Method No hunger, no sleep, feeling like i am at the end

[nosoul]

I have suffered from mental illness for years now, pushed away friends, tried to treat my depression with dmt, and it has dramatically altered my ability to eat and to sleep.

I have 2 dogs which I feel I need to care for but my energy and concentration is making it more difficult.

I don't have access to anything, but I wish to end it and place my dogs with loving families.

I feel no emotion like a zombie and I just have no joy throughout my day.

My dogs will miss me and that hurts, but I can't stand living this Grey life.

If I could eat or sleep regularly I feel I would have another chance, but I'm unable to close my eyes to shut my brain and rest.

Any ideas how to ctb, leaving dogs in a safe space.

I'm really struggling, is meeting a partner possible.

I don't know what to do:(

I already feel dead and slowly getting worse.

 

[Microwave]

Joy is over-rated. Aim for a slow stabilisation of contentment.

 

[nosoul]

I am riddled with panic attacks when trying to rest, I hear your point, just feel so drained and against a wall. I will try to keep moving forward but no energy from lack of appetite and sleep

 

[Foxes]

Firstly, welcome to the site

I'm so sorry for all of the emotional pain you're currently experiencing. I relate deeply to everything you've said in your post as I'm dealing with similar thoughts and feelings. I also have two dogs that I love dearly and are on my mind throughout all of this.

When you've posted enough, your PMs will unlock and you can reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.

I have suffered from mental illness for years now, pushed away friends, tried to treat my depression with dmt, and it has dramatically altered my ability to eat and to sleep.

Would you mind expanding on this? I have used psychedelics to try to treat my depression and actually have a DMT vape pen that I've been scared to try again. The first time I did, it was a very small amount but it made me feel an overwhelming sense of impending doom and I quickly backed out of it.

 

[nosoul]

Yes it is frightening, I extracted my own, went through about half a gram a week for 6 months. Initially it was incredible, snapped me out of depression, but suddenly in the last 10 days or so, I had a feeling that all my emotions were gone and I had lost my appetite signals completely. Insomnia as well, I went 4 days without sleep, then took some klonopin to get a few hours per night for the past few days.

I never met any entities or anything, I used to mix with cannabis to use to enhance musical performance. Now I can't even play.

Tbh, it was my deep sadness, troubled living situation ( got kicked out of apartment) that I just kept blasting crystal dmt.

It turned me into a zombie I feel, even the love for my dogs though still there has been numbed.

I feel no joy in anything I do, I fear I fried my brain and a slow decline is in my future. The last 10 days has been hell as I've taken no naps because my brain just doesn't shut down.

I unwittingly destroyed myself I fear by doing something to sleep and hunger signals in my body.

Seems to be safe using infrequently but I was using all day everyday.

I wanted to use psychedelics to heal my nerves from past bipolar meds, but have gone too far.

I have few friends online, none in real life that will help and I feel trapped.

Yeah everything prior to blasting, I would be fearful but foolishly I thought one needed the courage and kept going.

Big mistake because you can always trip vs lsd shrooms. Thanks for the offer to chat.

 

[Foxes]

It turned me into a zombie I feel, even the love for my dogs though still there has been numbed.

I feel no joy in anything I do, I fear I fried my brain and a slow decline is in my future. The last 10 days has been hell as I've taken no naps because my brain just doesn't shut down.

Oh man. I'm so sorry. I wish I could offer you some solid advice or words of comfort to help you get through this. I know what you're feeling right now is crushing and unbearable.

Have you been laying off the DMT for now? You definitely need to take a break from it. Give your body and your brain some time to rest.

I was always told by others to treat my psychedelics as a kind of holy medicine, not to be messed with or abused. Hang in there. We're all here for you.

 

[Conker]

Yes it is frightening, I extracted my own, went through about half a gram a week for 6 months. Initially it was incredible, snapped me out of depression, but suddenly in the last 10 days or so, I had a feeling that all my emotions were gone and I had lost my appetite signals completely. Insomnia as well, I went 4 days without sleep, then took some klonopin to get a few hours per night for the past few days.

I never met any entities or anything, I used to mix with cannabis to use to enhance musical performance. Now I can't even play.

Tbh, it was my deep sadness, troubled living situation ( got kicked out of apartment) that I just kept blasting crystal dmt.

It turned me into a zombie I feel, even the love for my dogs though still there has been numbed.

