Venting No good methods for me

[Trainwreck]

Hello everyone, it's been awhile since I've been around. I want to cbt because of my poor health. I was going to use SN back in October, but my gut problems got a lot worse, so it isn't a great option for me (I have Crohn's disease, gastroparesis, stomach and esophageal ulcers). Ingesting anything would probably be unreliable and painful. I'm homebound and live with my parents, or else I'd really consider CO2. I used to be great at learning and researching, but I have so much brain fog from daily migraines and malnutrition, that my cognitive abilities are just shot. Otherwise I'd look into the exit bag, or try to figure out bitcoin and the dark web. I just feel like there are no good options for me, which scares me to death because I can't bear being trapped in this broken body much longer. If I were terminal, I'd beg my parents to move me to a "Death with Dignity" state, but I guess you're not allowed to die with dignity when you're cursed with multiple chronic illnesses. I just wish someone would understand how miserable it is to face day after long day, with no end in sight. I've never been a crier, but these last 6 months, I've cried more than I have in my whole life put together. But no one understands! My doctors just keep wanting to put me through one hellish procedure/treatment after another with no regard for how shitty my quality of life is.

Anyway, thanks for listening. No one else in my life will. I've never felt so alone.

 

[mediocre]

You sound just like me. I also have a lot of gut problems and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep the SN down. I've also began crying a lot recently and I never used to be a crier. Things just become so overwhelming I burst into tears now. I too suffer from brain fog. I'm sorry I can't help you more but I just wanted to tell you that I know what you're going through. If you ever want to talk I'm always here.

 

[Trainwreck]

Thank you! It's so hard when the people around you don't fully understand. I do have SN, but I'm scared to try it and fail.

 

[LittleJem]

The Debreather mask looks really good and esay to use, and doesn't involve swallowing anything. Not sure if it's available yet.

I am struggling to get on dark net as I cannot think very straight, but trying hard to get it done. But if I could thikn less straight, it would not be happening at all.

I'm sorry for all hte torture you are being put through.

 

[The Hunter]

I understand your pain, I'm sorry that you dont have a peaceful exit option, and serious but non terminal illnesses must be hell. And along with all this comes the psychological problems, which are also a nightmare. I don't know what else to tell you, I'm in a similar situation, I don't know if I'll get some things that I want and need in life, but I've come to the conclusion that I can't ctb, it's not really an option for me. is completely necessary for me to stay. So I'm stuck too, and that's very distressing, even though the reason I have to stay is noble. Anyway, I understand your feeling of being stuck.
But there are some other methods: DDMP, F. Do a search, I dont know about the reliability of these methods. I think there must be some peaceful way for you, I unfortunately don't have much information. I hope you find or some more experienced member talk about something. I hope your health somehow improves or that you can get out peacefully if you really want/need to leave. I wish you the best.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Hello everyone, it's been awhile since I've been around. I want to cbt because of my poor health. I was going to use SN back in October, but my gut problems got a lot worse, so it isn't a great option for me (I have Crohn's disease, gastroparesis, stomach and esophageal ulcers). Ingesting anything would probably be unreliable and painful. I'm homebound and live with my parents, or else I'd really consider CO2. I used to be great at learning and researching, but I have so much brain fog from daily migraines and malnutrition, that my cognitive abilities are just shot. Otherwise I'd look into the exit bag, or try to figure out bitcoin and the dark web. I just feel like there are no good options for me, which scares me to death because I can't bear being trapped in this broken body much longer. If I were terminal, I'd beg my parents to move me to a "Death with Dignity" state, but I guess you're not allowed to die with dignity when you're cursed with multiple chronic illnesses. I just wish someone would understand how miserable it is to face day after long day, with no end in sight. I've never been a crier, but these last 6 months, I've cried more than I have in my whole life put together. But no one understands! My doctors just keep wanting to put me through one hellish procedure/treatment after another with no regard for how shitty my quality of life is.

Anyway, thanks for listening. No one else in my life will. I've never felt so alone.

Reading your post has really resonated with me. I am 45 and have had multiple chronic and life limiting conditions since age of 14. One of these is gastroparesis like you have so I can relate how you feeling about swallowing things and how your insides would react. Even drinking water really hurts and I am limited to only 2 food stuffs now, its awful. I am also addicted to prescription narcotics so if I took drugs on top not only would I need a hell of alot to do anything or have chance of being succesful, I have the gastro to consider. I know the misery and anguish day after day when you have so many things physically wrong with you, people just dont realize. Its very hard indeed. I think regards crying, we tend to feel its a weakness when we cry, but we were given tears for a reason and the emotions that come when we do cry. Its important to allow yourself to cry when you need to and dont worry about it. I find I hold alot of my stuff in and then in turn it makes all the physical ailments even worse.

