housecat
Member
- Apr 5, 2019
- 86
I'm not in the same place that I was when I first found this site last week (just searching for whatever input and help I could without making a fuss), but it's still on my mind, and I'd still like to get some things in my head straight in case another strong urge resurfaces. My life is technically fine, but I have been generally unhappy as long as I can remember, had a couple of particularly low points where life seemed to be nothing beyond a pointless mental agony, and have been finding things harder these past few years. However, it has always been ingrained in me that suicide is selfish, ungrateful etc. I can see why in some respects, but is it not selfish to expect someone to suffer? I am a registered organ donor, and I now live in America, where I could more easily and legally obtain a gun. Surely if I'm passing on this supposed "gift" of life to other people who want it, isn't that ...good? Would that make it easier for people to accept, and not feel guilt or disappointment? Shotgun seems like a pretty reliable method when done right, and I can only presume that it would be one one of the best methods if I wanted to donate my organs? I don't know how to find out how viable organs are in such situations. For now, I'm not going to attempt. I am hopefully going to try seeing a therapist (already take citalopram, which helps make day to day life easier to tolerate, but doesn't make me "happier"). I don't know if I've written a very good post that people can respond to, so I apologise if that's the case. I just couldn't be certain what the right choice was, so didn't make it. I thought some input would be good to have. It's certainly refreshing to actually find a group of people where I can discuss these matters. Again, sorry if this is a badly written mess to read or didn't list enough pertinent information.