I feel no joy in anything I do, I fear I fried my brain and a slow decline is in my future. The last 10 days has been hell as I've taken no naps because my brain just doesn't shut down.

I unwittingly destroyed myself I fear by doing something to sleep and hunger signals in my body.

Seems to be safe using infrequently but I was using all day everyday.

I wanted to use psychedelics to heal my nerves from past bipolar meds, but have gone too far.

I have few friends online, none in real life that will help and I feel trapped.

Yeah everything prior to blasting, I would be fearful but foolishly I thought one needed the courage and kept going.

Big mistake because you can always trip vs lsd shrooms. Thanks for the offer to chat.

It was the pharma meds & geoengineering which caused this...
I'm aware this isn't of much comfort, but at least now you know that its this system which ruins us more often times than not.

None of us have witnessed a deep blue sky in the past 7 years so is it any surprise we feel this way?
This one tidbit goes out to all of those aviation geeks.


"If you have been watching (I have), you will notice that there is virtually no view of any country anywhere that has unlimited visibility anymore. I have seen searching for years and have never seen one. It is astonishing that no one is talking about this.

The lack of unlimited visibility should not surprise us who know what is going on. Those who are older and have flown have noticed the haze that encircles the entire Earth. Back in the 70's and 80's, when flying, you could barely see the transparent atmosphere around the Earth. Now, however, it's a bright, radiating, metallic-like, haze-filled fog that never goes away.

It's astounding how these pattern-changes are right before the eyes of the world, yet, no one talks about them. Nevertheless, I point this out so, perhaps, we can begin to bring this up to friends and family to help them see what is being intentionally done to this planet.

The haze gradually appeared over the past 20 years during the same time period widespread spraying began. The haze is not water vapor. It is intentionally released, toxic metals and other substances, that have been mass-injected into the atmosphere around the entire Earth."

(video) Mercury Destroying Your Kidneys, Destroying Your Lives, Vaccine Injury

OrbisVitae.com Alternative News, Information, Public Forums.

orbisvitae.com

Daily Log of Chemtrail Spray Events: Log #27: March 2023

GlobalSkywatch.com Chemtrail/Geoengineering News Forums Conferences.

globalskywatch.com

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you are going through, of course it's true that existing certainly can be torture so I hope that you find freedom from the situation that you are trapped in.

 

[nosoul]

Oh man. I'm so sorry. I wish I could offer you some solid advice or words of comfort to help you get through this. I know what you're feeling right now is crushing and unbearable.

Have you been laying off the DMT for now? You definitely need to take a break from it. Give your body and your brain some time to rest.

I was always told by others to treat my psychedelics as a kind of holy medicine, not to be messed with or abused. Hang in there. We're all here for you.

Yes, I stopped dmt prob about 10 or so days ago, I just been barely able to sleep or eat anything and been declining. If I gave my dogs away, I'd be keen on ctb, but trying to hang on. I have 1 energetic dog that I can't drain his energy as I feel I have a limited battery. This is the worst hell I could have imagined, and Noone understands. When I try to rest and nap, I feel peace but then get panic attacks. I don't know how much longer I can go, eating like 30% of what I used to, getting a few klonopin related hours of sleep a night. I'm forgetful of little things already. I'm in a hotel which makes it worse.

That sounds really horrible what you are going through, of course it's true that existing certainly can be torture so I hope that you find freedom from the situation that you are trapped in.

Yes it is dreadful, even unable to distract myself with entertainment. It's more depressing because I don't even react to jokes or other emotions.

I guess 1 step at a time. Gonna force feed myself food. Feed and walk dogs. But I'm dead tired.

 

[Foxes]

I guess 1 step at a time. Gonna force feed myself food. Feed and walk dogs. But I'm dead tired.

Lack of sleep and nutrition has always made me 1000x worse emotionally (oh, Adderall...) but I agree. One step at a time. Maybe grab a nutritional shake or something that's easier to get down rather than needing to sit there and chew through an entire meal.

My guess is that the folks over at r/dmt might have better experience with what you're going through as well, just a thought. I haven't seen too many people bring up psychedelics on here.

 

[nosoul]

Lack of sleep and nutrition has always made me 1000x worse emotionally (oh, Adderall...) but I agree. One step at a time. Maybe grab a nutritional shake or something that's easier to get down rather than needing to sit there and chew through an entire meal.

My guess is that the folks over at r/dmt might have better experience with what you're going through as well, just a thought. I haven't seen too many people bring up psychedelics on here.