I dont know how i would CTB as like yourself am so limited with so much going on. I dont know, I have heard of people who are not terminal using Euthanasia, it depends where you live and what laws are in force. I am in the UK so for instance if i wished to go down that route i would have to go to Switzerland to Dignitas as UK forbids the practice. There was a documentary I seen once of a young woman who was depressed (cant recall the country) and she ended up dying by legal Euthanasia. Mainly we think of it for those with terminal illnesses. Chronic ones are so very hard to deal with I can truly empathise with you.

You say noone understands, maybe not in the outside world, but on here you can be open and free to express yourself and I for one can see how badly this is all effecting you. You say you live with your parents, do you mind me asking if they are aware of how bad you feel and wishing to not be around anymore or are you hiding that from them. Do you have a good relationship with them? If so then I am sure they would understand why you feel the way you do even if they didn't know how to react or deal with it. If you dont have that sort of relationship then do share anything you need at all here. I know you feel alone, I do too but I do find it helpful reaching out on here as its safe to do so. Knowing this I hope it helps in some small way and that i have very similar health concerns.

 

[Kirbster]

Im so sorry you have to go through such suffering, friend. I understand your piece about the brain fog, but there are some really good videos that show you how to step by step pull off an exit bag method. Like the one from "Doing it with Betty Making an Exit Bag." The only problem ive encountered is actually having the means to get the helium or nitrogen (preferred). Jumping off a tall building would be my second go to because it only takes a second, is painless, and relatively easy. I hope your able to find a method that works for you soon-- sending support your way. ❤

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Hello everyone, it's been awhile since I've been around. I want to cbt because of my poor health. I was going to use SN back in October, but my gut problems got a lot worse, so it isn't a great option for me (I have Crohn's disease, gastroparesis, stomach and esophageal ulcers). Ingesting anything would probably be unreliable and painful. I'm homebound and live with my parents, or else I'd really consider CO2. I used to be great at learning and researching, but I have so much brain fog from daily migraines and malnutrition, that my cognitive abilities are just shot. Otherwise I'd look into the exit bag, or try to figure out bitcoin and the dark web. I just feel like there are no good options for me, which scares me to death because I can't bear being trapped in this broken body much longer. If I were terminal, I'd beg my parents to move me to a "Death with Dignity" state, but I guess you're not allowed to die with dignity when you're cursed with multiple chronic illnesses. I just wish someone would understand how miserable it is to face day after long day, with no end in sight. I've never been a crier, but these last 6 months, I've cried more than I have in my whole life put together. But no one understands! My doctors just keep wanting to put me through one hellish procedure/treatment after another with no regard for how shitty my quality of life is.

Anyway, thanks for listening. No one else in my life will. I've never felt so alone.

Hi, so sorry to hear about your experiences. I am in a similar boat with an incurable chronic illness/permanent disability, and brain fog is one of key symptoms. I also get migraines but the brain fog is more or less consistent.

It is tough to read and research and learn about this stuff. It took me several days juts to get through a few pages of the Five Last Acts book recommended on here. I have also considered exit bags, CO2, etc..... and tried and failed several times already at partial hanging.

Since i am in a similar position as you are, the one thing i'd suggest to you is to try the tourniquet method. There is next to no setup required.

I have just bumped the main tourniquet method thread with a post about knots to use, so you can check that out. The first post is informative enough, but you might want to skim through all four pages to get a sense of what works and what won't.

Ultimately you will still have to experiment, to find your carotid arteries, get the right method of compression, etc. But the tourniquet method requires nothing more than a little length of rope and a solid lever (like a metal spoon or some sort of stick).

You can do this at home, without worrying anyone, all you need is about 60 minutes undisturbed so you can die peacefully.

(sorry for the multiple new paragraphs, i find it makes it easier to read with my brain fog and hoping OP will find the same).

 

[Quarky00]

The GI folks are out

You're not alone. Yes – the migraines, malnutrition, brain fog, ulcers, pain, insomnia, crying, homebound, cognitive impairment. You're not alone.

 

[Terminally ill]

I also have serious health problems, also my reason to cbt among many others. My question is, with all these problems , what is your reasoning for avoiding SN? Do you fear that you will not be able to not vomit SN no matter how many glasses you take and therefor fail? Or do you fear that it will be just be a very painfull death because of your gut problems, but still it will be leathal?I am thinking that the process of SN working remains the same, so it would just be that the agony will be higher in people like us? But what is really few more hours in comparison to a life? This is my thinking. Also, did u try experimenting with regular salt and see what happens?

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with finding a method that is comfortable for you. I can see how most messages that lead to death would be considered unappealing. Have you looked through the Meghan thread of methods? There are quite a few that will cover all the bases and tastes. If none of those work you can think outside of the box. There are a lot of things in this world that will kill a human but I think this group focuses more on the ones that suck less.

regardless we are here for you. And you are never alone as long as you have us.