hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I put so much effort all my life to prove myself to others (society expectations ). And what for? We are treated like nothing regardless. How is it they ok with labeling people as smarter because of some numbers? All it took was a bad financial decision if the credit got ruined, got a few F's due to an emotional crisis but now I am in probation ahead of one semester before graduation . But does school or society cares about the reason why it happened? Are we supoosed to be machines that just act all perfectly because if we don't then we are nothing? But then if one wants to die they get mad ? Like this is insane. Like why would I wanna meet others just for them to get me a job? Faking I like them to obtain something? Why is this ok? Just here complaining wishing someone feels like me too.
 
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The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
259
Some of the most intelligent ppl dropped out of school while dumb dumbs running stuff can't get fooled again apparently.

Too much assumption is placed on standardised testing & by the numbers "accolades".

Fit into the round hole & if you don't you're defective yet you have so much to live for & ppl care.....jfl.

Fact is who you know will get you further in life than what you know, nepotism 101.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,160
Humans are forced to exist and they have all these pressures and expectations placed on them, humans are just slaves to the society. To me, life itself is very depressing. It is cruel to expect people to suffer against their wishes until old age, just for the sake of it. I wish that we lived in a world where our right to die is respected. It really is such an unfair life and I'm sorry that you suffer so much.
 
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Judy Garland

Judy Garland

HoHum
Mar 23, 2022
826
It really is a hell of a world. Everything is so exhausting and even scary. I hate the whole system. It's designed to keep you a number and nothing else.
 
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NobodyKnowsMe

NobodyKnowsMe

Just biding my time
Dec 21, 2021
581
I put so much effort all my life to prove myself to others (society expectations ). And what for? We are treated like nothing regardless. How is it they ok with labeling people as smarter because of some numbers? All it took was a bad financial decision if the credit got ruined, got a few F's due to an emotional crisis but now I am in probation ahead of one semester before graduation . But does school or society cares about the reason why it happened? Are we supoosed to be machines that just act all perfectly because if we don't then we are nothing? But then if one wants to die they get mad ? Like this is insane. Like why would I wanna meet others just for them to get me a job? Faking I like them to obtain something? Why is this ok? Just here complaining wishing someone feels like me too.
I don't want to downplay your experience or give an overly positive vibe, but I have been in a similar situation and managed to survive it. I was always a straight A student in school. Then, the second half of my Junior year, things went really bad at home, due to lots of reasons. That was the one and only time that I actually tried to kill myself. Even though I had tried to kill myself, I didn't really want to die - I just wanted the emotional pain to end so badly.

Anyway, I ended up dropping all of my classes that semester, which resulted in F's for the first time in my life -- that, in itself was a really hard thing to deal with. But overall, I still loved school and I was determined to not have the financially crappy life that my mother had. So I ended up taking correspondence courses over the summer (they didn't have onilne stuff back then), and then I carried a full load my senior year in order to graduate with my class.

It truly sucked in so many ways. The rumor mill held the story that I dropped my junior year because I was pregnant -- which wasn't true, but the story stuck -- and that meant everyone looked at me in "that way" whenever they passed me in the halls. I had moved to a new school during my junior year -- part of the crap that went bad -- and so I had pretty much no friends at school anyway. It was hard and lonely my senior year, and graduating with such a low GPA after always having A's was truly heartbreaking for me.

The only thing that kept me fighting was the hope that things would get better some day. While I still battle depression and still go in and out of suicide mode, in many ways things really did get better --- at least better than what they were at that time.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I don't want to downplay your experience or give an overly positive vibe, but I have been in a similar situation and managed to survive it. I was always a straight A student in school. Then, the second half of my Junior year, things went really bad at home, due to lots of reasons. That was the one and only time that I actually tried to kill myself. Even though I had tried to kill myself, I didn't really want to die - I just wanted the emotional pain to end so badly.

Anyway, I ended up dropping all of my classes that semester, which resulted in F's for the first time in my life -- that, in itself was a really hard thing to deal with. But overall, I still loved school and I was determined to not have the financially crappy life that my mother had. So I ended up taking correspondence courses over the summer (they didn't have onilne stuff back then), and then I carried a full load my senior year in order to graduate with my class.

It truly sucked in so many ways. The rumor mill held the story that I dropped my junior year because I was pregnant -- which wasn't true, but the story stuck -- and that meant everyone looked at me in "that way" whenever they passed me in the halls. I had moved to a new school during my junior year -- part of the crap that went bad -- and so I had pretty much no friends at school anyway. It was hard and lonely my senior year, and graduating with such a low GPA after always having As was truly heartbreaking for me.

The only thing that kept me fighting was the hope that things would get better some day. While I still battle depression and still go in and out of suicide mode, in many ways things really did get better --- at least better than what they were at that time.
It is very comforting to hear your story. I truly feel heartbroken just like you did back then. Sometimes I felt like I was the only one. But now I know it is valid to feel this way. Idk I am just waiting for the day 🥺💔
 
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The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
259
I don't want to downplay your experience or give an overly positive vibe, but I have been in a similar situation and managed to survive it. I was always a straight A student in school. Then, the second half of my Junior year, things went really bad at home, due to lots of reasons. That was the one and only time that I actually tried to kill myself. Even though I had tried to kill myself, I didn't really want to die - I just wanted the emotional pain to end so badly.

Anyway, I ended up dropping all of my classes that semester, which resulted in F's for the first time in my life -- that, in itself was a really hard thing to deal with. But overall, I still loved school and I was determined to not have the financially crappy life that my mother had. So I ended up taking correspondence courses over the summer (they didn't have onilne stuff back then), and then I carried a full load my senior year in order to graduate with my class.

It truly sucked in so many ways. The rumor mill held the story that I dropped my junior year because I was pregnant -- which wasn't true, but the story stuck -- and that meant everyone looked at me in "that way" whenever they passed me in the halls. I had moved to a new school during my junior year -- part of the crap that went bad -- and so I had pretty much no friends at school anyway. It was hard and lonely my senior year, and graduating with such a low GPA after always having A's was truly heartbreaking for me.

The only thing that kept me fighting was the hope that things would get better some day. While I still battle depression and still go in and out of suicide mode, in many ways things really did get better --- at least better than what they were at that time.
I get ya, a lot of work put in just to lose it all due to calling a time out & yes ppl are very judgemental before the facts.

Nobody can really relate to something unless they've been through it or affected by something somebody close to them have but even then it's like second hand smoke; less potent in it's affects.

Thing is if things were good you wouldn't have an account on a site like this right, there must be an itch that won't go away.
 
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