kindawannacrylol
Student
- Jan 13, 2021
- 142
I've recently noticed that entering new 'seasons' of my life make me feel much more suicidal than usual and almost like a failure, events like celebrating birthdays or starting a new job/new year. I can't help but feel like i shouldn't be there, I feel as if i've failed by still being alive in that moment. While people in recovery may be proud of themselves for reaching milestones in their lives i feel the complete opposite, i hate entering new 'chapters of life'. I feel disgusted in myself that I've failed to end my life and because of that I'm forced to live through another year/grow older/another job. I guess it's similar to the feeling you get when there's been an extra season added to a show that doesn't need an extra season. It already had a perfect ending, it should've ended.