Venting Next year, I am going to drive my car and cause a head-on collision.

[BrainsAreFragile]

My life is going to be destroyed in seven months, and on the day it gets destroyed, I am going to drive my car into the next semi truck that drives down the opposite lane. I was thinking of killing a homeless man for a new identity, but I came to realize that I caused myself to be in this situation (due to mental illness and stupidity), and an innocent homeless man does not deserve to die. Besides, doing this fucked up shit just makes me feel depressed to begin with.

I am trying to get my hands on morphine to counteract my emptiness (I cannot feel any positivity anymore at all, and have a constant tension headache from the stress of my current predicament). It sucks knowing that you only have seven months left to live, but it is for the better that I die, anyways. Dying is better than living with a destroyed life where you'll never accomplish your dreams. Plus, I am pretty lonely and have no friends. My life is over.

Sorry to post this; I know nobody here cares about it. It is just nice to vent while I am still alive for the short amount I have left. I'll probably be on here until early May (early May is when I commit my suicide plan, and trust me. By that time, I will have complete confidence and hopelessness in life to drive into the semi truck).

 

[Ghost2211]

May I ask why this is your chosen method? It's not reliable and risks others. You might kill the other driver and not yourself.

 

[Vault of Memories]

I understand the feeling that there's nothing left to live for, but you're just fine with potentially killing an innocent person because of this? And what's the deal with the whole homeless man thing?

 

[Smellanie]

I'm also confused about the homeless man. If you're dead set (haha) on doing a car method just drive into a tree. Don't involve random people in your attempt.

 

[Wayfaerer]

May I ask why this is your chosen method? It's not reliable and risks others. You might kill the other driver and not yourself.

I understand the feeling that there's nothing left to live for, but you're just fine with potentially killing an innocent person because of this? And what the hell are you talking about with the homeless man? Is this a troll?

Too be fair, a semi will crush a car like a tin can so I don't think the driver would be put at much if any risk.

 

[Ghost2211]

OP addressed the homeless man thing saying the thought was due to mental illness, and op realized it would be bad.

 

[foxdie]

This plan not only endangers the semi driver but every other driver on the road at the time. I know mental illness and depression are fucking hard but I implore you to come up with a plan that doesn't needlessly endanger others. Check the resources thread at the top of the forum if you need ideas.

 

[Smellanie]

OP addressed the homeless man thing saying the thought was due to mental illness, and op realized it would be bad.

Rip my reading comprehension

 

[Ghost2211]

Rip my reading comprehension

Haha, maybe I'm still half stoned. It made sense in my head.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

My life is going to be destroyed in seven months

may I ask what is going to happen to you in seven months and why you're so sure it will destroy your life?

 

[BrainsAreFragile]

may I ask what is going to happen to you in seven months and why you're so sure it will destroy your life?

I am going to get a criminal record. And you guys are right; instead of a head-on collision, I will make it a tree or a wall.

This plan not only endangers the semi driver but every other driver on the road at the time. I know mental illness and depression are fucking hard but I implore you to come up with a plan that doesn't needlessly endanger others. Check the resources thread at the top of the forum if you need ideas.

True. I changed it to a tree or wall instead. I'll see in seven months

 

[L I F E T O L O S E]

My life is going to be destroyed in seven months, and on the day it gets destroyed, I am going to drive my car into the next semi truck that drives down the opposite lane. I was thinking of killing a homeless man for a new identity, but I came to realize that I caused myself to be in this situation (due to mental illness and stupidity), and an innocent homeless man does not deserve to die. Besides, doing this fucked up shit just makes me feel depressed to begin with.

I am trying to get my hands on morphine to counteract my emptiness (I cannot feel any positivity anymore at all, and have a constant tension headache from the stress of my current predicament). It sucks knowing that you only have seven months left to live, but it is for the better that I die, anyways. Dying is better than living with a destroyed life where you'll never accomplish your dreams. Plus, I am pretty lonely and have no friends. My life is over.

