No bullshit, does therapy or counseling even help?

[Circles]

I want to try it just to get it out of the way, but my insurance probably won't allow me to go anywhere decent. But that's a different topic. I keep seeing people constantly and constantly and fucking constantly give this out as advice that therapy or counseling or whatever is one of the best options of getting better or recovering or what the fuck ever. I don't know why I'm so reluctant and hate hearing how people say this constantly, but if it does help then how and by how much? Essentially how is talking to a random stranger about my problems going to help me?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Depends on the person. I don't have much info about you, so can't really guess.

 

[ibrandon23]

It always helped me. Right now though, everyone I've tried is on a six-month wait list.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

I'm doing some online CBT thing atm, it's kinda helpful, but very general. Is free though so no loss (through NHS). I have actually been feeling alot more hopeful recently but I don't attribute this entirely to this CBT, though it may have opened me up to trying to be more positive again.

I'd say it's worth a shot, you have nothing to lose. Unless it costs money.. But then you can't take that with you when you go anyway!

Good luck.

 

[ultrafuntimes]

From my experience, It can help, but it takes a lot of work on your part. It isn't like going to a doctor where they figure out what's wrong and tell you how to feel better, but more like working together with someone to help you help yourself, if that makes sense.

It's really important to find a therapist that works best for you. Different therapists have different styles of treatment, it took me years to find one that was actually helpful.

 

[willitpass]

i believe everyone should try it. in my personal experience it took about 8 years for it to start to help and a few more years for it to help enough that i was able to function and that was on top of a bunch of meds and hospitalizations and shit. even now it's just keeping me stable. i've been in it for so long at this point that i've gotten burnt out and no longer take full advantage of it bc it's more mentally taxing to go to therapy than to not. anyway i digress. i think everyone should give it a shot because it may well help

 

[Angi]

it takes a lot of work on your part. It isn't like going to a doctor where they figure out what's wrong and tell you how to feel better, but more like working together with someone to help you help yourself, if that makes sense.

It's really important to find a therapist that works best for you.

Ultrafuntimes nailed the point, I think. I find therapy very helpful, so much so that I sometimes hope I will be able to be me and to be happy again. At the same time, it is taxing, at best, sometimes downright painful. Maybe you heard about people with head injury who have to relearn things like walking and talking, slowly and painfully. I cannot claim to know their pain, but I think the process is comparable to therapy. Your brain learns to do things it cannot do right now.

Also, you really need a therapist you can trust. This is a very personal thing, and therapists know this, so the good ones will not mind if you do a session or two to see if you like them, and find you do not. No need to worry about a "decent" therapist, though, as far as I have learned their reputation (and pricing) will tell you something about the furniture you can expect, but very little about whether they can help you. Unless you used "decent" to mean "fully dessed", then yes, I you find yourself approached by a naked therapist you might want to run.

 

[mandyjohnuk]

I think you have to seek help on you own and not have it forced upon you. Myself I'm naturally defensive and I don't won't to open up to anyone or seek the pointless help that's out there. The so called experts need to see a specialist themselves because the stuff that comes out there month is sheer madness.

 

[ibrandon23]

Anyone ever try journaling? Therapists and online articles recommend that a lot. It's always seemed like a chore to me so, I've only done it a few times though.

Although, I've done it twice this week. I try to do one page single spaced. That's about 600 words. Typically only takes about 10-15 minutes. It's free and easily accessible for most people. Not going to provide the same benefits as therapy/counseling, but I think it can help you put your thoughts out there/in order. And it's a lot cheaper and less effort. Just a thought.

 

[thinkkank]

From my experience, It can help, but it takes a lot of work on your part. It isn't like going to a doctor where they figure out what's wrong and tell you how to feel better, but more like working together with someone to help you help yourself, if that makes sense.

It's really important to find a therapist that works best for you. Different therapists have different styles of treatment, it took me years to find one that was actually helpful.

yes, they are helping you help yourself. they are giving you mental tools to fix yourself. in some cases if someone is determined to end their life therapy won't help.
it doesn't hurt to try, but you have to go in knowing that you are expected to do most of the legwork
are there any therapists on the forum? i would think that they would visit this place and offer advice

 

[pole]

like others have mentioned, it may help you.

personally, I hate opening up and speaking to people about myself, especially someone that's on the clock and gets paid to listen to me. I'm good.

doesn't hurt to try though, but for some people, they oppose it which is fine.

