Story New Here

[Suicide_vampire]

Hey there, so decided to take a wee look on here as I feel it's a community of like minded individuals who are open and non judgemental.
To give some background, I'm 47 and have struggled with mental health all my life, depression possible bipolar or borderline and I was diagnosed just over a year ago with being on the spectrum it was a ridiculously late diagnosis, and I feel I have been cheated all my life as I missed the support and guidance that would have been given to me had I been diagnosed as autistic as a child. I'm high functioning but I have always felt like an alien on this planet I have never fit in have always been a loner. I have many failed relationships behind me also, 2 ex wives who were both physically and psychologically abusive to me. In the past I have been a cutter. I just find it difficult to make connections my only friend is my dog; and maybe find others who I can speak with about darker thoughts, people who won't panic and think it's weird and unhealthy.
I can be a support to others just not good at turning the mirror of reflection on myself. Well it's good to find this place and be amongst similar souls.
Feel free to respond in whatever way you wish.
Regards.... Stu

 

[Oyoy]

You sound nice and I hope you find solace.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Thanks for the message

 

[Thereisnothing]

Hey there, so decided to take a wee look on here as I feel it's a community of like minded individuals who are open and non judgemental.
To give some background, I'm 47 and have struggled with mental health all my life, depression possible bipolar or borderline and I was diagnosed just over a year ago with being on the spectrum it was a ridiculously late diagnosis, and I feel I have been cheated all my life as I missed the support and guidance that would have been given to me had I been diagnosed as autistic as a child. I'm high functioning but I have always felt like an alien on this planet I have never fit in have always been a loner. I have many failed relationships behind me also, 2 ex wives who were both physically and psychologically abusive to me. In the past I have been a cutter. I just find it difficult to make connections my only friend is my dog; and maybe find others who I can speak with about darker thoughts, people who won't panic and think it's weird and unhealthy.
I can be a support to others just not good at turning the mirror of reflection on myself. Well it's good to find this place and be amongst similar souls.
Feel free to respond in whatever way you wish.
Regards.... Stu

Welcome here, hoping you'll find strength from the posts, comments chatter among the forum. It sure helps me to know am not alone as in the outside world as you have said noone 'gets' it, here we can just be ourselves. Look forward to seeing you around on here. Well done for your introduction, a big step.

 

[Oyoy]

Thanks for the message

I think that our solution is to have a mission or purpous beyond ourselves.

 

[Mm80]

Hey there, so decided to take a wee look on here as I feel it's a community of like minded individuals who are open and non judgemental.
To give some background, I'm 47 and have struggled with mental health all my life, depression possible bipolar or borderline and I was diagnosed just over a year ago with being on the spectrum it was a ridiculously late diagnosis, and I feel I have been cheated all my life as I missed the support and guidance that would have been given to me had I been diagnosed as autistic as a child. I'm high functioning but I have always felt like an alien on this planet I have never fit in have always been a loner. I have many failed relationships behind me also, 2 ex wives who were both physically and psychologically abusive to me. In the past I have been a cutter. I just find it difficult to make connections my only friend is my dog; and maybe find others who I can speak with about darker thoughts, people who won't panic and think it's weird and unhealthy.
I can be a support to others just not good at turning the mirror of reflection on myself. Well it's good to find this place and be amongst similar souls.
Feel free to respond in whatever way you wish.
Regards.... Stu

Hello stu.
Glad you found this site. Its full of non judgemental caring people who will give and receive support unconditionally.
I can relate so much to your story in regards to high functioning autism. Ive just had all the tests and im expecting to be diagnosed soon. Im 39 and was written off with depression and medicine age 18. I have used the exact same word to my friends. Robbed. I have seen so many mental health proffesionals over the years and not one spotted it. Im in the uk btw.i think with the support and guidance that you mentioned, we could have had happier more satisfying lives. My only hope is that the next generation of autistic kids have a better time of it.
Welcome and thanks.

 

[BrokenConk3r]

What is your profile pic ,it seems really cool.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Thereisnothing & Mm80 thanks for your messages.
Yeah robbed is a good word to describe it. I'm in the UK also, once you get your diagnosis don't be surprised if you are just left, if you are not severe autism, there is no funding for continued support through NHS you just have to find the support on your own.

What is your profile pic ,it seems really cool.

Thanks, it's the album cover for the band Theatres Des Vampires, the album is called Suicide Vampire

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey welcome, Love! Sorry that ur situation has brought u here..We r here to listen, so feel free to vent..I can see from ur posts that your very supportive n give great advice! It's well aprreciated here!
I really believe dogs r man's best friend. As I type here, my 130lb rottweiler is on the floor on the side of my bed, n my 8lb pekingese chihuahua is sleeping on my bed, at my side..They r the most loyal friends u can have..Sending u love n strength

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Glad you found the community! If you need to talk to anyone we are always here

im sorry to hear about your late diagnosis

i hope you find the strength to pull through

 

[Lara Francis]

Welcome to our community @Suicide_vampire
I hope it brings you the support and guidance you seek