Sorry to post this; I know nobody here cares about it. It is just nice to vent while I am still alive for the short amount I have left. I'll probably be on here until early May (early May is when I commit my suicide plan, and trust me. By that time, I will have complete confidence and hopelessness in life to drive into the semi truck).

Happy new year

 

[BrainsAreFragile]

I understand the feeling that there's nothing left to live for, but you're just fine with potentially killing an innocent person because of this?

Well, I was going to. But I came to a different realization now. Better me than the homeless man.

May I ask why this is your chosen method? It's not reliable and risks others. You might kill the other driver and not yourself.

That's why it was going to be a semi truck, but you're right; there still are risks. I changed the plan to a tree or wall now. Pretty simple. Just speed up to 160 kmph and drive into a tree

 

[Smellanie]

Sorry for not saying this earlier. I'm sorry life has taken this turn for you. People here are generally very sympathetic so if you need to vent more or talk with like minded people we're here for you.

 

[BrainsAreFragile]

Sorry for not saying this earlier. I'm sorry life has taken this turn for you. People here are generally very sympathetic so if you need to vent more or talk with like minded people we're here for you.

Thanks. It's good. Don't be sorry.

 

[AlreadyGone]

My life is going to be destroyed in seven months, and on the day it gets destroyed, I am going to drive my car into the next semi truck that drives down the opposite lane. I was thinking of killing a homeless man for a new identity, but I came to realize that I caused myself to be in this situation (due to mental illness and stupidity), and an innocent homeless man does not deserve to die. Besides, doing this fucked up shit just makes me feel depressed to begin with.

I am trying to get my hands on morphine to counteract my emptiness (I cannot feel any positivity anymore at all, and have a constant tension headache from the stress of my current predicament). It sucks knowing that you only have seven months left to live, but it is for the better that I die, anyways. Dying is better than living with a destroyed life where you'll never accomplish your dreams. Plus, I am pretty lonely and have no friends. My life is over.

Sorry to post this; I know nobody here cares about it. It is just nice to vent while I am still alive for the short amount I have left. I'll probably be on here until early May (early May is when I commit my suicide plan, and trust me. By that time, I will have complete confidence and hopelessness in life to drive into the semi truck).

Why kill a homeless man? Why not drive into a tree or something?

 

[BrainsAreFragile]

Why kill a homeless man? Why not drive into a tree or something?

just fucking forget about it man

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm glad you've changed your mind and have opted for a method that doesn't endanger other lives. I think the more time you spend on SS, the more thoughtful you become about your chosen method.

My fear about your chosen method would be getting seriously injured rather than dying. If your attempt fails, there could be permanent damage that could adversely affect your quality of life, without relieving you of your other challenges.

My real hope for you is that you come to be at peace, whether with your decision or with your life situation. However the story progresses, I wish you peace.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I'm glad you've changed your mind about involving an innocent person in your ctb plan. Also, a lot can change in 7 months. This place is a good sounding board for what is going on in your life... should you change your mind about your decision.

 

[justpeachy]

May I ask why this is your chosen method? It's not reliable and risks others. You might kill the other driver and not yourself.

Seems rather selfish to me. ‍♀

Edit: I saw that he changed his plan. I'm glad.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Yikes, dude. There are so many different ways of killing yourself that does not endanger others. Maybe morphine overdose plus a few shots of vodka. Maybe you could hit a tree or something if you still wanna ctb by car.

 

[the witch’s lament]

I know the feeling of impending doom that you are experiencing. not having a support system is a huge contribution to that feeling, I imagine. as others have mentioned, a car crash involving just the one vehicle would be best as far as involving as few people as possible. however, I would recommend highly against a vehicular trauma CTB. you could become maimed and survive, or be in a permanent vegetative state that is worse than prison. thank you for addressing your initial post and your mentioning of homicide. I can't know to the full extent of your lament but hopefully it is not such that harming someone else is seen as a solution.