 

[jesse]

A small fraction of my therapy experiences have felt productive. I'll echo the sentiment that it requires a lot of personal work. Therapists can't fix your problems for you, they can only show you the way.

 

[Ada]

It never helped me, and I really tried making it work. My therapists always say that I am so insightful and reflected, even the nurses at the mental hospital say that, which doesn't really make any sense considering why I am there. What is actually happening is that they become convinced by my self reflecting thoughts. But that does not mean that I am always correct about how I assess myself.

I have spent so many years of my life in therapy thinking that it will help. And that has undoubtedly ruined everything for me. Nothing happens when you talk to someone. Your life does not solve itself that way. As I waited to get better, I lost connection with everyone in my life, I became unemployed and dependent on welfare handouts. The only thing that my life evolved around was going to therapy sessions, and in between the sessions, I was just waiting for the next one.

What I should have done instead is talk to a priest. Not because I am religious, but because I believe that it would have been much more helpful to be forgiven by some paternal figure and be relieved of guilt, then to be told by a psychologist that nothing is really my fault. Even if it is true that I am not in fault for becoming depressed and trying to kill myself, it would have been more helpful to just be forgiven and then move on with my life. Therapy can take years, and it typically does (until they give up on you).

 

[Treeline589]

As others have stated, it takes work but I think it does help. It might take time to find the right therapist as well. The therapist isn't going to just automatically make things better but I know from my own experience it does help.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[Josh007]

It can support during recovery. It's important there's different kinds of doctors; there's therapists, counselors and social workers.
When starting therapy it's important to find someone you have rapport with, this could be a counselor, therapists or social worker. note that therapists usually have more experience in therapy. Counselors tend to counsel, and social workers find outside resources to aid in recovery.
I've had issues with financing, my advice would be to go to a community clinic, public hospital, or somewhere with sliding scale fees.
Online therapy can be an option, sometimes they offer paying per quarter instead of per session.

 

[waitingforrest]

It may help but it's not for everyone. I have problems that can't ever be solved by changing my mindset or actions so therapy doesn't help me much. Sometimes just talking about the past makes me feel worse as I remembered things I hide deep in my mind.

While I think people should give therapy a chance, it's not a one size fits all.

 

[clown_17]

In all honesty, it's a no from me.

I have pretty bad attachment issues and so I'll get very defensive with therapists. I interpret things as threatening when they aren't. And if the therapist is fine I find I'm just unable to connect with them. Usually I leave feeling worse than before I came in.

Module therapy: cbt or dbt, seems to help a slight bit for me (like 20%) but talk therapy is personally useless. And unfortunately you do have to put in a lot of work for little reward. If you're suicidal therapy is useless but if you really do want to try it's worth a shot

 

[angiegirl30]

I want to try it just to get it out of the way, but my insurance probably won't allow me to go anywhere decent. But that's a different topic. I keep seeing people constantly and constantly and fucking constantly give this out as advice that therapy or counseling or whatever is one of the best options of getting better or recovering or what the fuck ever. I don't know why I'm so reluctant and hate hearing how people say this constantly, but if it does help then how and by how much? Essentially how is talking to a random stranger about my problems going to help me?

Okay here's my experience. I've been in and out of counseling for many years. When I put the effort into it, it helps. And by putting effort in, I mean listening to my counselor and taking any suggestions that she has and trying them. I am always honest with her. About everything. My feelings, my anxieties and worries, and even any plans to harm myself. She knows it all. She can't help me unless I tell her my mind. But also keep this in mind— change doesn't happen overnight. It's gradual. Unfortunately. But it happens if you do the best you can do. I wouldn't give up counseling for anything. Am I cured? Nope. But I'm better than I was a year ago. Do I have bad days? Well I'm on this site aren't I? But at the moment I'm doing okay. I wish you the best. Give it a try and go from there.