Yeah some folks have been helping me there, but I don't think they know what to advise other than take it easy. I just tried to nap, after resting I get panic attacks, damn this lack of sleep or hunger is very unusual, but it is feeling like a slow death sentence. Thanks for tips,honestly I don't know what to do. Gonna get sleeping pills Monday hope they help.

 

[Foxes]

Yeah some folks have been helping me there, but I don't think they know what to advise other than take it easy. I just tried to nap, after resting I get panic attacks, damn this lack of sleep or hunger is very unusual, but it is feeling like a slow death sentence. Thanks for tips,honestly I don't know what to do. Gonna get sleeping pills Monday hope they help.

You got this, friend. It's a shame because it was helping your depression too. I'm really hoping it's just some messed up temporary side effect you're experiencing.

When I tried shrooms for the first time, my brain felt completely fried for weeks after it and I felt really depressed and couldn't shake it. Had to do LSD for it to go away, but now the LSD isn't helping so here I am.

 

[nosoul]

You got this, friend. It's a shame because it was helping your depression too. I'm really hoping it's just some messed up temporary side effect you're experiencing.

When I tried shrooms for the first time, my brain felt completely fried for weeks after it and I felt really depressed and couldn't shake it. Had to do LSD for it to go away, but now the LSD isn't helping so here I am.

So you are hanging on yourself, or do you see ctb as a possibility? I'm so stuck, I'm gonna try to eat and then sleep, just try to make it 1 day at a time. I feel like I'm gonna collapse in the future but then who will watch dogs. Lsd was great to me, I should have just stuck with that as you need to take days off. With dmt, the fact that is always there is likely where I Damaged myself. Thank you for the support, I'm just down and tired right now. Can't call my family as they are afraid of me and won't take me in.

 

[Foxes]

So you are hanging on yourself, or do you see ctb as a possibility?

I'm barely hanging in there. I've been working on my CTB plan/exit for the last week now. I signed up on here 3 years ago, researching methods but never became active on the site. Life happened and distracted me for a time, but my extremely low mood brought me back here last week, which is when I began to engage and interact with others.

It's been a saving grace for me lately, however temporary my stay may be. It's so nice to be able to connect with others and tell them how shitty I've been feeling and have them actually understand the situation and also reading about others who feel similarly -- because dealing with suicidal thoughts isn't and will never be easy to deal with, especially alone. With the exception of one other suicidal friend in my life, no one else gets it. Gotta put on a happy act for everyone else cause they'll either tire of hearing my shit or they'll try to ply me with positivity and advice that just doesn't help at this time. I'm not sure what's going to snap me out of this mood I'm in. It's very dark, it's very low.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this on your own but I hope that the folks here will help you get through what you're going through.

For now, my advice to you is to take it easy. Definitely lay off on the drugs for a bit. Vent here to us when you feel like things are getting to be too much and you need to get it off your chest 'cause it really does help. You are beyond welcome for the support, we're happy to provide it.

 

[nosoul]

In many ways, I don't want to ctb, but I also can't see myself living through an eventual decline in health and go into full madness and delirium, to live each day feeling nothing but confusion panic and extreme anxiety. I cringe thinking how my vitals look now because I've been eating like crap before not being able to eat. I wish you well, I don't have any other means than maybe jumping on speeding highway, tall parking garage near me but may not be high enough, it is 5 levels.

I wish someone would shoot me in the head but I don't even know where to begin.

 

[Foxes]

In many ways, I don't want to ctb, but I also can't see myself living through an eventual decline in health and go into full madness and delirium, to live each day feeling nothing but confusion panic and extreme anxiety. I cringe thinking how my vitals look now because I've been eating like crap before not being able to eat. I wish you well, I don't have any other means than maybe jumping on speeding highway, tall parking garage near me but may not be high enough, it is 5 levels.

I wish someone would shoot me in the head but I don't even know where to begin.

Well you have no idea if this is a temporary or permanent mental state just yet, so don't go rushing into something that you can't ever come back from.

Thank you for the well wishes, and right back at you. I hope that you find some peace and relief from your horrible symptoms soon, they sound like an absolute nightmare.

 

[nosoul]

Do you suggest I try to hang on? I'm too confused to properly plan right now, and my dogs need me.

Everything is so dark and just filled with anxiety and panic, I will try to give it more time, my life is such a mess right now though, God help me:(

Gonna take klonopin and try to sleep.

