heaphones all nearby and plugged in) so that I don't have to do as much work when that slight motivation hits.

If you do have anything you know you /do/ actually enjoy, even if small, something that helps for me is to say you'll give it five minutes. If it's a movie, say "I'll just turn it on for the first five minutes, I can turn it off after," and usually five minutes turns into ten, ten turns into the whole movie. I've found some of my favorite hobbies during depression boredom and anhedonia. It's so much easier to do something new just to pass the time and accidently find out it's your favorite thing ever (I experienced this with the show survivor). Wishing you the same luck!

 

[pumpkins334234]

Have you considered doing something low stress but engaging during the summer? Since teaching is kind of already in your muscle memory (figuratively) maybe tutoring every week or something could help bridge the gap between work and summer break.

I'm going through a rough bout of depression right now and the lack of motivation + anhedonia combo is killing me, so I totally feel you. I'm struggling to drag myself to work, and I'm keeping all of the things I enjoy as close as possible (moving my record player closer to my bed, making sure my easel is nearby with all of my paint setup, my guitar, amp and heaphones all nearby and plugged in) so that I don't have to do as much work when that slight motivation hits.

If you do have anything you know you /do/ actually enjoy, even if small, something that helps for me is to say you'll give it five minutes. If it's a movie, say "I'll just turn it on for the first five minutes, I can turn it off after," and usually five minutes turns into ten, ten turns into the whole movie. I've found some of my favorite hobbies during depression boredom and anhedonia. It's so much easier to do something new just to pass the time and accidently find out it's your favorite thing ever (I experienced this with the show survivor). Wishing you the same luck!

haha, i have been tutoring recently as per your advice and it's actually helping me feel a lot better.

yeah, when i was working it was a huge struggle to get out of bed, so now i can barely even leave my bed anymore.
i think you're right, i've been trying to just brute force it and do things i usually enjoy even if i absolutely don't want to. it usually sucks but i feel better at the end of it lol. i love survivor btw and thank you for the response :)

 

[Yoñlü×]

I really feel the same thing, I had hobbies as chess, animes, movies etc, all of this now don't make me feel happy, stay so bored

 

[3/4Dead]

haha, i have been tutoring recently as per your advice and it's actually helping me feel a lot better.

yeah, when i was working it was a huge struggle to get out of bed, so now i can barely even leave my bed anymore.
i think you're right, i've been trying to just brute force it and do things i usually enjoy even if i absolutely don't want to. it usually sucks but i feel better at the end of it lol. i love survivor btw and thank you for the response :)

This totally made my day. Super glad that's helping! Hope things continue to improve.

 

[anopenwound]

Everything I ever loved lost its magic when I went through my first depressive episode. Ever since then I pushed myself to do something that would benefit my circumstances. I kept on thinking, when my situation changes, I will inevitably get better. I will get support, I will get friends, I will find love, I will get a chance to live my life.

It's been 10 years. I got all these things right now and I still want to die.

I keep on pushing out of habit. Maybe a miracle will happen. But it never does. I get so little out of all my efforts. I'm still right here, after all this time. I could pin it on something specific, my current problems, but let's be honest, it has nothing to do with anything that might have happened. I'm mentally ill. My brain can't experience the same pleasures others can.

It's nobody's fault. I don't feel much joy anymore. I go on just to tell myself that at least I'm trying. I'll keep on doing it until the very end.

 

[incorporeal]

i don't understand. you have no interest in anything but you want to start volunteering/socializing? someone who is uninterested in life would not even type about it. i'm not trying to challenge u but a lot of people confuse anhedonia with uninterest.

 

[pumpkins334234]

i don't understand. you have no interest in anything but you want to start volunteering/socializing? someone who is uninterested in life would not even type about it. i'm not trying to challenge u but a lot of people confuse anhedonia with uninterest.

i have no interest in anything but it's a feeling i don't like and want to get rid of, so i want to do things that will make me feel interest again (i e volunteering) . i also didn't mention anhedonia in my original post at all, just a lack of interest. and most people feel better after venting about the problems in their life, at least i do

Everything I ever loved lost its magic when I went through my first depressive episode. Ever since then I pushed myself to do something that would benefit my circumstances. I kept on thinking, when my situation changes, I will inevitably get better. I will get support, I will get friends, I will find love, I will get a chance to live my life.

It's been 10 years. I got all these things right now and I still want to die.

I keep on pushing out of habit. Maybe a miracle will happen. But it never does. I get so little out of all my efforts. I'm still right here, after all this time. I could pin it on something specific, my current problems, but let's be honest, it has nothing to do with anything that might have happened. I'm mentally ill. My brain can't experience the same pleasures others can.

It's nobody's fault. I don't feel much joy anymore. I go on just to tell myself that at least I'm trying. I'll keep on doing it until the very end.

yeah that's the thing. i should be happy as currently not a lot of bad things are happening and i have friends and loved ones around me.

i don't know if you feel this way, but i feel just overall tiredness, pushing myself to do things is the only way i get them done and i experience little to no joy, sometimes i get so tired i feel like i'm going to just collapse.

i'm glad that you are still trying, and i hope that one day life regains that spark for you.

I really feel the same thing, I had hobbies as chess, animes, movies etc, all of this now don't make me feel happy, stay so bored

its a shit feeling when nothing brings you joy anymore. i hope we both start liking stuff again

 

[3/4Dead]

someone who is uninterested in life would not even type about it.

after a while of living with any feeling (including anhedonia) its cathartic to talk about it, to get it off your chest, especially in a forum for talking about struggles with life. not really understanding this point if I'm honest.

 

[pumpkins334234]

after a while of living with any feeling (including anhedonia) its cathartic to talk about it, to get it off your chest, especially in a forum for talking about struggles with life. not really understanding this point if I'm honest.

exactly lol, i can't really talk about this anywhere else? it's a little silly, i think talking about your problems is widely accepted to help at least a little