 

[9BBN]

The key to therapy is understanding what it actually is. It doesn't lift you out of your crisis. It doesn't help you immediately. I'm pretty sure they're not even supposed to tell you what you should do or say to other people. Instead, it's about developing coping strategies for dealing with crisis. Personally, after discovering my whole life was a lie, I've had a pattern of defeatist thinking that gets in my way of realistic problem solving. And it compounds on itself by causing further defeat. Therapy helped me disrupt that. Do I still resent my life and wish I was never born? Pretty much. Am I still jaded? Yeah. But for what it's worth my ability to move on has been improved and I'll grant therapy that much. One thing I really dislike is how I feel like I can't be completely honest about my suicidal thoughts. Also in my experience therapy really depends on the therapist, so find someone you trust and someone who gets you. If they can't repeat back what you said that's a bad sign. I hope you're able to find the help you need but if not we're always here to support you. Bless this community honestly.

 

[JinZhin]

Speaking from personal experience in my country, not really. Some of psychiatrists have themselves told me they 'don't specialize in issues I would have been facing'- therefore can only prescribe me drugs. No matter how shitty the experience can end up, I'd still tell anyone to try to go couple of times.
Frankly I keep going only because drugs sometimes help a bit, even though they are questionable and

Anyone ever try journaling? Therapists and online articles recommend that a lot. It's always seemed like a chore to me so, I've only done it a few times though.

Although, I've done it twice this week. I try to do one page single spaced. That's about 600 words. Typically only takes about 10-15 minutes. It's free and easily accessible for most people. Not going to provide the same benefits as therapy/counseling, but I think it can help you put your thoughts out there/in order. And it's a lot cheaper and less effort. Just a thought.

I wanted to mention this- I have been doing for a long time now, and it can be helpful , it's a perfect way to vent or get anything you feel like off your chest. Also, some of the greatest insights I've gotten while writing and it has at least kept me self-aware.
It is not needed to force yourself to write every single day, or always write about same things, just grab a notepad or a nice notebook/anything , start writing, and keep on writing.
There are some techniques that can be looked upon on the internet.
If you are worried someone might read it, there are more solutions but one of them is to put it among a pile or other papers/books/notebooks - you've hidden a tree in the woods problem solved, this works if you live with people who don't go through piles of papers obsessively.
Burning your own writings can be very therapeutic as well.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's worth a try especially if you haven't had it before. The results may vary though and there are a lot more untreatable people than most institutions would care to acknowledge. If money is going to be an issue, don't try to drain your wallet since no matter what kind of therapy you find it won't matter much in making you feel better if you're broke. Unfortunately in that case you might have to contend with cheaper yet slightly ineffective means of counseling and such. Still, just thinking your insurance might not cover therapy shouldn't fully deter you. It's worth a genuine look if you really think it could help.

Another aspect that many people forget about or don't want to remember is that therapy and counseling are best at helping those who genuinely want to be helped. I'd almost go as far as to say that if you've truly given up already, then it's useless. That said, maybe if you're lucky you could find a therapist that is somehow able to perform miracles and completely override all negative factors in life.

 

[Grav]

I'd almost go as far as to say that if you've truly given up already, then it's useless.

I think this is where I'm at now. I can say almost whatever to my therapist (not about my planning to avoid any mandatory action) but I'm not getting the "challenge your thoughts" idea, there's no alternative and I'm not buying into gratefuleness, seems bumper sticker jargon. I understand what the therapist is saying I just don't see how it works, like explaining colors to a blind person.

Therapy has helped to explain some of why I do what I do but no big insights or path changing action plans. It did help a bit with jumping to the attack all the time with personal interactions.

Has anyone tried those online counseling sites? I hear the ads constantly on podcasts.

Anyone ever try journaling?

I did it on/off for about 5 years. I started when I started therapy and explained to my wife that I was doing it in case soemthing happened and she wanted a view into my brain. The fancy journal only had little boxes so everything was like jotting little notes vs getting into ideas. But I'm a pen freak and it did give me an excuse to use fountain pens and good paper. That probably lifts my mood more than other things. Eventually the small jotting didn't do it anymore and I stopped. I may take it up again since I still have the pens and books, and could buy another pen, that'd make me feel better, ya that's an idea!

