I was thinking like this too, mainly due to how I was treated before when I tried to tell people about my plans and because of the heartbreak the suicide of an important person in my life caused me - I would have never wanted to swap fronts and make them experience a loss of me like that.
I would just tell others Im going on a trip whenever I attempted - or leave without word when I was attempting in a place not so far away.
But then I started hanging out here a lot and noticed that people are so accepting. When I first witnessed someone ctb, I freaked out, trying to save them, having a nervous breakdown and being downvoted to oblivion for being pro life. But over time, I got used to it. People go, they need their peace, and I learnt accept it. So I started posting in between my recent jumping attempts, and was met with nothing but understanding and I feel like when I finally go Im going to exchange messages too. Its the only support I can get righ tnow.
Just that I wont post a goodbye thread cause it feels too final and I dont want to play with peoples feelings or be banned if I fail again.