new here

[Sinkinshyp]

Hi folks I've posted some. I'm fairly new in here. I learned about SN a few days ago, read up about it and it brought me here. I've been reading through threads and finally joined yesterday. I can relate on so many levels with so many of you. I was mentally and physically abused my first 17 years. I became a single mom at 20. My son passed almost 3yrs ago in a car accident on his way to work. He was my life, my heart and soul and 25. I died that day. I just don't know why my body hasn't gone yet. I guess I need some SN to help it out. I swallowed a bunch of pills a yr and a half ago. I got to stay in the emergency room recovering for like 2 days than shipped into psych-for 30 hours lmao. I got out and have been playing some cards since planning my way.. saving meds, DNR from doc, preparing finances so younger son can be taken care of...and the last part finding that solution to this problem of waking up. I've found it! bonus to finding the solution I found this board to share with folks until it's time to fly. Finally when I say I want to go people really get it and don't say well he wouldn't want you to do that.. I'm so sick of hearing that.

Just a warning- younger folks it's the mother in me. If you don't sound totally for sure I may try to act motherly in advice. I can't help it! forgive me please... the only thing in this life I did right was being a mom. I'm so sorry for those of you who didn't have the same. I know we are all here for the same reasons-the way to peace. it's just that mom part of me kicks in sometimes..

 

[Zyntkalla]

Welcome I am also pretty new here as well, and I understand the pain you are in.

 

[Sarahlynn]

Welcome, and I'm sorry you' re here. So sorry to read about your son. One of few things holding me back is my family, as I know I will devastate them.

Fairly new myself as a registered user, but had been lurking for a while.

But remember this forum isn't just for finding methods and a way out - being able to vent and finding support is a huge part as well. I guess a whole lot of users on this forum needs a "mom" to give them caring advice and support every now and then, so we need users like you! Keep it up

 

[foxdie]

Welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss. About the mother in you, just try to be supportive on here. I've never had any kids and I have to stop myself from posting certain messages thinking I can save anyone. The world is fucked.

 

[miguel6565]

welcome to the beatifull SS community,hope you find peace here

 

[Good4Nothing]

Welcome. We're the same age. I'm sorry about your son. It must be hard. I never had kids.

 

[Nymph]

Welcome, I'm also pretty new here but gotten comfortable already. I met some pretty cool ppl here

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry that you've been through such things. i can hope you can find some solace on ss.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Welcome, and I'm sorry you' re here. So sorry to read about your son. One of few things holding me back is my family, as I know I will devastate them.

Fairly new myself as a registered user, but had been lurking for a while.

But remember this forum isn't just for finding methods and a way out - being able to vent and finding support is a huge part as well. I guess a whole lot of users on this forum needs a "mom" to give them caring advice and support every now and then, so we need users like you! Keep it up

I read a ton of threads over the last few days. I guess we all are lurkers to an extent before joining. Seeing if we would fit in here where we didn't fit in in life. I noticed a few threads about bad parents- especially moms. A hurtful mother can screw someone up in a heartbeat. A lot of serial killers are that way from their moms. My abusers were my dad and my 1st boyfriend all threw heavy punches. I think when dads abuse kids yeah it causes issues but not to the extent of a bad mother.. I know it did my brother and I. A mom is where we started this journey- 2 heartbeats as 1. Her body will starve her out to save the child, it's just natural a mom be supportive and loving. Try being pregnant and not eat- your body will do everything to preserve that child even if it kills you in that process. When I viewed threads I thought how ironic is this mess... here are younger folks wanting to CTB because of a evil mom and I'm here to CTB because my life was being a mom and I am destroyed without my son.

Anytime anyone wants some motherly advice I'll gladly try my best to offer just ask. I don't want to intrude where I shouldn't. I'm a caring person. If I could save someone I would in a heartbeat yet at the same time someone trying to save me would be a waste of their time better. I dont want another mother to feel how I do.. so I have to view threads from 2 views- as a mom yet as a woman who is ready to CTB and needs some friends on this journey I've started.

 

[the witch’s lament]

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your son. such a tragic loss that has obviously changed everything for you. I am brand new to SS as well but the support and information has been exactly what I've been needing for so long. glad we both found it :)

we had a brief interaction on my "Hotel CTB Newsworthy?" thread. you said you were interested in the same CTB method as I am so feel free to reach out to me and talk about it, or about anything at all. I need some motherly advice sometimes too so hope to talk soon

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your son. such a tragic loss that has obviously changed everything for you. I am brand new to SS as well but the support and information has been exactly what I've been needing for so long. glad we both found it :)

we had a brief interaction on my "Hotel CTB Newsworthy?" thread. you said you were interested in the same CTB method as I am so feel free to reach out to me and talk about it, or about anything at all. I need some motherly advice sometimes too so hope to talk soon ❤

I just learned about SN the other day. I am very happy I found SS. I think it's exactly what the doctor ordered for me =) . feel free to reach out to me as well. ANYTIME anyone wants some motherly advice I will do my best to be there for them. I just picked up a few of the abbreviations since reading this forum the last few days. I don't know what some are. I have figured out SN, CTB had to look it up, and SI-I think. I'm ordering my SN today. I just need to find a reason I'm ordering in case any questions are asked. Not sure if they will ask any but want to be prepared. I think beef jerky is a good reason? yes, when I found out what happened to my son on his way to work... I died right there. I was never normal. I have had depression and anxiety all my life. Being a single mom I kept issues controlled because my son needed me. He was my glue I guess. I took anxiety meds for the last 12 years or so. I just snapped when he went. I've stuck it out 3 years next month. I'm getting worse as time goes by. The only love and light in my life was my sons. I am nothing without my sons.