But you understand my dilemma that I need to eat healthy and sleep, neither of which I'm capable of atm.

Sorry to be so negative, it is just hell right now.

 

[Foxes]

Do you suggest I try to hang on? I'm too confused to properly plan right now, and my dogs need me.

Everything is so dark and just filled with anxiety and panic, I will try to give it more time, my life is such a mess right now though, God help me:(

Gonna take klonopin and try to sleep.

But you understand my dilemma that I need to eat healthy and sleep, neither of which I'm capable of atm.

Sorry to be so negative, it is just hell right now.

Nah, you're not being negative. You're just in a lot of emotional pain right now and things have turned upside down for you. I completely understand.

What you ultimately end up deciding to do is entirely in your hands, I can't make that choice for you in the end. The reason I was suggesting for you to not rush into any decision just yet was because you had stated this:

In many ways, I don't want to ctb

I have no idea what's going on with your brain right now, but what if in a few days you're not feeling the symptoms anymore, you know?

 

[nosoul]

Nah, you're not being negative. You're just in a lot of emotional pain right now and things have turned upside down for you. I completely understand.

What you ultimately end up deciding to do is entirely in your hands, I can't make that choice for you in the end. The reason I was suggesting for you to not rush into any decision just yet was because you had stated this:



I have no idea what's going on with your brain right now, but what if in a few days you're not feeling the symptoms anymore, you know?

good point, I'm just trying to normalize eating and sleeping, but if this doesn't improve, it is just Terrible suffering I'm going through. The highlight of my day is sleeping but it's medically induced.

I take it finding N is very difficult but the most painless way to go?

I guess I have to give it more time but there has been no improvement in past week, I know short time for 6 months abuse. My brain is numb to cannabis and I used to love it, but I'm trying to go sober make what time I have left positive. Thank you kindly for hearing me out, I wish I could maybe find a partner to do it with if the time comes but I will try to get healthy first.

do you think there is forgiveness on the other side if there is one?

Music was my greatest passion but now I seem not even to feel the emotion from it.

Having been in some bad psych wards, my worst fear is to end up there with other low functioning patients, I would definitely prefer to ctb if I end up there.

I hope you find relief from your suffering whatever it is you choose as well.

 

[absolomonisgone]

This is it. What is called life and being alive. You are in the thick of the action.

 

[Foxes]

I take it finding N is very difficult but the most painless way to go?

Oh yeah. Very hard to gain access to from what I've read on here. I haven't done a whole lot of research on other methods outside of SN so I can't really speak on anything outside of it.

do you think there is forgiveness on the other side if there is one?

I 100% believe there is nothing but love on the other side. I find peace in knowing that we're all made up of stardust and that we'll return from whence we came. The universe is so damn infinite and breathtakingly beautiful -- how can there be anything else but love out there? I probably sound like I'm on some hippie shit, but it's what I believe haha.

Music was my greatest passion but now I seem not even to feel the emotion from it.

Music was everything to me before my depression set in. I went to shows all the time and had so much fun. Music was my therapy and helped me escape from this world for a time. Depression kicked in and I completely stopped being interested in it for years now. It's never been the same for me and I wish it was.

I hope you find relief from your suffering whatever it is you choose as well.

Thank you, dear! I am ever so tired. I feel a calling to go back home. I've never felt at home here.

 

[Microwave]

MAKE yourself eat or you will send yourself mad.

 

[DarknessAndDespair]

I can't give any advice because I'm going thru a very similar experience. Due to the exacerbated health conditions that appeared I am unable to sleep and I have been taking sleeping meds for months, benzos. Also no appetite... Lost much weight. Doctors are unable to help and so I acknowledged this is it, I must end it myself before getting worse and end in hospital hooked up to machines.
I wish you can still find a way to ease the trouble and be able to sleep and eat again.

 

[nosoul]

MAKE yourself eat or you will send yourself mad.

I have been forcing down some food, but it's so abnormal to my usually hungry self.

It was the pharma meds & geoengineering which caused this...
I'm aware this isn't of much comfort, but at least now you know that its this system which ruins us more often times than not.

None of us have witnessed a deep blue sky in the past 7 years so is it any surprise we feel this way?
This one tidbit goes out to all of those aviation geeks.


"If you have been watching (I have), you will notice that there is virtually no view of any country anywhere that has unlimited visibility anymore. I have seen searching for years and have never seen one. It is astonishing that no one is talking about this.