 

[Sherri]

I'll be honest with you, look for a good one that you feel you have a good connection between you and him\her. My doc recommended me one, she just stayed still waiting on me to talk. She would ask me no questions, would just stare at me for long minutes, so I spoke about the weather and little more than that. Did only 3 sessions, and then sent her an email saying I wouldn't go anymore. I thought a therapist would be someone that asks you lots of questions and make you speak out all your inner problems. I told Her my email, sorry we are not getting anywhere snd it's s waste of my 40mn. My shrink asked me why I quit told him the same. I told him the things I will tell her I will tell my friends, there is no difference. SS helps me more than a therapist, á psychologist is actually not a doctor. I never called her Dr. Called her Miss. hope you find a better one than mine, I've seen 3 over my life, pretty much the same. They just stare at the clock to be done with it. Not for me, rather open up with you fine members here. But that is my personal opinion in my case specifically, please find one if it will help you. A big hug.

 

[Hydrokhoos]

I'll be honest with you, look for a good one that you feel you have a good connection between you and him\her.

I really can't stress this point enough. It took me about 15 years and 10 therapists before I finally found ONE that actually worked for me. I didn't really look that hard before I found her because I was losing faith in therapy since I never had any real connection with anyone before. That was primarily due to not having much choice in who my therapist was until recently, but now that I know there can be helpful people out there it's motivating me to start looking again. It's definitely worth looking into and not giving up if the first person doesn't work out.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

It helps tremendously, but you need self-awareness and willpower. Without those things, it will be useless.

the way I see it, the thought patterns we fall into due to mental illness can be like an addiction. Not because we enjoy it, but because the behaviors caused by our thoughts are often relieving and make us feel safe (hence why we do them in the first place)

You need to want to get better before you can actually start to. It's not like the therapist will be able to give you the strength to do that. They simply help you have some perspective on your problems.

I don't have anyone to talk to about my problems, and coming onto here can make me feel worse. At therapy I can talk to another human being for once and be more aware of my cognitive distortions. Having appointments, homework, and goals also helps me stick to recovery.

 

[Seiko]

I saw little benefits, but I wasn't emotionally available for therapy at the time of trying it.

 

[rex_deceptorum]

It has never helped me! The last time i interacted with a therapist was in 2009, and as you can see I am still alive. He was the last one out of several shrinks that I have tried over the years, and he was one of the "least worst", but he was still light years away from helping me with or even understanding my problems.

I am not telling you that suicide is your only option, I am just saying just that shrinks are probably not the answer.

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

Short answer: one big resounding NO

 

[gwanath]

Therapy does help, but it's not a magic cure-all. It requires a lot of personal dedication and self-awareness, and what I have learned is that in order for therapy to help you have to understand a couple of things.

First, there's both devoted professionals and those who shouldn't be in this field. We need to learn how to detect them. Second, we can find a wide variety of therapy methods, and depending on our situation, some will be better suited than others. Lastly, even when we find a professional therapist with the adequate tools to help us, therapy works best when we develop a connection to our therapist.

It's important that our therapist is self-aware of their own limits, that we can discuss with them if something they have said has bothered us, and if they cannot help us, that they will help us find someone who might. There role is to help us, guide us, support us and offer us tools that we may not have even realized were an option.

Some therapists might be great helping people to stop smoking, but they won't necessarily be equipped with tackling trauma.

At the end of the day, we're the ones who must put in the work. But with a helpful therapist, we won't have to do it alone.

 

[ghqkiiia2]

Speaking from personal experience, sometimes it does help.
I tried 7 or 8 doctors and about half a dozen therapists ( In my country, the law requires different degrees and different training between these two positions, so usually they are carried out by different people, but I guess in some country one person could carry out both position?) and I considered myself lucky enough to met the right doctor/therapist who helped me to keep my head above waters, some of my friends were not so lucky.
It takes time for a trained therapist to understand your issues, and it takes time for you to try the solutions they provide. And even when, sometimes you don't appreciate their suggestions or you couldn't carry it out.
It's not your fault if you find no help in the process, it's simply probabilistic or even a bit random, I guess.