The lack of unlimited visibility should not surprise us who know what is going on. Those who are older and have flown have noticed the haze that encircles the entire Earth. Back in the 70's and 80's, when flying, you could barely see the transparent atmosphere around the Earth. Now, however, it's a bright, radiating, metallic-like, haze-filled fog that never goes away.

It's astounding how these pattern-changes are right before the eyes of the world, yet, no one talks about them. Nevertheless, I point this out so, perhaps, we can begin to bring this up to friends and family to help them see what is being intentionally done to this planet.

The haze gradually appeared over the past 20 years during the same time period widespread spraying began. The haze is not water vapor. It is intentionally released, toxic metals and other substances, that have been mass-injected into the atmosphere around the entire Earth."

(video) Mercury Destroying Your Kidneys, Destroying Your Lives, Vaccine Injury

OrbisVitae.com Alternative News, Information, Public Forums.

orbisvitae.com

Daily Log of Chemtrail Spray Events: Log #27: March 2023

GlobalSkywatch.com Chemtrail/Geoengineering News Forums Conferences.

globalskywatch.com

I'm not as sure about the geo engineering, but for sure the pharma meds are no joke and harm so many people.

 

[Microwave]

I have been forcing down some food, but it's so abnormal to my usually hungry self.

I'm not as sure about the geo engineering, but for sure the pharma meds are no joke and harm so many people.

that includes opiates and benzo's though.

 

[paranoidschizo42578]

Psychedelics are no joke if you've really been "blasting" DMT that hard you have done irreversible damage to your brain already and most likely you're going to need a lot of medication to mitigate the effects
I have a lot of experience with such drugs and have always treated them with the utmost respect talking them should be like a ritual and yet still with every precaution i could take in environment and mental state I've even had multiple psychotic episodes due to them (though i am predisposed)

You're probably going to need anti psychotics and are now very susceptible to developing mental illnesses and disorders (like the eating and sleeping disorders you are already noticing)
Also if you're brain isn't fully developed yet (mid to late 20s) the effects of the damage will be much greater you could even end up losing touch with reality entirely
Not knowing if what's around you is reality or in your head
Have you had any hallucinations? It's common with heavy psychedelic use in those not fully developed

 

[nosoul]

Psychedelics are no joke if you've really been "blasting" DMT that hard you have done irreversible damage to your brain already and most likely you're going to need a lot of medication to mitigate the effects
I have a lot of experience with such drugs and have always treated them with the utmost respect talking them should be like a ritual and yet still with every precaution i could take in environment and mental state I've even had multiple psychotic episodes due to them (though i am predisposed)

You're probably going to need anti psychotics and are now very susceptible to developing mental illnesses and disorders (like the eating and sleeping disorders you are already noticing)
Also if you're brain isn't fully developed yet (mid to late 20s) the effects of the damage will be much greater you could even end up losing touch with reality entirely
Not knowing if what's around you is reality or in your head
Have you had any hallucinations? It's common with heavy psychedelic use in those not fully developed

I'm 44, yeah I fear serious damage as aside from sleep and food which is critical, the lack of emotions. This is why I think to ctb, I already feel so dead, and if not dead terrible anxiety and panic attacks. This is nor the news I wanted to hear but what I feel. But something feels very off when cannabis and cigarettes I don't feel anything. I'm trying to hang on, but feel without ability to sleep and eat I'm a dead man walking.

No hallucinations now, but I'm forgetful of little things and I just look forward to resting more than eating.

Noone has any answers and I'm really disappointed and sad about this. All I have is my dogs but their and my grooming are being neglected.

I looked in the mirror today and I looked small and deflated.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist but he's just going to med me up making me feel numb.

So this is the end? I really feel it is. Did something awful few weeks ago.

I already feel detached from human emotion, everything is so flat, I don't know what to do.

I'm struggling researching even how to ctb.

I have to find and move into new apt and that seems a monumental task.

Woe is me, if people see me getting thinner and struggling, I don't want To be institutionalized.

that includes opiates and benzo's though.

Benzos have been the only thing helping me to sleep a little, yeah I dread having to go back on meds, my physical health is already feeling quite compromised, I just have the energy to walk my dog. No enjoyment to food and no feedback as to whether I had enough.

If have to maybe place dogs and ctb, before this I couldn't even imagine my 1 dog getting older and not being with me, but now I can't see myself lasting as long as him.